Susie Rushton: X Factor's demise isn't over the terrible singing, but the judging
Notebook
Latest in Columnists
Opinion blogs
The Iraq Canard
The anti-war Blair rage is subsiding. The proof is that Lord Sumption’s lecture at the London ...
Victory over the “foreign court”
Jack Straw and David Davis have a joint article in the Telegraph today, urging the Government to ign...
Why do some men consider the street as a female meat market?
Pronouncements on sexual inequality in the UK are normally met with an eye roll by my generation. As...
Never mind trying to dismantle global capitalism. If the campers outside St Paul's Cathedral had only set their sights a little higher - say, the hegemony of the formatted TV talent show, this weekend they might be able to claim some small victory. For I believe we are witnessing the beginning of the end of the X Factor. In previous series, the programme's mighty audience numbers grew with each episode. This year, the numbers have remained static with an average of 10.1 million tuning in. By the same stage in the competition last year, 12 million viewers watched Simon Cowell and his primped co-judges deliver verdicts on Britain's mildly talented amateur singers.
And, in even worse news for Cowell, who abandoned the UK show to appear on the US version (although his company Syco of course owns the rights to both), many of those two million disillusioned viewers aren't baking Victoria sponges or reading Kierkegaard on a Saturday night instead of watching ITV's biggest money spinner of the modern age. They're glued to Nancy Dell' Olio being manhandled around the dancefloor on BBC1 - this weekend, Strictly Come Dancing managed to outpace the X Factor by more than a million viewers during the 15-minute period the two shows overlapped.
A panicked Cowell has reportedly ordered the judges to improve the show "by 50 per cent". Viewers have complained that the song choices have been boring, the "genre contests" predictable - and certainly this weekend's "rock" showdown reminded me of a horrible afternoon I once spent in a bad karaoke bar in Las Vegas. But the problem with the new series isn't the contestants, who are as desperate as they always were; it is the judges who have begun to pall.
On Sunday, clearly under orders from producers to generate "tension", an entirely fake on-camera spat was concocted between the two female judges, Kelly Rowland and Tulisa Contostavlos. "You’re bullying the other contestants backstage!" snarls Tulisa to dullard contestant Misha B. "What happens backstage, stays backstage!" squeaks Kelly. A pair of five-year-old girls arguing over a skipping rope would sound more venomous.
Then there are the two men: Louis Walsh, the wet blanket; and Gary Barlow aka the talented one from Take That. It is Barlow who really lets the proceedings down. Dressed in a dark three-piece suit, with dark shirt and tie (in the style of a strip-bar proprietor), the cuddly crooner adjusts his eyebrows into what he hopes will be a terrifying glare, before delivering a half-hearted put-down.
Noel Gallagher has claimed that Simon Cowell asked him to play the X-Factor baddie, replacing himself, but that he turned it down, and that is a shame, because you can't really fake being an asshole, and that’s what this show is now missing.
***
The story of how Steve Jobs, who was adopted as a child, avoided meeting his biological father, is intriguing in many ways. Talking to CBS before his death, the Apple boss said that after tracking down his blood sister, the pair had discovered that their real father was John Jandali, of Syrian origin, who worked in a bar in California. Jobs refused to meet him, so the sister went alone. Not knowing that Jobs was his son, Jandali bragged about previously owning a restaurant in Silicon Valley where everybody important - including Steve Jobs - had eaten at one time. Jobs was, the unknowing father added, "a great tipper". Much has been said about Jobs's lack of interest in philanthropy, so on the surface this snippet might seem to challenge the image of the self-obsessed, and selfish, entrepreneur. But tipping big is partly an act of ego, not of charity. It's flash. But it also bespeaks a certain personal generosity, a quality that hasn't come out so far in the myriad unsympathetic recollections of the man.
- 1 Hardeep Singh Kohli: For me, it is all about 'Gregory's Girl', a record of first love
- 2 Paul Vallely: America and Pakistan do their dance of death
- 3 Patrick Cockburn: I fear this terrible massacre will be the beginning of a long civil war in Syria
- 4 The Daily Cartoon
- 5 Leading article: Ten questions for Jeremy Hunt
- 6 Joan Smith: Zuma's vanity is nothing - it's HIV that counts
- 7 John Rentoul: A textbook case of how not to defuse a scandal
- 8 Dom Joly: Eurovision's host likes things puny or phoney. Perfect
- 9 Alan George: The world waits for Damascus to go a step too far
- 10 Ben Chu: Europe has to become a 'country' – a new beast – if the euro is to survive
- 1 Mark Zuckerberg saved $111m by selling Facebook shares before stock slumped
- 2 Brazil rocked by abortion for 9-year-old rape victim
- 3 Fat? Really? Olympic hope laughs off official’s jibe – but others aren’t amused
- 4 Is Ridley Scott the most macho man in movies?
- 5 Postgraduate students are being used as 'slave labour'
- 6 'Hello mum, this is going to be hard for you to read ...'
- 7 African monkey meat that could be behind the next HIV
- 8 Exclusive dispatch: Assad blamed for massacre of the innocents
- 9 Coke reveals its secret: It may need to carry a cancer warning
- 10 French in uproar over oral sex anti-smoking posters
Experience the Heineken Hub
Get free wi-fi and exclusive i content while you enjoy a tasty pint of Heineken at participating pubs.
Can you imagine a career in teaching?
Be inspired to teach - let real teachers show you how rewarding the job can be.
Playing a game-changing role during the Games
Cisco is providing the solutions for London 2012's complex IT needs.
Enter the latest Independent competitions
Win anything from gadgets to five-star holidays on our competitions and offers page.
Business videos from commercial thought leaders
Watch the best in the business world give their insights into the world of business.
Career Services
The secret life of the red carpet
Up and away – how '7 Up' went global



Comments