Pandora: Queen sidelines Charles's royal toothpaste squeezer

Prince Charles faced unwanted headlines this week after it was revealed that he would be holding two parties to celebrate his 60th birthday despite the current global economic downturn.

One pressing detail, however, doesn't quite stand to reason. According to reports, the first of these parties is a "lavish gathering" being organised at Buckingham Palace by the Prince's controversial party organiser (and sometime toothpaste dispenser) Michael Fawcett.

The Queen, I'm told, has made it quite clear that it will be her, not Fawcett, who will be in charge of preparations.

"The Queen is paying for the party and is therefore the host, says a royal source. "The Royal Household are organising it, and Fawcett is not involved. I'm sure he will be organising the second party which is being held at Highgrove, and paid for by his boss Prince Charles, but certainly not the one where the bill is footed by the Queen.

"I think it's fair to say the mention of his name at the palace isn't exactly met with yelps of joy from neither Liz nor the ancien regime on the staff there."

The royal family's reputation has been damaged in the past after it was revealed that Fawcett had been selling royal gifts to the highest bidder.

Yesterday, a Buckingham Palace spokesman confirmed the parties were taking place but declined to comment further.

Keys: I've only watched twice

The decision to entrust the American R&B singer Alicia Keys with the latest Bond film theme tune has had its fare share of critics, but she is not exactly leading a charm offensive to win them back round.

Keys, whose duet with Jack White, "Another Way To Die", will appear in the next 007 outing Quantum Of Solace, admits that she is hardly the franchise's number one fan.

"I'm not exactly up on it," says the 27-year-old New Yorker. "I saw Goldfinger and Casino Royale. I've got a lot of work to do on the Bond side."

As for her favourite Bond tune, Keys opts for the safe option of Shirley Bassey's "Goldfinger". Which, as any Bond fan will tell you, is every bit as boring as saying "A Day In The Life" is your favourite Beatles track.

Ronan joins in the horseplay

Ronan Keating has decided to squander some of his well-earned millions by buying a racehorse.

The singer purchased the colt at the Goffs Million Yearling Sale in County Kildare yesterday, going three ways with the Westlife crooner Nicky Byrne and Byrne's sister-in-law Cecelia Ahern, the daughter of the former Taoiseach, Bertie Ahern.

The nag's prospects certainly look good. It was sired by Footstepinthesand, the winner of the 2000 Guineas in 2005. "It was bought through an agent so we are not sure what they paid for it yet, but it wouldn't have been cheap" I'm told. "It has certainly got the breeding but we'll just have to see how he gets on when he turns out as a novice."

Keating is apparently no stranger to matters of the turf. He and his wife, Yvonne, are often spotted enjoying a day out at Galway Races in Ballybrit.

PJ laughs off illness

One of America's foremost men of letters, P J O'Rourke, has been contemplating his own mortality. Over the weekend, he revealed he had been diagnosed with a malignant haemorrhoid. "What colour bracelet does one wear for that? And what slogan is apropos?" he asks. "Perhaps that slogan can be sewn on a cover for my embarrassing little doughnut buttocks pillow."

Kate faces the Opposition

It has been just a few months since Kate Garraway's husband, the former lobbyist Derek Draper, was welcomed back into the Downing Street fold and already she is fraternising with the enemy. The comely GMTV presenter was spotted yesterday at a bar at the Tory conference in Birmingham in deep conversation with the shadow Culture Secretary, Jeremy Hunt.

An interview Hardeep wants to forget

The broadcaster Hardeep Singh Kohli is trying to put his toe-curlingly embarrassing interview with the BBC Radio DJ Les Ross behind him. Last week, Kohli aborted the interview after it became clear Ross was woefully underprepared. At one point, Ross confused Kohli's memoir about food with his Radio 4 series about the partition of India, Pakistan and Bangladesh. "I don't want to talk about it," Kohli tells me. "I think the interview speaks for itself doesn't it?"

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