Cooper Brown: Back home

I lost it with A/C List guy. I need this movie to go big but I don’t need to be some kind of loser nanny to this idiot to get that done.

After he’d set fire to the hotel corridor I checked him out the next day and moved him into the Cooperdome – where it’s my house, my rules. He goes to set with me every day – then he can do what he wants after shooting has wrapped until 10pm when he has to be in my place and locked into the guest room. It turns out he’s on some form of parole and the rules went down better than I thought they would.

Somebody should pay me big bucks to get on Lindsay Lohan’s ass and sort her stuff out … (that came out wrong but whatever…) Anyways, A/C List guy goes off to see some chick straight from the set and I’m imagining all sorts of nightmares when he doesn’t make curfew, but no, he is back at quarter to ten and he’s all meek and goes into his room without a murmur. I celebrate by cracking open a bottle of Billecart- Salmon (quietly, so the guy doesn’t start getting thirsty) and I’m quietly congratulating myself when there’s this almighty smash and I jump in the air.

I hear screaming from the guest room and I open the door to see the French windows smashed and A/C List guy standing in the wreckage and screaming at some chick in the street who is drunk and crying. She turns out to be the chick he was seeing. He dumped her and she followed him home and threw a brick through the window. This can’t go on. Cooper Out.

Twitter- @icooperbrown