Miles Kington: So what is the most alcoholic drink on sale in the pub?

We were round at our friends Liz and Alan's the other day, Friday, actually. They were just about to drive up through Worcestershire to Shropshire. Day of the floods. They didn't know that then. Anyway, Alan had a quiz question for me.

"If you go into a pub, Miles, what is the strongest drink, ABV, that you will normally find on sale?"

"ABV?"

"Alcohol by volume."

"Hmmmmm..."

It's a very Alan question. He likes the ins and outs of quirky knowledge, especially if he knows the answer. I have picked up a lot of arcane knowledge from Alan and forgotten most of it.

He also goes off with his friend Eric on the occasional booze cruise, or pâté sortie, so I suspected he might have come across some weirdly potent drink across the Channel, but if it was on sale in pubs, it would not be that exotic, would it? So, not mescal. Or pisco. Not Fernet Branca.

The strongest drink I ever came across was a bottle of nearly raw spirit which a friend brought back from Alaska, and which had two admonishments on the label. One was never to drink it without a mixer. The other was not to put it near a naked flame. It was indistinguishable from industrial alcohol. But you don't get that in pubs. So it must be a trick question of some kind. Some drink you would never suspect of being very strong because it was ... a liqueur?

"Crème de menthe?" I tried.

"No," he said. "It's Angostura bitters. Nearly 50 per cent ABV."

"I don't think Angostura bitters are even alcoholic," I said. "It's just flavouring, isn't it?"

"Liz!" said Alan. "Where's our bottle of Angostura?"

Out of the recesses of Liz's memory, and then out of a dusty cupboard, was unearthed an old and grimy Angostura bottle, with that lovely label which is so badly designed they can never get it straight on the bottle, and you can never read it.

But we deciphered it, and it was 44.7 per cent. Which is not only stronger than the strongest rum and the strongest gin, but very strong indeed.

But then, you never knock back Angostura by the glassful. At most, you use it to moisten a glass for a pink gin, or add it to fizzy water as a refreshing summer drink. Or put it into stews, casseroles, etc.

(There is, of course the old Billy Connolly story about the Celtic supporter, dying for a pint, who finds himself in a bar in Rome and cannot recognise any of the drinks there, so says to the barman: "What does the Pope drink?" And the barman says the Pope is said to be partial to a crème de menthe frappé, and the Scot says he'll have a pint of that, then, and manages to down it. As he is weaving his way to the exit, he says: "I can see now why they have to carry him round in that big chair!")

Still, I felt a niggling doubt about Angostura being the strongest drink in the pub, even at 44.7 per cent ABV, so when we got home I went down into the most cobwebbed part of our cellar, where we keep all those old and unwanted bottles of spirits which seemed a good idea to buy at the time, and I checked all the unwanted ABVs, and what do you know? Angostura is not the top scorer at 44.7 per cent. I have a bottle of Ricard pastis which just tops that, at 45 per cent. (Though there is also a bottle of Pernod pastis at only 40 per cent.) There is a bottle of Canadian whisky made by Gooderham and Worts Ltd, which levels out at 50 per cent ABV. And I finally came across a bottle of Laphroaig single malt whisky, bottled by the independent whisky bottlers Cadenhead, which proudly claims to be 58.4 per cent ABV.

Of course, Alan may claim that none of these is commonly encountered in a pub. And he may be right. But I shall not give up without a fight.

I hope Liz and Alan get back through the floods all right. They are due back today. I really hope they arrive safe and well. I should hate to forgo an argument with Alan which I have a chance of winning.

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