Cooper Brown
A handsome bald male, Cooper Brown is a 21st century success story. While doing an internship at Paramount in LA some big shots liked the Cooper style and took him under their wing. Now he’s a veteran of the shallow, backstabbing and treacherous movie industry, and he loves it.
Two years ago he moved to London in pursuit of an extremely hot chick called Victoria, who knows everyone who's anyone in London and launched the Coop onto the party scene, which he enjoys with gusto. Also an adviser to the Conservative Party on matters media, he runs a production company, Gonzoballs Inc. His column every Thursday looks at his favourite subject: Cooper Brown, a high-flying Yank making it big in London Town.
Victoria Brown: My husband has been kidnapped and sent to prison in Mexico
She's Out There: 'I can see Cooper now, hunched over his laptop, so protective over what he was doing'
Recently by Cooper Brown
Cooper Brown: They're denying me free expression and blocking press freedoms
Thursday, 21 August 2008
He's Out There: 'We ended up watching the Olympics and sort of making out. The Cooperman has still got it...'
Cooper Brown: It turns out that my name is on some "terror" list
Thursday, 7 August 2008
He's Out There: 'Victoria is British so they can't kick her out – and where would they send her to, the Republic of Prada?'
Cooper Brown: I see Mrs Himmler naked three times in two days
Thursday, 31 July 2008
He's Out There: 'Victoria seems to find it hilarious that her mum is hitting on me. But it makes me feel quite sick'
Cooper Brown: Victoria (my wife!!!!! How weird is that?)
Thursday, 24 July 2008
He’s Out There: 'If you must fly with offspring, they should go in cattle class. I don't pay £4,000 to sit next to a child'
Cooper Brown: He's Out There
Thursday, 17 July 2008
'I keep looking the sushi chef's way. Then he catches me and we're fixed in some kind of kamikaze stare-off'
Cooper Brown: He's Out There
Thursday, 10 July 2008
'The priest had really bad halitosis and he kept leaning in towards me. I nearly threw up all over him'
Cooper Brown: He's Out There
Thursday, 3 July 2008
'Why am I getting married? Why just eat one candy bar slowly when you can have the whole store?'
Cooper Brown: He's Out There
Thursday, 26 June 2008
'We are eight days and counting until Coop becomes a married man and women around the world weep'
Cooper Brown: He's Out There
Thursday, 19 June 2008
'Minnie Driver has agreed to sing at the wedding. Victoria is going to go mental when she finds out'
Cooper Brown: He's Out There
Thursday, 12 June 2008
'Suddenly, Hugo smashes a pint glass over his head – he's a real ice-breaker in awkward moments'
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Columnist Comments
• Andrew Grice: The Chancellor must consider tax hikes.
Despite the weight on his shoulders, the Chancellor remains remarkably calm.
• Howard Jacobson: The lesson of Hitler's deformity.
So Hitler actually did have only one ball. I call that a pity for history.
• Deborah Orr: Praising the public on pointless decisions.
People power, as it pertains to television anyway, is proving to be a tricky beast.
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Commented
1 Kabul 30 years ago, and Kabul today. Have we learned nothing?
2 Rupert Cornwell: Formidable opponent is now the best choice
3 Howard Jacobson: Read more literature and less history. That's the lesson of Hitler's deformity
4 Johann Hari: Charles as President? Not in my name
5 Robert Skidelsky: What would Keynes have done?
6 Tom Sutcliffe: The urbane power of Alistair Cooke
7 Feargal Sharkey: When we rocked the Kasbah, the band was bigger than the crowd
8 Rupert Cornwell: Where can the Republicans go now?
9 Amy Jenkins: A dose of Noughties realism – and therapy that works
10 Deborah Orr: It's easy to praise the public on decisions that don't matter
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