Pandora: If you've gotta go ...

The Conservatives' manifesto for next Thursday's local elections, "Vote Blue Go Green", cites environmentally-minded Tory councils across the land. Stroud District Council, the document explains, "has installed a pop-up urinal in an attempt to combat the problem of urinating in shop doorways".

This Bond villain-esque contraption, a hydraulic "Urilift", is "a stainless steel structure housing three urinals which during the day is hidden underground but in the evening is raised up, by remote control, for use by night time visitors to the centre".

A pleasing image comes to mind of a binge drinker – slumped snoozing over his receptacle in the middle of the street – slowly sinking into the pavement as the sun rises and the toilet retracts to its reeky daytime abode.

The Conservatives insist: "This election is a chance to vote for change" – and techno-pissoirs!

Labour opens a Khan of worms in Manchester

Rrrround one! Ding ding. Basking in the glow of celebrities is risky for politicians – especially when the luminary in question is a jug-lobed pugilist.

The Labour Party will tomorrow receive a call from Amir Khan's management, querying the boxer's appearance on campaign leaflets for next week's local elections. Khan, 21, is pictured with Labour candidate Amina Lone on pamphlets for the Manchester ward of Whalley Range, a fiercely contested seat which used to be a red-light district but now has a significant Muslim population.

Khan and his management, including promoter Frank Warren, are so careful to avoid politics that the puncher cannot even campaign for his uncle, Shahid Mahmood (father of the cricketer Sajid Mahmood), who is standing for the Conservatives in Bolton.

Khan's agent is in Vegas, but emails: "Amir stays away from politics and concentrates on his profession. I'm not aware of us authorising the use of Amir's image." He intends to contact Labour upon his return.

Lone, 35, a parenting course organiser, concedes that Khan "is not backing my campaign, he's not participating politically. He says he doesn't even vote."

The Conservative Party has long sought associations with Khan. David Cameron praised him last month as "a proud Muslim and a great British citizen". Yet when Cameron opened Khan's Bolton boxing gym in January, the Tories were strictly informed that the occasion could in no way be presented as a party endorsement.

Time ticks away on Clooney's Darfur watch

With the exception of Don Cheadle, George Clooney is Hollywood's most outspoken campaigner against the genocide in Darfur.

The actor is in a pickle over the Beijing Olympics. China is the Sudanese government's main economic, political and military sponsor. Clooney has a swanky endorsement deal as the face (boom) of Omega watches, one of the dozen principal sponsors of the Beijing Games.

"We're four months from the Olympics, so now is the time to act," says Clooney in an interview with Paris Match. "You know the owners of Omega are good friends of mine, Nick Hayek and his father. I have spent hours with them at my place trying to convince them to take a more political position and to denounce the politics of China in the Sudan. Still a long way to go on that one."

Gorgeous George is all for gentle diplomacy, but, as his objections are ignored, how about returning the cash and arranging a public smashing of his timepiece?

Jenkins seeks nice aria

Back to school for Katherine Jenkins. "What I really want to do," the mezzo-soprano tells Pandora, "is go and work in the opera. I just met Placido Domingo and he said I could study opera with him at his school. And you don't get many better offers than that."

The Neath diva, 27, is commercially successful but considered by music buffs to have some distance to travel before she can join the operatic elite. She recently sang with Domingo at Hong Kong's AsiaWorld arena – not an ideal venue, admittedly. The critic from the South China Morning Post sniffily grumbled: "Jenkins' vibrato was too fast ... She sang flat and avoided sustaining [some] high notes."

Attention at the back. Lines!

Happy punter

Assorted red-top exposés attempted, over the years, to portray Steve Coogan as possessing an enthusiasm for rumpy pumpy, and for the Colombian barons' finest, that would make truffle pigs seem demure.

Those days are, of course, behind him. Interesting to hear, though, that the comic's next character will be a man with his own troubles. Coogan will play a gambling addict in Sunshine, an upbeat three-part drama co-written for BBC1 by Craig Cash – the not so dopey Dave from The Royle Family.

Cash's "heart-warming" tale is the first commission for his new company Jellylegs Productions. A previous version starring Peter Kay fell apart in December. Filming has begun in Salford and the series will be screened this autumn.

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