Expenses scandal
Mark Steel: Here's what filthy rich really means
One MP will have claimed for panda food, another for a Rembrandt
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Independent Minds
By now, Jacqui Smith's husband must be preparing a new apology that goes: "I am now TRULY sorry for fiddling porn films on expenses. What was I thinking of? Compared to the rest, I could have claimed for King Dong and Chesty Morgan to perform live on the lawn and not seemed out of place."
How do you top Douglas Hogg, who claimed £2,000 for the cost of clearing his moat? Presumably he thinks, "No politician can represent their constituents properly if they've got a dirty moat." Whenever there's a debate in Parliament about housing estates with squalid conditions, he must think, "Oh how dreadful, these poor blighters must make do with a communal moat."
Or Oliver Letwin, with his £2,000 claim for a pipe under a tennis court. Maybe this isn't the main issue, but why does a tennis court need a pipe under it anyway? Is he having Hawkeye installed? So he'll make a statement saying: "As a member of the Shadow Cabinet, I might be asked to entertain senior businessmen with a game of tennis, and if that was to end in a vicious fight over a disputed line call it would be highly damaging to Britain's interests."
And there's all the Hazel Blears types, who see nothing wrong in claiming that, on becoming an MP, they moved into a new residence in a litter bin, which meant the home they had been living in for 20 years was now their second home, and it was essential for their kids they employed a full-time snooker referee.
There's nothing that could now be surprising. By next week it will turn out one of them claimed for an original Rembrandt, insisting they lived under it as a second home. Another will have claimed for £20,000 of panda food, or a time machine, or £3,000 to have a light bulb changed by Elton John. David Davis, the Conservatives' former law and order spokesman, claimed £2,000 for mowing his paddocks. Maybe that's why he was so angry with teenage criminals – he was appalled by their lack of ambition. What he meant to say was: "These thugs should be ashamed of themselves. Instead of mugging people for a mobile phone they should grab them and say, 'Don't move, bruv, you're surrounded, innit. Now mow my paddock or I'll mash you up'."
And so many of these MPs have harrumphed with approval at the clampdowns on false claims for housing and invalidity benefits. They've gone along with campaigns such as "Rat on a rat" and "Benefit cheats, we're closing in". And then they object, as Luton's MP Margaret Moran did, that they had to claim for a house in Southampton (nowhere near her work) because "I can't do my job without somewhere to be with my family". So that's what to say if you're caught fiddling the dole. Tell the fraud officer you were saving up for a house in Southampton, because these days a house in Southampton is clearly a basic human necessity like toilet roll. Surely the Labour Party must set a target that by 2013 every family in Britain will have a house in Southampton.
But, of course, these people don't think they've done anything wrong because both parties now stand for the values of big business. Lord Peter Mandelson declared famously that New Labour was "relaxed about people being filthy rich". Politicians move in those circles. Their heroes are Murdoch, Branson and Berlusconi. They inhabit a world of clean moats and mowed paddocks. Bit by bit, I get the impression the way this country is run is not quite right.
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Comments
This is nothing more than a damage limitation exercise - and these allegations would never have been relevaled ahead of a general election. No one cares a great deal about the Euro elections so they decided to "leak" this information now, because it would've come out sooner or later anyway.
What kind of example does this set to benefit cheats and VAT scammers?
Well if I'm honest, a great number of us knew the government was corrupt, but we didn't know how to prive it - this is just a tiny example of what they're up to - I'm sure there are many, many other things the MP's etc get up to that we know nothing of.
Virtually every major issue facing humanity has been sold to us as a global problem that needs a global solution: global warming, global recession, global terrorism etc.
Wake up people!
You really DO get the government you deserve. Maggie Thatcher made you greedy and gave you greed-mongerers as your rulers.
These policies appear to driven by the need of this government ( and the previous one and probably the next) to provide massive profits to big business at the taxpayer's expense. Abandonment of these policies should go a long way to balancing the books. Compared to the billions wasted in this wayM.P.s expanses are chickenfeed.
The british expats living in Australia, New Zealand and Thailand still have their state pensions frozen but have to pay UK TAXES. Why should we have to pay for these crooks to live in lavish lifestyles?.
Many expats living over here find it extremely difficult and cannot fathom out why they are treated so badly.
I would welcome the Independant to publish these facts and fight for our rights.
Please fight for us as many british expats are in dire need of your help.
With many thanks
They are now exposed as the Bad Pigs they are - only interested in absolute power and limitless expense accounts...
What really hurts is a "socialist" political party ought to know better than this. We expect the Tories to get up to filthy rich behaviour - that marks them out as Tories. But a Labour MP? They are supposed to be in power to prevent this kind of corruption - not make the problem much worse.
Unlike the BNP
Long live the ignorant and the racist!!
Go **** yourself.
At first I was consumed with the requisite rage of anyone non-parliamentary at this.
But then, really, let's admit it: if one IS to consider ripping off the country, you have to give the guy 10 out of 10 for sheer unmitigated style. Or gall. Or effrontery. Whatever, it's almost admirable and even funny in its outright contempt for the rest of us...
Kettlethorpe Hall
Kettlethorpe
LINCOLN
LN1 2LD
The Ordnance Survey shows that, conveniently, there is a public footpath right in front of the properrty to facilitate external viewing. Why not make a day out!
OR A NICE FLOATING TURD
Far worse than a squeaky drawbridge for instance which, I've always found, can be instantly remedied with candle wax from the great hall or dripping from a roasted pig.
Maybe the Daily Telegraph should run a "handy hints for the landed classes" column. It could save us all a fortune.
And they say today's politicians are out of touch.
Nice sign off Mr Steel, by the way.
I think it is hilarious that politicians have for years talked about scrounging of the state and er....they have been doing it unchallenged for years!
No doubt the story will soon disappear but perhaps in future MPs may just be slightly more circumspect about what they claim....or maybe not!
Especially as these flipping hypocrites claim to be the champions of the poorer and vulnerable in society. Yes, these flipping Labour hypocrites easily put the couple of grand claimed by Tory grandees Hogg and Letwin in the shade, Mark Steel.
They say the entire time stupid ass you and your ass. I do not know what these means as they drive fast in the Ferrari that has to pull out of the horse races. The rich send the races on the money. They eat diamond and beard with peanuts that are roasted in silver. They drink wine but they tell you they are broke. I do not understand any so I pass by telling them Good Morning sir.
I thank you
Firozali A.Mulla
I saw Hazel Blears say that she knows that people hate the (expenses) system.
That's true but I wanted to shout at her ' ..and we hate you too Hazel!!''
I'm 43 years old and I've never felt such nerve sapping contempt and hatred as I do for this government in my life.
Probably because I've only ever voted for Labour before.
Since when was toilet roll a basic human necessity instead of a rather unhygienic and disgusting substitute for water.