The long goodbye: Vision of post-Putin Russia is set out in marathon conference

Vladimir Putin has launched a stinging attack on plans for Kosovo independence, accusing the West of double standards in its approach and directing several other characteristically vicious barbs at the West.

"Are you Europeans not ashamed of yourselves to approach the same issues in different parts of the world with such double standards?" asked Mr Putin during a marathon question and answer session with journalists in Moscow.

Speaking days before the UN-administered Serbian province is expected to declare independence, he said that if Kosovo could do so, there is no reason why Turkish-controlled Northern Cyprus, or territories like Abkhazia in Georgia should not also be allowed to break away. He also repeated threats to aim nuclear missiles at Ukraine and Poland if elements of a proposed US anti-missile system were installed there.

More than 1,000 journalists gathered in a Kremlin conference hall for the audience with the president, and in a feat of Castro-esque endurance, Mr Putin answered questions for more than four-and-a-half hours without a break, ranging in subject from foreign policy to his personal life. He assured Russians that his anointed successor Dmitry Medvedev would continue his course, and that he himself planned to be a long-serving and powerful prime minister.

He said he was not worried about any potential policy disagreements with Mr Medvedev in future, and said that a major policy speech to be given today by Mr Medvedev at a Siberian forum would be a "continuation" of his own strategy. There was no need for Mr Medvedev to take part in pre-election debates or answer questions because he had showed the country his policies in action, and the lack of political discussion in the country was not due to a lack of democracy but because "the vast majority of Russians support the course we have taken over the past few years".

While insisting he had never planned to change the constitution and stay on for a third term as president, he hinted that Prime Minister Putin would not undergo the humiliation of hanging a portrait of President Medvedev in his office: "I don't need to hang his portrait in order to build good relations with him; we have other ways of communicating."

Many regional reporters, representing various outlets across Russia's 11 time zones, had come with brightly painted banners which they waved enthusiastically, hoping they would be picked to ask a question. Many simply offered thanks to Mr Putin for various local projects, or for making a visit to their region.

The cloying words of thanks took on a new level when a young, pretty radio reporter asked Mr Putin if he had received any Valentine's cards. No, said the president, he had woken up, done some exercise, and come straight to the conference, so hadn't had a chance to check. "I would like to give you a Valentine's card," said the reporter, who at the end of the conference handed over her pink, heart-shaped card.

The few occasions where Mr Putin appeared to become irritable and raise his voice were all responses to foreign policy questions and Western attitudes towards Russia. He repeatedly said that Russia was not seeking a confrontation with the West and did not want a return to the Cold War, but if provoked would respond adequately.

He was particularly scathing in response to allegations printed in the Western press that he had accumulated a secret fortune during his time in office, which were "nonsense" that Western newspapers had "picked out of their noses and smeared on the paper", said Mr Putin.

Another target for criticism was the Organisation for Security and Co-operation in Europe, which said it would not be sending its observers to monitor the presidential election on 2 March after Russian authorities refused to meet its conditions on the arrival date for election monitors. Mr Putin said that "nobody has the right to dictate conditions to Russia". Instead of trying to "teach" Russia how to behave, said Mr Putin, they should "teach their own wife how to make cabbage soup".

Summing up his eight years in charge, he said he had worked "like a galley slave" and was proud of his achievements. When asked what he most regretted about his presidency, he said that there had been "no serious failures". At no point were any of the more controversial events during his time in office raised, such as the Kursk submarine disaster, the Nord-Ost theatre siege or the Beslan school hostage-taking.

President Putin, stand-up comic

In response to a reporter saying she wanted to have a child:

"Congratulations. Why, are you asking me?"

On being wealthy:

"As for various rumours about my personal wealth... that is empty talk which shouldn't even be discussed. I've seen some papers... That is just rubbish, just excavated from someone's nose and then spread on those bits of paper."

On Poll boycott by European observers:

"Well, let them teach their own wives how to cook soup."

On being president:

"Heads of state have no right to whinge, or drool for any reason. If they are going to slobber and blow snot and say things are bad, bad, then that's how it will be."

On President Bush:

"Sometimes you have to make decisions that nobody else can make... Do you think Bush has it easy?"

On guaranteeing the rouble:

"What do you want? Do you want me to eat soil from a flower pot? Make an oath in blood?"

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