http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/?service=Rss http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/dom-joly/dom-joly-angry-folk-of-weston-are-as-nothing-next-to-killer-cows-860895.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/dom-joly/dom-joly-angry-folk-of-weston-are-as-nothing-next-to-killer-cows-860895.html <p>There is uproar in Weston-super-Mare after last week's not overly complimentary column about the place. TV crews asked irate locals what they thought of Dom Joly. None of them had ever heard of me but they were furious and calling for the guillotine to be brought back. </p> Dom Joly Sun, 06 Jul 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/dylan-jones/dylan-jones-if-you-ask-me-859534.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/dylan-jones/dylan-jones-if-you-ask-me-859534.html <p> If you ask me, Giffords is probably the best circus in Britain. Theatrical, whimsical, exotic, celestial (in places) and even rather glamorous, it shows that there is still a place for the travelling circus in the 21st century. And as they're playing all over the country until the middle of September I urge you to seek them out. It is bonkers, and you will love it. In some respects, Cirque du Soleil has raised the bar in terms of what we expect from a circus these days, and having seen their &quot;Love&quot; show in Las Vegas recently, in which they re-imagine the Beatles' back catalogue in a genuinely original way, I am now a devotee. </p> Dylan Jones Sat, 05 Jul 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/will-self/will-self-psychogeography-859535.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/will-self/will-self-psychogeography-859535.html <p>For years now pressure groups such as Living Streets and the Ramblers Association have been urging the Government to produce a co-ordinated national walking strategy. With almost geological slowness a "discussion paper" has been circulated, limping from not very interested party to indifferent one; in the meantime local authorities have pushed ahead with their own walking strategies. If you feed these words into Google you'll come up with plans advanced by councils as various as Luton and Cheshire. Reading them is to stroll into a petrified forest of bureaucratic jargon, where a Sits (Sustainable Integrated Transport Strategy) sits on the rotten boughs of verbiage.</p> Will Self Sat, 05 Jul 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/the-weasel-lemon-with-a-twist-859536.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/the-weasel-lemon-with-a-twist-859536.html <p>Though better known for honeymoons than gastronomy, it was in the Sicilian cliff-top resort of Taormina that I saw one of the most remarkable foodstuffs of my entire life. It happened when Mrs W and I were holidaying there. (No, not a honeymoon.) We were participating in the evening passeggiata on the main drag Corso Umberto when I caught sight of an extraordinary fruit sitting in the window of a restaurant. Barring the size, you would have said it was a lemon. About 10 inches in length, it might have escaped from Gulliver's Brobdingnag. I was smitten. After 10 minutes peering in the window, Mrs W had to drag me away. Its impact was akin to the pineapple that prompted John Murray, the fourth Lord Dunmore, to erect a 53-foot pineapple-shaped pavilion in the grounds of Dunmore Park, Stirlingshire, in 1761. (It's still there. Indeed you can stay in the Pineapple through Landmark Trust.)</p> Columnists Sat, 05 Jul 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/john-walsh/john-walsh-btw-860505.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/john-walsh/john-walsh-btw-860505.html <p>Uh-oh. We really must be in trouble. "Sub-prime" and "credit crunch" have just entered the Oxford English Dictionary. They're Americanisms, and they're a bit weaselly ("sub-prime" means "sub-standard," not just "less than the best") but they're here to stay. Also granted full OED status is "fascinator" meaning the feathery frou-frou clamped to some ladies' heads at Ascot, "freegan" (a person who lives off discarded food) and "sleb," a contemptuous reference to celebrity. The term "bling-bling," meaning ostentatiously worn fashion jewellery, joins "jiggy," "phat" and "breakbeat" in the hip-hop lexicon. It was coined in the 1990s by the rap team Cash Money Millionaires, one of whom, BG, released a single called "Bling Bling." "I just wish I'd trademarked it" said a rueful Mr G. </p> John Walsh Sat, 05 Jul 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/richard-ingrams/richard-ingrams-week-proof-again-that-boris-is-a-poor-judge-of-character-860521.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/richard-ingrams/richard-ingrams-week-proof-again-that-boris-is-a-poor-judge-of-character-860521.html <p>Anyone with experience of the Church of England will know how difficult it is to get rid of a rogue vicar. When I looked into the matter some time ago, the principle seemed to be that he had either to preach heresy or be drunk in the pulpit to merit expulsion. </p> Richard Ingrams Sat, 05 Jul 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/david-lister/david-lister-the-week-in-arts-860522.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/david-lister/david-lister-the-week-in-arts-860522.html <p>This was a significant week for British theatre, and for that much-used phrase "colour-blind casting." On Wednesday a revival of John Osborne's Look Back in Anger opened at the Jermyn Street Theatre with black actor Jimmy Akingbola as Osborne's rebellious and angry young character Jimmy Porter. On the same night, just down the road at the Palace Theatre, a casting change in the Monty Python show Spamalot saw British-Asian actor Sanjeev Bhaskar take over as King Arthur. </p> David Lister Sat, 05 Jul 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/brian-viner/brian-viner-racket-of-today-drowns-out-slow-brilliance-of-borg-860528.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/brian-viner/brian-viner-racket-of-today-drowns-out-slow-brilliance-of-borg-860528.html <p>It is 28 years to the day since Bjorn Borg beat John McEnroe in what is surely still the most thrilling of all Wimbledon men's singles finals. Roger Federer's defeat of Rafael Nadal last year was a doozy, and the first time Federer had been taken to a fifth set in a Grand Slam final, but he completed that set in relative comfort, 6-2. </p> Brian Viner Sat, 05 Jul 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/thomas-sutcliffe/thomas-sutcliffe-no-tv-is-not-the-novel-of-today-859383.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/thomas-sutcliffe/thomas-sutcliffe-no-tv-is-not-the-novel-of-today-859383.html <p>The BBC's controller of fiction, Jane Tranter, picked a good week in which to suggest that television had supplanted the role of the novel in addressing the big social issues of the day, an argument she made in a speech to the Royal Television Society on Monday night. Not very long after she finished speaking, BBC One began transmitting Criminal Justice, Peter Moffat's ambitious five-part series about a young man who finds himself on remand for murder after a one-night stand goes badly wrong. And if the essential subject matter here wasn't startlingly original, the manner of its transmission was &ndash; stripped through every night of the week so that those hooked by the excellent opening episode didn't have to wait too long for their next fix. There have been weeks in which Tranter's jab at the established cultural hierarchies could have looked a bit unsubstantiated &ndash; but in this one, at least, she was solidly backed up by the Radio Times. </p> Thomas Sutcliffe Fri, 04 Jul 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/tracey-emin/tracey-emin-my-life-in-a-column-859866.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/tracey-emin/tracey-emin-my-life-in-a-column-859866.html <p>It's my birthday today. It's one of those days when it doesn't feel like it's my birthday. Some days in the year you wake up and everything feels tingly and special. If I'm really honest, tingly and special are not two words I would use to describe myself today. Bleak and plump seem more appropriate. </p> Tracey Emin Fri, 04 Jul 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-why-no-one-writes-poems-about-spiders-and-other-mysteries-859964.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-why-no-one-writes-poems-about-spiders-and-other-mysteries-859964.html <p>Today, another helping of Albanian proverbs. If you haven't met them before, Albanian proverbs are very different from ours. Ours are dry and common-sense. Look before you leap. Don't count your eggs. But Albanian proverbs are both allusive and elusive. They sound impressive at first, but when you think about them, they fall flat and play possum. Still, better a dead proverb than no proverb at all. Which, as it happens, is an old Albanian proverb...</p> Miles Kington Fri, 04 Jul 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-hain-passes-the-time-by-penning-new-biography-of-mandela-859997.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-hain-passes-the-time-by-penning-new-biography-of-mandela-859997.html <p>Like many of his old Labour frontbench colleagues who are no longer burdened with chauffeur-driven cars or grace-and-favour homes, Peter Hain has decided to dedicate his spare time to putting pen to paper.</p> Pandora Fri, 04 Jul 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/cooper-brown/cooper-brown-hes-out-there-859016.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/cooper-brown/cooper-brown-hes-out-there-859016.html <p>Tomorrow, I get married. Aaarrrgghh..... married ...... the Cooperman married!!!! This has got to be a bad dream. Pretty soon I'll wake up in the arms of some blonde lovely who will totter back off to the slums and everything will be all right. If it could happen to Bobby in Dallas, then why not me? </p> Cooper Brown Thu, 03 Jul 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/catherine-townsend/catherine-townsend-sleeping-around-859028.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/catherine-townsend/catherine-townsend-sleeping-around-859028.html <p>A friend recently suggested that I try Cosmic Ordering, which involves writing down your wishes on a piece of paper and waiting for the cosmos to come through.</p> Catherine Townsend Thu, 03 Jul 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-in-search-of-that-dream-team-of-crime-writersi-859046.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-in-search-of-that-dream-team-of-crime-writersi-859046.html <p>Whenever I feel a need to brush up my French, which is usually two hours before I go to France again, I dash to my shelves for a quick fix of a Maigret novel by Georges Simenon.</p> Miles Kington Thu, 03 Jul 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-former-boris-aide-begins-legal-tussle-over-reporting-of-race-remark-859107.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-former-boris-aide-begins-legal-tussle-over-reporting-of-race-remark-859107.html <p>If Boris Johnson had hoped that the recent race row at City Hall was going to be quietly swept under the carpet, he can think again. </p> Pandora Thu, 03 Jul 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/catherine-townsend/a-hrefhttpindyblogstypepadcomindependentsleepingaroundindexhtml-targetblanksleeping-around-are-women-still-afraid-to-report-rapea-843838.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/catherine-townsend/a-hrefhttpindyblogstypepadcomindependentsleepingaroundindexhtml-targetblanksleeping-around-are-women-still-afraid-to-report-rapea-843838.html Catherine Townsend Wed, 02 Jul 2008 14:02:46 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/claudia-winkleman/rebecca-front-take-it-from-me-858251.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/claudia-winkleman/rebecca-front-take-it-from-me-858251.html <p>If estate agents are to be believed, there has never been a better time to buy a bigger property. However, it's widely accepted that they're not to be believed, and unless you've been hibernating, you'll know that the only sensible reason to move house now is if you are on the run from the mafia. Generally, neither I nor my husband is au courant with trends in the property market. His first house, where I later came to join him, was in an area he described to me optimistically as up-and-coming north Islington. It turned out that the local police called it Murder Mile. And having bought at exactly the wrong time, negative equity saw us trapped for two years while the fires raged, sirens wailed and drunks from the pub next door urinated against our gate. </p> Claudia Winkleman Wed, 02 Jul 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/alex-james/alex-james-the-great-escape-858252.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/alex-james/alex-james-the-great-escape-858252.html <p>I was driving back from Scotland on Saturday night when the headline act at Glastonbury came out shouting and swearing. I caught it on the radio. It was hard to avoid on the radio, actually. Glastonbury was everywhere. The BBC was handing it out like cake at Christmas; like you were weird if you didn't want a piece. I had been listening to the gallop from William Tell all the way from Gairloch to Inverness, trying to learn exactly how it goes, but it was making me drive too fast. It sounded like the Glastonbury audience was having a good time, but Jay-Z couldn't follow Rossini for chops, and I suddenly realised I was six shades happier heading for home on my own in the people carrier than I would have been standing on stage in Shepton Wotsit.</p> Alex James Wed, 02 Jul 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/john-walsh/john-walsh-so-he-dashed-it-off-but-that-doesnt-mean-its-not-art-858283.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/john-walsh/john-walsh-so-he-dashed-it-off-but-that-doesnt-mean-its-not-art-858283.html <p>Kinetic art has a perfectly respectable pedigree: it's defined as "art or sculpture in which movement (produced by air currents, or electricity, or sound, etc) plays an essential part". What's a little out of the ordinary at Tate Britain this week is that, in Martin Creed's new "Work No. 850", the movement is produced by having athletes run, hell-for-leather, past the spectators.</p> John Walsh Wed, 02 Jul 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-a-mailorder-catalogue-brings-a-warm-glow-of-satisfaction-858288.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-a-mailorder-catalogue-brings-a-warm-glow-of-satisfaction-858288.html <p>Don't you love it when you open a magazine or newspaper, and lots of little shopping catalogues fall out? And they're all called things like Ideas Mart or Technoplace and they all advertise little gadgets which sound so wonderfully ingenious that you want them all? And yet somehow you never manage to get round to ordering any of them? </p> Miles Kington Wed, 02 Jul 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-mccain-wont-beat-obama-former-bush-aide-predicts-858352.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-mccain-wont-beat-obama-former-bush-aide-predicts-858352.html <p>It is safe to say that the former White House press spokesman, Scott McClellan, is likely to have had his name scrubbed from George W Bush's Christmas card list since the release of his memoir What Happened. Now, he has decided to twist a knife even further into the wounds of his party.</p> Pandora Wed, 02 Jul 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/john-walsh/john-walsh-tales-of-the-city-857584.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/john-walsh/john-walsh-tales-of-the-city-857584.html <p>"Would you like," they asked, "a trip to Ibiza? We're off on Sunday." My brain was a-flutter with images: the broiling Balearic sun, the huge nightclub mirrorball bouncing coins of light off the naked shoulders of cavorting 18-year-olds from Surrey, the yachts lined up in the harbour at sunset where you sip your fifth Shag On The Beach cocktail, the teeming streets of the capital thronged all evening with beautiful people, the alarming white tablet given to you by the mysterious blonde in the silk halterneck...</p> John Walsh Tue, 01 Jul 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-derren-backs-down-in-battle-of-the-mind-games-857656.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-derren-backs-down-in-battle-of-the-mind-games-857656.html <p>Raj Persaud isn't the only mind specialist facing an awkward climbdown over one of his books. Channel 4's entertaining "psychological illusionist" Derren Brown is also under the cosh over his last tome Tricks of the Mind.</p> Pandora Tue, 01 Jul 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-the-english-language-is-a-slippery-.htmlptive-thing-857674.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-the-english-language-is-a-slippery-.htmlptive-thing-857674.html <p>In the days when Communism was flourishing, there used to be countries that gloried in names like "The People's Democratic Republic of Outer Manganesia". We loved this in the West, because it gave us great pleasure to point out that none of them was a republic, nor the people's anything, nor by any stretch of the word democratic. </p> Miles Kington Tue, 01 Jul 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/thomas-sutcliffe/thomas-sutcliffe-the-perilous-joys-of-middleaged-sex-857675.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/thomas-sutcliffe/thomas-sutcliffe-the-perilous-joys-of-middleaged-sex-857675.html <p>Do you remember herpes? You'll need to be of a certain age to conjure the particular memory I have in mind, which is of the spasm of sexual anxiety that went round when the disease first really made it into the public consciousness, after the incidence of infections leapt in America. Yikes, I can remember thinking. Weeping sores (routinely described as "agonising"), no prospect of a cure, the perpetual moral duty, ever after, to inform prospective sexual partners of your potentially hazardous condition. </p> Thomas Sutcliffe Tue, 01 Jul 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/rebecca-tyrrel/rebecca-tyrrel-days-like-those-856797.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/rebecca-tyrrel/rebecca-tyrrel-days-like-those-856797.html <p>It is a shameful thing to confess, but until recently a form of apartheid had been operating in this house. Matthew did, I know, feel terrible about it. He was racked with self-disgust. "I know, I know, and am racked with self-disgust," he said, "especially with Mandela in town. But I just can't help it."</p> Rebecca Tyrrel Mon, 30 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-off-with-his-head-exmayor-is-banished-to-the-tower-856901.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-off-with-his-head-exmayor-is-banished-to-the-tower-856901.html <p>Industrious as always, Ken Livingstone wasted no time in finding employment after leaving City Hall, eagerly signing up with two glitzy after-dinner-speaking agents. How disappointing, then, to find that it's not quite the glamorous gig he had expected it to be.</p> Pandora Mon, 30 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-it-may-never-happen-say-that-once-more-and-it-will-856919.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-it-may-never-happen-say-that-once-more-and-it-will-856919.html <p>(25 June 1996) I have had a gratifying response to my request for entries for "The Ten Most Annoying Remarks In Daily Life" competition. Gratifying, in that some people actually sent in entries, because if they had not sent them in, I would have had to make them up or even make the whole competition up, as perhaps I may have done.</p> Miles Kington Mon, 30 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/dom-joly/dom-joly-tears-before-bedtime-in-westonnotsosupermare-to-shoot-a-golf-dvd-856479.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/dom-joly/dom-joly-tears-before-bedtime-in-westonnotsosupermare-to-shoot-a-golf-dvd-856479.html <p>Having been away filming in somewhere glamorous like Nicaragua, it's always grounding to return to the UK. I was straight off the plane and down to Weston-super-Mare for a couple of days' filming for a golf DVD I'm making. I have a particular aversion to British seaside towns &ndash; we just can't seem to get them right. They're either places like Padstow that have been totally taken over by a TV chef and turned into a personality-based marketing opportunity or they're the windswept, penny-arcade, piss-stinking destinations of the desperate. Weston-super-Mare is one of the latter. </p> Dom Joly Sun, 29 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/dylan-jones/dylan-jones-if-you-ask-me-855000.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/dylan-jones/dylan-jones-if-you-ask-me-855000.html <p>If you ask me, "Blue and Green" by Van Morrison is as good a blues record as you're likely to hear, or indeed you deserve to hear, this century. It is, quite simply &ndash; in at least two senses of the word &ndash; brilliant, and has certainly restored my faith in the bitter, curmudgeonly old cove. </p> Dylan Jones Sat, 28 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/will-self/will-self-psychogeography--down-and-out-in-beverly-hills-855002.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/will-self/will-self-psychogeography--down-and-out-in-beverly-hills-855002.html <p>Nobody much talks about the homeless in Los Angeles. My hunch is that there's a kind of collective denial: in this, the most illimitable &ndash; and yet curiously individuated &ndash; of megalopolises, the homeowners tend to assume that being without one can't be that bad; after all, the weather's always good &ndash; there's benches, and 70-odd miles of white sand beach. The homeless &ndash; they can just hang out, then stroll the boulevards; while those who're saddled with the upkeep of mile after mile of Tudor revival, Spanish Mission, and Art Deco have to feel the acid burning through their duodenums, while the oil price hikes, and they sit, marooned, for hour after hour on the Harbour Freeway.</p> Will Self Sat, 28 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/the-weasel-londonrsquos-larder-855005.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/the-weasel-londonrsquos-larder-855005.html <p>Some may think that the term "Proustian" is over-employed these days, not least by this column, but once again I have to call on old Marcel for le mot juste. I can recall no volume that has had such a powerful Proustian effect on me as the new photo book Covent Garden by Clive Boursnell (Francis Lincoln, &pound;20). "New" might not be quite the right word here, for the transporting images were captured between 1968 and 1974, when the market was still full of tumult and tomatoes, and forgotten by Boursnell for 30-odd years. I worked on the fringe of the market for some of this period. From the moment I opened the book, I was hurtled &ndash; whoosh! &ndash; back across the decades. My head filled with the smell &ndash; a mixture of ancient cabbage, fresh salad, Players No.6 and diesel exhaust &ndash; of the Piazza. I encountered this olfactory cocktail as I made my way, usually late, often a little the worse for wear, to my place of employment, a small publishers on Endell Street.</p> Columnists Sat, 28 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/john-walsh/john-walsh-btw-856090.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/john-walsh/john-walsh-btw-856090.html <p>* This week's award for faultless logic goes to Ms Petra Faile, a Dutch housewife who, like thousands of her countrymen, believes the world will end in 2012. They're devotees of the Mayan civilisation that flourished from AD300 to 900, whose calendar ends on 21 December 2012. Many Dutch people are building bunkers and boats while waiting for the apocalypse. But which event will destroy Holland? Petra believes immigration will trigger it. "In another four years it will be all over," she says. "They keep letting people in, and then we have to build more houses, which makes the Netherlands even heavier. The country will sink even lower, which will make the flooding worse. But maybe it's not so bad that the Netherlands will be destroyed. I don't like it here any more."</p> John Walsh Sat, 28 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/richard-ingrams/richard-ingrams-week-you-try-challenging-an-editor-armed-with-a-writ-856105.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/richard-ingrams/richard-ingrams-week-you-try-challenging-an-editor-armed-with-a-writ-856105.html <p>"It is utterly impossible," said William Hazlitt, "to persuade an editor that he is a nobody." That self-importance helps to explain why journalists are much more likely to resort to law than politicians.</p> Richard Ingrams Sat, 28 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/david-lister/david-lister-the-week-in-arts-856106.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/david-lister/david-lister-the-week-in-arts-856106.html <p>Congratulations to that excellent conductor Sir Mark Elder. The congratulations are not just for his recent knighthood, though that is, of course, well deserved. What left an even more lasting impression on me was a short interview he gave this week in The Independent about a concert he was conducting for the City of London Festival at St Paul's Cathedral. </p> David Lister Sat, 28 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/thomas-sutcliffe/thomas-sutcliffe-if-only-theyd-listened-to-me-854746.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/thomas-sutcliffe/thomas-sutcliffe-if-only-theyd-listened-to-me-854746.html <p>Artists and writers justifiably hate it when critics review the work they wished they'd seen, rather than the one they actually did. It's understandable, really. Just imagine it. You spend months carefully crafting a table and then you open the paper to find that someone is moaning that the seat is too high for comfort and there are no arm rests. "It's not meant to be a chair!" you would shriek, "It's supposed to be a bloody table!" And one of the things that aggravates the artist's irritation, rubbing salt into the paper cut, is the sense that critics are betraying themselves at such moments &ndash; revealing their envy for the act of creation. </p> Thomas Sutcliffe Fri, 27 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/tracey-emin/tracey-emin-my-life-in-a-column-855289.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/tracey-emin/tracey-emin-my-life-in-a-column-855289.html <p>Today, the pressure was off. But now it's back on again. I never seem to have enough time, and I really feel that this is what affects my happiness: pleasure and time. </p> Tracey Emin Fri, 27 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-a-challenging-assignment-for-the-grand-vizier-of-pr-855381.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-a-challenging-assignment-for-the-grand-vizier-of-pr-855381.html <p>I made one of my rare trips to London the other day and was delighted to bump into my old friend Adrian Wardour-Street, doyen of public relations operators.</p> Miles Kington Fri, 27 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/powells-rivers-of-blood-is-named-top-political-speech-855424.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/powells-rivers-of-blood-is-named-top-political-speech-855424.html <p>Exclusive interviews with Gordon Brown and innumerable mentions in the daily press: it has been a glittering start for Total Politics, the new parliamentary rag on the block. </p> Pandora Fri, 27 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/cooper-brown/cooper-brown-hes-out-there-854184.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/cooper-brown/cooper-brown-hes-out-there-854184.html <p>First, the good news. Malik, the man who went MIA on my surprise stag in Prague, has turned up. He'd been in a police cell in a suburb of the city and had to share it with a Swiss dude who'd taken a permanently mind-altering amount of hallucinogenics on a weekend away with his grandparents. Apparently the guy spent the whole time pretending to be a chicken and was a stickler for crapping on the cell floor. Malik, understandably, was not in the best of shapes, and has probably reassessed his views on drinking on airplanes. Who said prison doesn't work? </p> Cooper Brown Thu, 26 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/catherine-townsend/catherine-townsend-sleeping-around-854194.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/catherine-townsend/catherine-townsend-sleeping-around-854194.html <p>This week, I had my first full-blown anxiety attack, while naked. It happened when I was sleeping next to Charles, a British architect who I've been friendly with for almost a year. He's recently moved back to London, and we've started seeing each other. </p> Catherine Townsend Thu, 26 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-the-violent-code-of-countryside-conduct-revealed-854282.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-the-violent-code-of-countryside-conduct-revealed-854282.html <p>When townspeople go into the country, they are often unaware of the countryside code. People who go and live in the country are usually unaware of it too. In fact, many people who have lived in the country all their lives often have no idea how to behave either. So today I have asked an expert in country living to answer everyone's queries and worries about manners and etiquette in the sticks. </p> Miles Kington Thu, 26 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/news/media/iindependenti-humourist-kington-has-the-last-laugh-854329.html http://www.independent.co.uk/news/media/iindependenti-humourist-kington-has-the-last-laugh-854329.html <p> Miles Kington, the humourist, broadcaster, musician and Independent columnist who died in January, once observed that &ldquo;whenever I attend someone&rsquo;s memorial service, I am always struck by one notable absence: the late lamented himself&rdquo;. </p> Media Thu, 26 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-in-the-club-widdecombe-is-pinup-for-tory-feminists-854332.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-in-the-club-widdecombe-is-pinup-for-tory-feminists-854332.html <p>Ann Widdecombe will doubtless make an unusual poster girl for women's lib but, on this particular occasion, there may be no choice. Yes, that's right ladies &ndash; Ann has done it for the girls.</p> Pandora Thu, 26 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/brian-viner/brian-viner-country-life-853289.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/brian-viner/brian-viner-country-life-853289.html <p>King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia has almost certainly never been to north Herefordshire, but if ever he does pass through he's assured of a warm welcome. In fact, he and his favourite two wives can have both of our holiday cottages for the night, and a cream tea featuring Jane's delectable home-made strawberry jam, in recognition of his efforts to force down the price of oil.</p> Brian Viner Wed, 25 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/claudia-winkleman/claudia-winkleman-take-it-from-me-853417.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/claudia-winkleman/claudia-winkleman-take-it-from-me-853417.html <p>"You won't want to wear anything that chafes. That's all I'm saying," Lucy explained last Sunday. She wasn't talking about sex &ndash; and she wasn't talking about running the marathon. Actually, if she ever even suggests we consider running the marathon, I will know that she no longer knows me. I will have to pretend I have moved to another continent so she doesn't call to suggest we go hiking (hello?), lip-gloss buying (people who wear the shiny stuff actually scare me &ndash; watch them closely, these girls don't eat or talk or wear their hair down) or snowboarding (I mean, really &ndash; I'm Jewish, for God's sake). </p> Claudia Winkleman Wed, 25 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/alex-james/alex-james-the-great-escape-853418.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/alex-james/alex-james-the-great-escape-853418.html <p>I hadn't really planned a holiday this summer. I'm a barnacle. All farmers are, I think. I'm as riveted now by what is happening on the farm as I used to be by what goes on in Manhattan when all the reasonable people have gone to bed and only the fabulous are still standing. Nature unfolding at my fingertips is as gripping, unmissable and every bit as fleeting and ruthless as a perpetual A-list knees-up.</p> Alex James Wed, 25 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-a-priceless-fragment-of-railway-heritage-preserved-853489.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-a-priceless-fragment-of-railway-heritage-preserved-853489.html <p><i>I recently told you that I was a great collector of one of the last forms of living verse, motorway ballads. To my amazement, I met an old man on a train the other day, who said that there were plenty of railway ballads as well. Like what ? I said. Like this one, he said, and he told me the following bit of doggerel...</i> </p> Miles Kington Wed, 25 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-brown-beware-cherie-flirts-with-further-memoirs-853529.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-brown-beware-cherie-flirts-with-further-memoirs-853529.html <p>Cherie Blair's autobiography has met with mixed reaction: en masse serialisation, chart-topping sales and calls for her to resign. Less varied were the critics' views: "starkly misjudged" was one verdict, "cringe-making" another, and "breathtakingly narcissistic" a third.</p> Pandora Wed, 25 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/john-walsh/john-walsh-tales-of-the-city-852790.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/john-walsh/john-walsh-tales-of-the-city-852790.html <p>Are we about to see a spate of match-fixing at Wimbledon? Last month, a report commissioned by tennis's ruling bodies claimed "criminal elements and possibly organised gangs" were preparing to corrupt and/or bribe players and officials. Should we brace ourselves for a fusillade of deliberate double-faults, a tsunami of comically inept passing shots, a flood of fatuously over-pitched lobs and over-enthusiastic smashes? (And if the officials have been bribed as well, shall we see an umpire confidently declaring a ball "out" when it's six inches inside the baseline, a state of affairs about which the stroke player is happy, being in receipt of a bribe?) </p> John Walsh Tue, 24 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-floyds-man-lets-off-steam-852835.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-floyds-man-lets-off-steam-852835.html <p>Keith Floyd has long had a turbulent relationship with his manager Stan Green. Not for much longer, it would seem, as the two appear determined to go their separate ways.</p> Pandora Tue, 24 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-the-day-a-stag-party-rowed-shore-in-the-south-seas-852860.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-the-day-a-stag-party-rowed-shore-in-the-south-seas-852860.html <p>(10 August 2004) Today I bring you an adventure story from the South Seas, a tale of ancient derring-do, but with a modern twist! </p> Miles Kington Tue, 24 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/thomas-sutcliffe/thomas-sutcliffe-whats-wrong-if-these-cameras-stop-crime-852861.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/thomas-sutcliffe/thomas-sutcliffe-whats-wrong-if-these-cameras-stop-crime-852861.html <p>The difference between a police state and a well policed one is notoriously blurry and itself requires careful policing. It's all too easy for the pursuit of the latter to edge, slowly and almost imperceptibly, into the creation of the former. But there are times when it's worth remembering that there is actually a difference &ndash; and that a well-policed state has quite a lot of things going for it.</p> Thomas Sutcliffe Tue, 24 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/rebecca-tyrrel/rebecca-tyrrel-days-like-those-852268.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/rebecca-tyrrel/rebecca-tyrrel-days-like-those-852268.html <p>Two days I'd been away, sorting out what Matthew refers to as "the very barest of essentials" (Sky dish with complete package) for our Dorset cottage. I returned to what I often return to. Matthew with his head in hands, psychotically, slowly, rocking to and fro. The speed of the rocking was a tiny bit slower than I was used to, but you'd have to have been married to a person for 17 years to have noticed the difference. I put it down to pangs. Matthew has just given up smoking, drinking and eating.</p> Rebecca Tyrrel Mon, 23 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-something-very-scary-is-waiting-to-take-over-the-earth-852360.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-something-very-scary-is-waiting-to-take-over-the-earth-852360.html <p>(2 Sept 2003) Occasionally, my 14-year-old son and I watch spoof horror films together. This is because he really prefers full-strength horror films, so he likes to relax once in a while with something a little weaker. In my case, it's because I can't take full-strength horror films, and spoof horror is about as horrible as I like anything. His mild is my scary. </p> Miles Kington Mon, 23 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-sally-spills-the-beans-on-new-labour-jobs-raffle-852421.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-sally-spills-the-beans-on-new-labour-jobs-raffle-852421.html Pandora Mon, 23 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-sally-spills-the-beans-on-new-labour-jobs-raffle-852914.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-sally-spills-the-beans-on-new-labour-jobs-raffle-852914.html <p><b>Kevin's new passion is collecting Insects</b></p> Pandora Mon, 23 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/dom-joly/dom-joly-fated-not-to-be-wild-village-life-in-modern-britain-851925.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/dom-joly/dom-joly-fated-not-to-be-wild-village-life-in-modern-britain-851925.html <p>It's that time of year again: the village fete is upon us. Frantic telephone calls are exchanged: "Who is doing the tombola? Is Mrs Miggins bringing a cake?" It's a fun event that my kids enjoy and my dogs attempt to, until one of them snaffles said Mrs Miggins's cake and they have to be taken home in disgrace. </p> Dom Joly Sun, 22 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/dylan-jones/dylan-jones-if-you-ask-me-850883.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/dylan-jones/dylan-jones-if-you-ask-me-850883.html <p>If you ask me Keith Waterhouse can lay claim to inventing the art of identifying the modern social stereotype. Others might disagree, of course. Some might say that Osbert Lancaster deserves the mantle, although he really only did houses. Some might say we should look no further than Tom Wolfe, but then he took the art and turned it into a genre on a much grander, more resonant level.</p> Dylan Jones Sat, 21 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/will-self/will-self--hebridean-interlude-850886.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/will-self/will-self--hebridean-interlude-850886.html <p>For the second year we returned to Jura in the Hebrides for summer half-term. The weather was, frankly, absurd: sunshine and 70-degree heat from dawn to dusk &ndash; and so far north that's a very long, very bright day. Sea mist lay on the sound, making of the mainland another floating island. Local people said the fine weather had lasted three weeks; it was so dry that the annual Isle of Jura Fell Race was completed at a brisk clip-clop by the ungulate fell runners, and the winning time of three hours and seven minutes (by Robb Jebb of Bingley), was just shy of the record. Madness! For going up and down seven peaks, 16 miles and 1,500 feet. Not our style: we arrived two days after the race to take up residency of Jura House, learning only later that the runners who'd been staying previously, eschewed its considerable comforts for a trip to the wild west of the island, where they trained by living solely on limpets and sleeping on beds of bracken and deer ticks for several nights.</p> Will Self Sat, 21 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/the-weasel-the-white-stuff-850887.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/the-weasel-the-white-stuff-850887.html <p>Going by appearances, few would associate Mrs W with the cocaine trade. Yet this paradigm of middle-class rectitude recently attracted attention in a south London pharmacy by purchasing significant quantities of a substance commonly associated with the purveyors of jazz talc. In case the Met feel urged to pay a surprise visit to Weasel Villas with a battering ram, I should explain that her acquisition was associated with our ongoing researches into the consumption of wild plants. The plant in question was not Erythroxylum coca, found on the eastern slopes of the Andes, but Sambucus nigra, found pretty much everywhere in the UK. For the past three weeks, this small deciduous tree has advertised its presence with a gaudy display of creamy-white blooms and an olfactory trumpeting of a heady aroma variously described as "almost Oriental" and "muscat-like". These are the flowers of the elder, for which, as Richard Mabey points out in his book Food for Free, "there are probably more uses than any other species of blossom".</p> Columnists Sat, 21 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/john-walsh/john-walsh-btw-851608.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/john-walsh/john-walsh-btw-851608.html <p>Local politics doesn't inspire terribly strong emotions, does it? Last week's mayoral elections in the tiny farming village of Pilsbury, North Dakota (population: 11) were considered a bit of a fiasco when no one at all turned up to vote, not even the candidates. "Everybody has a job and they are busy," explained the current mayor, Darrel Brudevold, "It just worked out that nobody seemed to go to the polls." Meanwhile, in the Romanian town of Voinesti, residents re-elected the popular Neculai Ivascu, 57, as their mayor, despite the fact he died of liver failure just after voting began. So unpopular was his opponent that Neculai still won by a margin of 23 votes. "I know he died but I don't want change," one supporter told Romanian television. Now that's what I call conservatism.</p> John Walsh Sat, 21 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/richard-ingrams/richard-ingrams-week-surely-a-case-for-staying-at-home-with-the-children-851639.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/richard-ingrams/richard-ingrams-week-surely-a-case-for-staying-at-home-with-the-children-851639.html <p>Delving into the new archive of The Times, Matthew Parris has unearthed what he thinks is that paper's first-ever profile of the former Tory leader Margaret Thatcher, headed "Minister with enough time for family commitments". Published in 1961, two years after Thatcher made her maiden speech in Parliament, The Times's profile was complimentary and supportive: "Often it is said that for women, family life and a political career are incompatible. Mrs Thatcher's progress demonstrates that this is not so."</p> Richard Ingrams Sat, 21 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/david-lister/david-lister-the-week-in-arts-851640.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/david-lister/david-lister-the-week-in-arts-851640.html <p>I have not touched on the issue of ticket prices for a while, even though I think it remains a key factor in encouraging or discouraging access to the arts. But now two things, one national, one local, have made it a live issue again.</p> David Lister Sat, 21 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/brian-viner/brian-viner-tiger-has-a-bad-knee-the-goose-foot-in-mouth-851656.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/brian-viner/brian-viner-tiger-has-a-bad-knee-the-goose-foot-in-mouth-851656.html <p>Winston Churchill once described golf as "a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose". Had the great man lived to see the best of another kind of great man, he might have reconsidered. In winning the US Open at Torrey Pines, Tiger Woods deployed the 15 weapons at his disposal &ndash; 14 of them in his bag and one of them, his preternatural willpower, in his head &ndash; as effectively as Churchill's hero, Henry V, used his longbowmen at Agincourt.</p> Brian Viner Sat, 21 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/tracey-emin/tracey-emin-my-life-in-a-column-850934.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/tracey-emin/tracey-emin-my-life-in-a-column-850934.html <p>I'm in Florence, lying by a pool in the gardens of a hotel that used to be a palace. The pool is very beautiful with greeny, grey, bluey water that's fresh and soft to the skin. I'm surrounded by trees that have been planted in a man-made, majestic way. Everything has a look of calm and serenity. The sun is hot and beating down on me. </p> Tracey Emin Fri, 20 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-the-decade-when-all-good-things-came-in-fours-850968.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-the-decade-when-all-good-things-came-in-fours-850968.html <p>Why do people go on about the Sixties? Why do people go on about the Sixties? Well, tell me, why do people go on and on about the Sixties? I'll tell you why people go on and on about the Sixties. It's because they've just written a book about the Sixties, and they want people to buy it.</p> Miles Kington Fri, 20 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-roux-with-a-view-851035.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-roux-with-a-view-851035.html <p>Might another Tube ban be on the menu? Michel Roux Jnr certainly hopes so. As head chef at the Michelin-starred Le Gavroche restaurant in London, Roux must be used to dining in rather more elegant surroundings. </p> Pandora Fri, 20 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/cooper-brown/cooper-brown-hes-out-there-849912.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/cooper-brown/cooper-brown-hes-out-there-849912.html <p>Back from Prague. Finally. Man, what a crazy five days. Victoria went mental when I got back as she thought we were only going for two nights. In my defence, I didn't have a clue &ndash; it was a surprise stag &ndash; but this kind of logic never impresses chicks, especially hormonal, pre-marital ones. </p> Cooper Brown Thu, 19 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-theres-fun-to-be-had-exploring-secondhand-bookshops-849942.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-theres-fun-to-be-had-exploring-secondhand-bookshops-849942.html <p>The other day I went into my local second-hand bookshop in the country and found it had been hijacked. Gone were the old occupants &ndash; two scholarly gentlemen who seemed to be boarding-school masters of a bygone age, and who sold you books as if they were homework and you were a moderately promising pupil &ndash; and in their place were two elegant and attractive middle-aged ladies who were busy unpacking books.</p> Miles Kington Thu, 19 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-split-loyalties-for-timpson-as-daddy-takes-on-tories-850008.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-split-loyalties-for-timpson-as-daddy-takes-on-tories-850008.html <p>Pity Commons new boy Edward Timpson who, only weeks into his job, is having to toe the party line at the risk of incurring familial wrath.</p> Pandora Thu, 19 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/alex-james/alex-james-the-great-escape-849085.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/alex-james/alex-james-the-great-escape-849085.html <p>The outdoor shower exploded today. It suddenly became a fountain. We watched it for a while, then I switched it all off at the isolator, to the dismay of the children. "Why's there a fountain? What's a gasket? Where's the fountain gone?" And it occurred to me again, as a tank full of hot water cascaded down the playroom windows, that at least when nothing worked, things were simple. When nothing worked, there was nothing to go wrong.</p> Alex James Wed, 18 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/claudia-winkleman/claudia-winkleman-take-it-from-me-849087.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/claudia-winkleman/claudia-winkleman-take-it-from-me-849087.html <p>Now, embarrassing though this may be (embarrassing that I even had an opinion, and quite a strong one at that), I was always a Team Angelina kind of girl. Sure, I never wore the T-shirt (they were for 14-year-olds), and I didn't make a song and dance about it, but the bottom line is that Jennifer Aniston doesn't seem that fascinating. </p> Claudia Winkleman Wed, 18 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-toss-me-a-raw-concept-and-well-chew-over-a-name-for-it-849172.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-toss-me-a-raw-concept-and-well-chew-over-a-name-for-it-849172.html <p>Language was invented so that people could communicate. I think we'd all agree on that. </p> Miles Kington Wed, 18 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-vauxhalls-dancing-queen-849219.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-vauxhalls-dancing-queen-849219.html <p>Morris dancers of Vauxhall exhale now &ndash; your local MP is fighting for you. Kate Hoey has never been the most conventional of Labour MPs, what with her pro-hunting credentials and now a City Hall job alongside Boris Johnson. Still, her latest move is a curious one even by those standards. </p> Pandora Wed, 18 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/boyd-tonkin-tales-of-the-city-848447.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/boyd-tonkin-tales-of-the-city-848447.html <p>With a dollop of Lily Savage and maybe just a dash of Cherie Blair, Richard Cant's transformation of Thersites into a Scouse drag duchess stole a fistful of scenes when the Cheek by Jowl company mounted Troilus and Cressida at the Barbican. In Shakespeare's darkest satire, Thersites dares to voice the toxic truth about a society of gruesome spectacles where celebrity matings and political spin conspire with the perpetual threat of slaughter. "Lechery, lechery; still, wars and lechery," he snarls. "Nothing else holds fashion." </p> Columnists Tue, 17 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-lembit-looks-for-star-comfort-848498.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-lembit-looks-for-star-comfort-848498.html <p>Lembit Opik's encounter with Piers Morgan for GQ magazine was, by common consent, a most unfortunate one for the Liberal Democrat MP. Among the highlights of the t&#234;te-&#224;-t&#234;te was Opik's potentially embarrassing description of his Cheeky Girl fiancée sharing a bed with her sister. "Liberalism is not just something I put on a ballot paper," he declared.</p> Pandora Tue, 17 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-batten-down-the-hatches-ndash-gods-about-to-have-a-kip-848520.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-batten-down-the-hatches-ndash-gods-about-to-have-a-kip-848520.html <p>(12 August 1993) My day tends to last about 1,000 years of Earth time, so I got up this morning at about ... oh, I don't know, somewhere in the ninth century AD, your time. It's been a long day and I'm tired. Of course, when you are God, you can save time as well. I mean, many human beings spend a lot of their lives trying to explain the origin of things, and the nature of the universe, and whether God exists or not, and I don't have to do any of that. Because I know it all already! </p> Miles Kington Tue, 17 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/rebecca-tyrrel/rebecca-tyrrel-days-like-those-847721.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/rebecca-tyrrel/rebecca-tyrrel-days-like-those-847721.html <p>Our new, rented, rural retreat has caused Matthew to take on an entirely new facial expression. Not all the time, just whenever I mention the problem of the kitchen table. "Oh for God's sake, not that bloody table again," he says, scrunching up his eyes, jutting his lower teeth out, gyrating his jaw and bringing his forehead down to meet his clenched fist so that he looks like Bruce Forsyth on The Generation Game.</p> Rebecca Tyrrel Mon, 16 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/richard-ingrams/richard-ingrams-wed-vote-with-our-feet-if-the-eu-gave-us-half-a-chance-847904.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/richard-ingrams/richard-ingrams-wed-vote-with-our-feet-if-the-eu-gave-us-half-a-chance-847904.html <p>The reason that, unlike the Irish, we didn't have a referendum on the Lisbon Treaty, was that the Government knew perfectly well that it would return an overwhelming no vote just as the Irish have done. And the reason for that is that people have become more and more aware that many of the unpleasant changes that are happening in this country have their origins in Brussels and, further, that there is not much any of us can do about it. </p> Richard Ingrams Mon, 16 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-mixing-some-freudian-thought-into-a-kitchensink-drama-847905.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-mixing-some-freudian-thought-into-a-kitchensink-drama-847905.html <p>(5 August 1992) Max Steinling is a kitchen psychologist. He is, as far as he knows, the only person in the world who studies patterns of behaviour peculiar to the kitchen. And does he find much Freudian food for thought? </p> Miles Kington Mon, 16 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-in-step-with-new-labour-847913.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-in-step-with-new-labour-847913.html <p>Tessa Jowell was among the guests who attended last week's Rock 'n' Roll Circus fundraising gala at the Roundhouse in Camden, north London.</p> Pandora Mon, 16 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/dom-joly/dom-joly-skiing-down-a-volcano-has-a-flaw-theres-no-snow-847344.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/dom-joly/dom-joly-skiing-down-a-volcano-has-a-flaw-theres-no-snow-847344.html <p>As I continue my travels around Nicaragua, things get weirder and weirder. It's a problem when the people in a production team plan a trip from London without actually visiting the destination for a recce &ndash; things get slightly lost in the translation. For instance, someone "read" that there was an active volcano just outside the old capital of Le&#243;n, whose loose ash slopes could be snowboarded down. This was suggested to me as an option and, being a bit dumb, I agreed. </p> Dom Joly Sun, 15 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/dylan-jones/dylan-jones-if-you-ask-me-845826.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/dylan-jones/dylan-jones-if-you-ask-me-845826.html <p>If you ask me the razor clam is the only thing to eat right now (it's certainly the only mollusc to eat right now). Not exclusively of course, and obviously in moderation, and probably not for breakfast &ndash; not unless you're going for a late brunch at Scott's, which as you're asking is actually the right and proper place to eat them &ndash; but you get my drift. The razor clam, funny little thing that it is, is the funky foodstuff du jour.</p> Dylan Jones Sat, 14 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/the-weasel-bitter-memories-845827.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/the-weasel-bitter-memories-845827.html <p>What better than an aperitif to introduce this magazine's summer banquet? But before anyone gets excited, I feel obliged to point out that you probably won't like it. Though eagerly consumed in a few spots around the world, we don't care for this potent Italian bracer in the UK. Dark brown in colour, somewhat similar in appearance to the liquid that leaches from ancient vegetables forgotten in the larder, it has an aggressive bitterness that does not chime with the British palate. Mostly, it is regarded here as a kill-or-cure hangover remedy, though there are a few enthusiasts who take it onboard for pleasure and, just possibly, as a hangover cure as well. One is Fergus Henderson, the genial chef-patron of St John restaurant.</p> Columnists Sat, 14 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/will-self/will-self-psychogeography-845829.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/will-self/will-self-psychogeography-845829.html <p>Personally, I'm sad to see her go, but I'm astounded by how little public attention the departure of our reigning monarch from these shores has received. Perhaps it's something to do with the credit crunch and rising interest rates? So geared to the prayer wheel of the property market has the British collective psyche become that if the market stalls we can think of little else, and when house prices start falling you can chop the arms off the average homeowner, while he or she contemplates your bloody hatchet with Buddhist detachment, only muttering, "But they said buy-to-let would be a sure-fire investment..."</p> Will Self Sat, 14 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/david-lister/david-lister-music-belongs-to-everyone-ndash-even-politicians-846965.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/david-lister/david-lister-music-belongs-to-everyone-ndash-even-politicians-846965.html <p>Poor old John McCain. His musical taste has been getting him into trouble. It's not that he doesn't like the right artists; they just don't like him.</p> David Lister Sat, 14 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/brian-viner/brian-viner-trouble-in-toytown-as-sporting-gods-play-846974.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/brian-viner/brian-viner-trouble-in-toytown-as-sporting-gods-play-846974.html <p> On Monday afternoon, I motored through the Cotswolds &ndash; one never drives through the Cotswolds, only motors &ndash; with a smile on my lips and a song in my heart. It was a glorious day, the kind of still, summer's day of which P G Wodehouse wrote that one could hear the roar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadow. </p> Brian Viner Sat, 14 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/thomas-sutcliffe/thomas-sutcliffe-why-tv-must-look-to-its-past-846071.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/thomas-sutcliffe/thomas-sutcliffe-why-tv-must-look-to-its-past-846071.html <p> Good news this week for anyone who thinks that old television should be a bit more accessible than it usually is &ndash; one bit of good news being right on the doorstep and the other bit a little further down the road. </p> Thomas Sutcliffe Fri, 13 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/tracey-emin/tracey-emin-my-life-in-a-column-846191.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/tracey-emin/tracey-emin-my-life-in-a-column-846191.html <p>This week I have been driving up and down and around and all over the South Downs. I have decided that out of all of my minuscule driving experience, the road that heads from the M2 towards Dover, and then up and over to Folkestone, could possibly be one of the loveliest driving experiences in the world. The road, all smooth and creamy, winds around and up and down and you have a really good sense that you are going somewhere. I had the roof down, the music playing at a very high level, the sun was turning my forehead into a very hard piece of brown leather, but nevertheless the whole experience, as I made my way to Folkestone, felt extraordinarily brilliant.</p> Tracey Emin Fri, 13 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-how-to-get-the-most-out-of-churches-pubs-and-crop-circles-846270.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-how-to-get-the-most-out-of-churches-pubs-and-crop-circles-846270.html <p>(3 June 1992) Whether you are a foreign visitor or weekend motorist, you will find your experience of the British countryside enriched by having the correct guide with you. Here is a dip into the many volumes that now abound. </p> Miles Kington Fri, 13 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/brian-viner/brian-viner-elect-a-leader-who-doesnt-split-infinitives-846271.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/brian-viner/brian-viner-elect-a-leader-who-doesnt-split-infinitives-846271.html <p>There are several sound reasons to despise the TV commercial launched this week by the Republican presidential candidate John McCain in the hope of undermining his Democratic counterpart, Barack Obama. The ad shows Obama seemingly looking sympathetically at a picture of the Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and the accompanying message reads: "Is it OK to Unconditionally Meet With Anti-American Foreign Leaders? Elect a Leader With Good Judgment."</p> Brian Viner Fri, 13 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-every-problem-is-actually-a-solution-in-disguise-845066.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-every-problem-is-actually-a-solution-in-disguise-845066.html <p>(3 june 1991) Professor Halbert Dagstrom is the head of the Reverse Logic Department at Milton Keynes University. It is the only reverse logic department in any British university. He thinks it may be the only one in the world. This does not depress him. He is a man who likes to be ahead of the field. But what exactly is reverse logic? </p> Miles Kington Thu, 12 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/cooper-brown/cooper-brown-hes-out-there-845084.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/cooper-brown/cooper-brown-hes-out-there-845084.html <p>It was a total surprise ... something quite hard to pull on the old Coopster. I'm kicking back in the Cooperdome when the doorbell rings. I amble over to the door to find Ben in a state of some excitement. He says that there is something wrong with Victoria, she's in hospital and I have to come with him right now. I go downstairs with him and we get into his Bentley and burn off. </p> Cooper Brown Thu, 12 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/catherine-townsend/catherine-townsend-sleeping-around-845098.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/catherine-townsend/catherine-townsend-sleeping-around-845098.html <p> I had always thought I would love two men fighting over me. Until it happened, that is. My evening started at a Hedge Fund Fight Nite, a boxing event in aid of the charity Operation Smile. The room was full of City boys lacing up their gloves, and I was seated close enough to the ring to feel the blood spatters. </p> Catherine Townsend Thu, 12 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-maccas-a-man-on-the-run-845137.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/pandora/pandora-maccas-a-man-on-the-run-845137.html <p>Sir Paul McCartney attracted public sympathy during his troubled marriage to Heather Mills. So heaven knows what kind of response he can expect now that he's being hassled by the Cheeky Girls.</p> Pandora Thu, 12 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/brian-viner/brian-viner-country-life-844046.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/brian-viner/brian-viner-country-life-844046.html <p>As befits a town which accommodated Edward IV's ill-fated sons, known to posterity as the princes in the tower, and Catherine of Aragon, and where the Civil War raged, Ludlow is not short of ghosts. Unless you don't believe in them, of course, but I talked the other day to a man called Steve, who recently went as a confirmed sceptic on a Haunting Breaks weekend to the Feathers Hotel, the old coaching inn with the famous Jacobean fa&ccedil;ade, and emerged a grudging believer, having had some unexpected dialogue with his late grandmother.</p> Brian Viner Wed, 11 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-the-remarkable-tale-of-the-postman-who-finally-bit-back-844174.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/miles-kington-remembered-the-remarkable-tale-of-the-postman-who-finally-bit-back-844174.html <p>(12 may 1998) A most curious trial is going on in a London court at the moment, in which a postman is accused of biting a dog. The action is being brought under the little-used Domestic Animals Protection Act (1923), which was originally passed to stamp out cruelty in the RSPCA, but which is thought never to have been previously used against a postman. </p> Miles Kington Wed, 11 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100 http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/alex-james/alex-james-the-great-escape-844195.html http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/alex-james/alex-james-the-great-escape-844195.html <p>I keep getting arrested &ndash; by details. Maybe it's because I'm listening to so much Beethoven that everything seems irresistibly interesting. Last Thursday, after repeated cramming of his First Symphony, the entire English countryside transformed into a monster budget video set to his music. Since then, I've been inside this perfect film, hearing imaginary violins and oboes, beguiled, sometimes to a standstill, by the excellence of the colour green or the exactness of sunshine on alliums. I'd rather like to be left alone for long enough to go peacefully insane like everybody else, but then Fred'll wander up and tell me, 'Another one of them tups "'as 'ad it". And the beautiful Beethoven bubble bursts.</p> Alex James Wed, 11 Jun 2008 00:00:01 +0100