Mark Frith: When two celebrities date they press the fast-forward button to marriage

Frankly, it's a wonder any celebrity relationships function at all. Marriages and long-term relationships take work and famous people tend to get others to do their work for them. The constant discussion, quest for compromise and need for patience? Too much grind, frankly. Can't someone else do this for me?

So, to Madonna and Guy. It is difficult to "give a little" when you're a star of the magnitude of Madonna. You're used to getting your own way all the time, and have teams of people letting you, so the nuances of a marriage can be tough to deal with. Imagine you are her. You've just come offstage in front of several million people; others are crowding round the door you're trying to get out of, or the car you're trying to climb into. The message they are all giving you – whether it's through what they're shouting, the banners they are holding or just the vibes you're getting – is "I love you. I love everything about you. You are amazing. You can do no wrong in my eyes."

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Imagine when you've finally made it into the car and gone back home how hollow life gets when you walk through the front door to an argument about childcare or a clash of diaries (or the waste disposal packing up again). How can someone who has that much affection from that many people deal with the times in everyone's life when affection from one person is wavering and you have to put it right? All of that adulation stuff is easy and fun. This is difficult. Too difficult for many.

There are other pitfalls when you're famous and trying to find everlasting love. Although Madonna and Guy's relationship didn't develop into marriage overnight, the journey from on-off to wedding was pretty swift.

Celebrities always do this; they run their relationships on fast-forward. They date, then a week later they've moved in with each other, then they're married. Why? What's the damn hurry?

Many celebrities just cling on to the person that they feel is "the one" and then do everything they can to ensure they don't escape. Generally, they are a very impatient breed.

Then there is the issue of geography: how can a touring, globally famous pop star and a very busy film director ever be in the same country at the same time? Long-distance love, long-term, rarely makes anyone happy.

In the next few days there will be acres of print devoted to Madonna's love plight, people will say that it's impossible for the Queen Of Me Me Me, the patron saint of Girl Power, to ever find true, lifelong love.

That will miss the point. In the world of celebrity it's difficult for anyone to make long-term love work. These are larger-than-life people with unreal lives and (often) complex personalities. It's tough for all of them. Being famous may bring you vast wealth and lots of freebies but boy is it rubbish for your love life...

Mark Frith is the former editor of 'Heat'. His book, 'The Celeb Diaries: The Sensational Inside Story Of The Celebrity Decade', is on sale now