Richard Ingrams’ Week: My friend Claud, and advice the high street might heed
Saturday, 4 October 2008
One of my earliest lessons in life was given me by the veteran left-wing journalist, Claud Cockburn (father of The Independent's intrepid Patrick).
"You go into this man's office," he said of a well known publisher. "Knee-high carpets. Eight telephones on the desk. You assume at once – the man is bankrupt!" At the time I would have assumed nothing of the kind. But it was flattering to be told that I shared Claud's knowledge of the world. Since then I have learnt how right he was always to be suspicious of ostentatious displays of wealth.
The bankers of old know better. I can remember as a small boy being taken to Barings Bank in Bishopsgate where my uncle was the managing director. It was a drab and gloomy place where old-fashioned clerks still sat on high stools. Some years later they moved out into a glass-fronted skyscraper and not long after that the bank went bust.
Advertising is nowadays another giveaway. Investors should have been warned when Bradford & Bingley changed its commercials from those two little bowler-hatted men to a sexy-looking model also in a bowler. It ought to have alerted them to the fact that the bank might well be in difficulties. And not only with banks. This week, amid the encircling economic gloom, there came a further blow when Marks & Spencer announced a large fall in its profits.
I couldn't help noticing that the the store was still busy advertising itself with the help of saucy young models dressed only in the skimpiest M&S underwear. But might M&S consider what connection there may be between this line of advertising and its profit margins?
Clever to make Cameron so serious
It was a little mystifying. When David Cameron first electrified the Tory
conference two years ago as a contender for the leadership, he spoke without
notes or autocue. It was such an unusual thing for one of today's
politicians to do that all the pundits applauded in amazement, and not long
afterwards Cameron was voted into the top job.
This year Cameron made a Blair-like speech full of waffle and signifying
nothing, which has been hailed almost universally as some kind of oratorical
masterpiece.
But the strange thing to me was that Cameron seemed to make no attempt to
disguise the fact that he was speaking from notes – frequently glancing down
and at times looking a little uncertain and even nervous.
You might easily have thought that Cameron had lost that wonderful flair that
won him his job in the first place. But nowadays where politics is
concerned, extreme forms of cynicism are called for.
My guess would be that behind the scenes the Tory spin doctors and PR men had
advised Cameron that it would not look good if at a time of national crisis,
he delivered a highly polished performance without notes, leading the
audience to believe that he had devoted hours to memorising his speech when
all those urgent economic issues called for his undivided attention.
Better to look more serious. more cautious and even perhaps a bit boring. If
that was their cunning strategy, all one can say, judging by the response of
the hacks, is that it worked like a dream.
'Valkyrie' offers a lesson in how charisma operates
You could say that the Church of Scientology and the Nazi party are alike in
that both movements have won the unquestioning allegiance of millions of
people thanks to the wizardry of a charismatic leader – in the one case the
failed watercolourist Adolf Hitler with his crazy schemes for world
domination, in the other the fraudulent conman L Ron Hubbard whose influence
was so powerful that even now, more than 20 years after his death, his
so-called church still attracts thousands and thousands of young adherents
all over the world.
Perhaps it is because the Germans are now more sensitive to the terrible
dangers of totalitarian movements that they take a much more critical
approach to Scientologists than we do in this country, where even some
senior policemen have given their seal of approval to the cult. There has
therefore been considerable criticism of the new film 'Valkyrie', based on
the story of the failed bomb plot against Hitler in 1944. In the film, the
leader of the conspiracy, Von Stauffenberg, is played by Hollywood actor Tom
Cruise, pictured, the best-known celebrity campaigner for the Scientology
movement. Opposition to the casting of Cruise has come most notably from Von
Stauffenberg's son.
But curiously 'A German Hero', a half-hour Radio 4 programme about the film
broadcast last Monday, failed to make a single mention of the Scientology
issue, let alone the attack from Von Stauffenberg's family.
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Copyright 2008 Independent News and Media Limited

Scientology is worse than most people realise - it has a long history of ruining lives, exploiting its followers and harassing its critics. Thankfully the true nature of this dangerous cult is being brought to people's attention. I applaud the steps taken by the German government and would encourage our government to follow suit.
Posted by James Lightfield | 05.10.08, 11:37 GMT
"20 years after his death. . .church still attracts thousands and thousands of young adherents all over the world." Why? Because it works, that's why.
"Perhaps it is because the Germans are now more sensitive" - No, it is because German's government lays hand on nearly every religious donation in Germany and Wants to Keep It That Way. Religious contributions to (choose either) Germany's two churches route through Germany's government to arrive at your selected Church (but only 2 selections). The only "sensitivity" is which box you check on the Government form. And the government Wants to Keep It That Way.
A few say otherwise, but lots of people had fun with that production and it is likely that Germany has, on the whole, benefited.
Posted by Terryeo | 05.10.08, 02:16 GMT
Good article. Just a couple of comments re:" 'Valkyrie' offers a lesson in how charisma operates"
Scientology does not still attract " thousands and thousands of young adherents all over the world". Try though they may to attract people on the streets with their fraud "stress tests" and deceptive ads that appears on every page on the internet that contains critical information about the cult, it's not working for them. The idea of Scientology attracting large numbers is part of their propaganda, what they want the media to think but statistically their numbers have fallen over the years and their efforts to attract large numbers has been hampered by the rise of media attention and internet proliferation of facts about the con game you so eloquently mention L Ron Hubbard creating in similarity to the charismatic Hitler.
I was a member of Scientology for over 18 years and it took years to recover. Your analogy of Scientology and the Nazi movement is excellent and accurate. Thanks.
Posted by Mary McConnall | 04.10.08, 23:18 GMT
You are absolutely right about the opposition to Scientology from the Germans. Scientology may not be as dangerous as National Socialism yet, but with the right action from the German government and from governments all over the world, this cult will be stopped.
Posted by number 6 | 04.10.08, 22:04 GMT
One minor correction - there are less than 100,000 Scientologists worldwide and less than 50,000 of those are active members of the Church of Scientology. In the UK (2001 census) there are less than 2,000 Scientology adherents.
Posted by Hartley Patterson | 04.10.08, 14:45 GMT
M and S must love Bojo with Sir Ian Blair keeping Sir Stuart off the front pages -I often wonder about these Marks adverts they are such a glitzy male free zone- just think if Paxo was at that coconut stall in his frillies it might assist the sales, but this "girls only" is reflecting a store for dykes ...so methinks in Finchley ..
Posted by Binky-Finchley | 04.10.08, 10:01 GMT
Happily enough, the neo-nazi cult whose Grand Führer Miscavige boxes his own staffs and executives and tries to get his cult proselytizing only some few stars who get then brainwashed and polyschizophrenic* as Tom Cruise, could very well end his life behind bars. It's not possible to escape justice forever!
Polyschizophrenic? Because indeed M. Cruise, like I did decades ago, has gone through the secret scientology level OT III, where one learns that one is parasitized by thousands of other souls inside one's body - scientologists call them "Body Thetans", supposedly influencing our lives - therefore, people are "polyschizophrenic"!
Posted by roger gonnet | 04.10.08, 05:24 GMT
It's a shame that Radio 4 failed to touch on the abuses of the dangerous, criminally convicted UFO cult that is scientology and it's celebrity schill Tom Cruise in favour of ratings and celebrity. Thankfully, there is a world wide effort to inform the public about this cult and people are listening.
Tom Cruise and scientology are very much in synch - both are on the decline.
Posted by KeeKee | 04.10.08, 04:52 GMT