06 July 2011 12:00 AM
Great to hear my old pal Hugh Grant give the tabloid red tops a hammering. The lower end of the UK press has gone a bit crazy and it needed a shining knight like Hugh to come and slay the dragons.
30 May 2011 04:19 PM
I'm tired... so goddam tired. I need a vacation and I haven't had one in ages. The problem is that I hate going away in Europe. Europeans really annoy me with their dull little towns that are all closed by nine in the evening after they have finished patronising me with suggestions for expensive, hideous wine to wash down the various inedible cuts of meat they like to eat in their particular armpit of the continent.
05 May 2011 12:05 PM
OhmyGod, will everybody stop whining about “whether we should have shot Osama or not…”. The guy was Public Enemy Number One, and suddenly we’re supposed to be reading him his rights and getting him a lawyer?
28 April 2011 11:04 AM
On the set of the movie I’m producing, watching the actors film a great scene definitely destined to become a cinema classic. I’m from the Morrissey school of expectations – the guy will only publish his autobiography if it’s a Penguin Classic.
27 April 2011 11:38 AM
It’s all gone wild in the country. I am now up for assault on the census Nazi and, because he is some distant relative of Victoria's family, they are split down the middle in their support.
26 April 2011 10:15 AM
The census guy that I got into an “altercation” with has now pressed charges and the police contacted me in London asking me to come down to the country to answer some questions.
21 April 2011 11:30 AM
I lost it with A/C List guy. I need this movie to go big but I don’t need to be some kind of loser nanny to this idiot to get that done.
20 April 2011 11:14 AM
Nursing my big Hollywood name through this movie project is starting to become a little like keeping Tiger Woods out of Hooters – it’s impossible.
19 April 2011 10:23 AM
Back in London, thank God. I get stir crazy if I’m in the country for too long – I need proper coffee and the smell of car exhausts to keep sane.
14 April 2011 11:57 AM
Mulligan called me from Scotland saying that he’d dumped the Lesbian Sticker Lady somewhere near Oban and that she had “got the message”.
13 April 2011 10:54 AM
We were up early for the second day of “Operation Lesbian Sticker Lady”. Mulligan armed the Quattroporte again. Anybody touching it would get a severe electric shock. Mulligan had shown me his hands that had been burnt raw from when he'd tested it. He now had them wrapped in bandages.
12 April 2011 12:07 PM
I parked the Quattroporte on the other side of the street from the Cooperdome so that I could take advantage of the good weather to sit on the balcony and observe “Operation Lesbian Sticker Lady”.
11 April 2011 11:49 AM
I was finally allowed to see what Mulligan had been building to capture the Lesbian Sticker Lady. It seemed to be a series of wires with sucker pads on the end.
06 April 2011 11:41 AM
I managed to get Mulligan out on bail after his traffic warden assault. I told the police that if they actually did something about my complaints and tried to find Lesbian Sticker Lady, I wouldn’t be employing my own vigilantes to protect my property.
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