FLAT EARTH

Bugging Vegas

A delicious rumour is spreading around Las Vegas's criminal community: that because of Y2K, there is a good chance that all records at the county jail will magically vaporise on 1 January, forcing the authorities to release everyone from their holding cells and drunk tanks at the dawn of the new millennium.

The rumour has been fanned further by prosecutors and judges who sincerely hope the upheaval will give them plenty of free time to work on their desert tans - even though Vegas is likely to be mobbed for the New Year celebrations, and the police are going to be working overtime to round up the usual over-exuberant suspects.

The truth, unfortunately, is likely to be rather less spectacular. But one little scenario hasn't been discounted: electronic doors to the judges' and prosecutors' offices might just clamp shut, incarcerating the incarcerators until the computer boffins can figure a way of getting them out. Now there's a scenario to warm a Vegas hoodlum's heart.

Smile - or else

"There's an idea making the rounds that Aeroflot personnel aren't particularly hospitable and likeable," says the Russian airline. For some reason Aeroflot is under the impression that its crews are perceived as grumpy and difficult. To remedy this, the airline has announced that 10 December is to be designated as "smile day". Flight attendants have been told to put on happy faces, and passengers are invited to name the one with the "most brilliant smile".

Let's hope the strain's not too great, or Aeroflot's hapless clientele might find their tea and sandwiches being slammed down on their fold-down tables even harder than usual.

Martha knows best

WWJD is a phrase that you will see all over the Southern states of the US, on bumper stickers, T-shirts, button badges and so on. It stands for "What Would Jesus Do?", a popular slogan among the born-again and religiously- minded. But there is a new slogan available for the more secular, seen embroidered on a cushion featured in the Washington Post: WWMD. It stands for "What Would Martha Do?" - Martha being Martha Stewart, the influential and very wealthy style guru whom millions of Americans consider a god.

FIONA BELL

Start your day with The Independent, sign up for daily news emails
News
One Direction's Zayn Malik gazes at a bouquet of flowers in the 'Night Changes' music video
people
News
people
News
'Free the Nipple' film screening after party with We Are The XX, New York, America - 04 Feb 2014
news
Arts and Entertainment
Russell Tovey, Myanna Buring and Julian Rhind Tutt star in Banished
tvReview: The latest episode was a smidgen less depressing... but it’s hardly a bonza beach party
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
ebooks
ebooksA special investigation by Andy McSmith
  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Sales Manager

£35000 - £45000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is a unique opportunity to...

Recruitment Genius: Trainee Manager - Production

Negotiable: Recruitment Genius: Trainee Managers are required to join the UK's...

Recruitment Genius: Telesales Manager

£25000 - £35000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: You will maximise the effective...

SThree: Trainee Recruitment Consultant

£20000 - £25000 per annum + uncapped commission : SThree: Hello! I know most ...

Day In a Page

The saffron censorship that governs India: Why national pride and religious sentiment trump freedom of expression

The saffron censorship that governs India

Zareer Masani reveals why national pride and religious sentiment trump freedom of expression
Prince Charles' 'black spider' letters to be published 'within weeks'

Prince Charles' 'black spider' letters to be published 'within weeks'

Supreme Court rules Dominic Grieve's ministerial veto was invalid
Distressed Zayn Malik fans are cutting themselves - how did fandom get so dark?

How did fandom get so dark?

Grief over Zayn Malik's exit from One Direction seemed amusing until stories of mass 'cutting' emerged. Experts tell Gillian Orr the distress is real, and the girls need support
The galaxy collisions that shed light on unseen parallel Universe

The cosmic collisions that have shed light on unseen parallel Universe

Dark matter study gives scientists insight into mystery of space
The Swedes are adding a gender-neutral pronoun to their dictionary

Swedes introduce gender-neutral pronoun

Why, asks Simon Usborne, must English still struggle awkwardly with the likes of 's/he' and 'they'?
Disney's mega money-making formula: 'Human' remakes of cartoon classics are part of a lucrative, long-term creative plan

Disney's mega money-making formula

'Human' remakes of cartoon classics are part of a lucrative, long-term creative plan
Easter 2015: 14 best decorations

14 best Easter decorations

Get into the Easter spirit with our pick of accessories, ornaments and tableware
Inside the Kansas greenhouses where Monsanto is 'playing God' with the future of the planet

The future of GM

The greenhouses where Monsanto 'plays God' with the future of the planet
Britain's mild winters could be numbered: why global warming is leaving UK chillier

Britain's mild winters could be numbered

Gulf Stream is slowing down faster than ever, scientists say
Government gives £250,000 to Independent appeal

Government gives £250,000 to Independent appeal

Donation brings total raised by Homeless Veterans campaign to at least £1.25m
Oh dear, the most borrowed book at Bank of England library doesn't inspire confidence

The most borrowed book at Bank of England library? Oh dear

The book's fifth edition is used for Edexcel exams
Cowslips vs honeysuckle: The hunt for the UK’s favourite wildflower

Cowslips vs honeysuckle

It's the hunt for UK’s favourite wildflower
Child abuse scandal: Did a botched blackmail attempt by South African intelligence help Cyril Smith escape justice?

Did a botched blackmail attempt help Cyril Smith escape justice?

A fresh twist reveals the Liberal MP was targeted by the notorious South African intelligence agency Boss
Tony Blair joins a strange and exclusive club of political leaders whose careers have been blighted by the Middle East

Blair has joined a strange and exclusive club

A new tomb has just gone up in the Middle East's graveyard of US and British political reputations, says Patrick Cockburn
Election 2015: Meet the top 12 wacky candidates seeking your vote in May

Election 2015

Meet the top 12 wacky candidates seeking your vote in May