Simon Carr

The Independent's parliamentary sketch writer and columnist since 2000, Simon Carr was described by Tony Blair as "the most vicious sketch writer working in Britain today". "Poison," said Charles Clarke.

In the 1980s he helped launch The Independent, and was a speech writer for the prime minister of New Zealand from 1992 to 1994. His working principle is "Indignation keeps us young."

The Sketch: Ed Balls: the dull thud of a party next door

Can't they put Ed Balls into law? Make him the subject of a Guarantee? Can't he be a right that every parent has? If for the first time Balls was put on a statutory basis millions of people would be certain of access to him.

Recently by Simon Carr

The Sketch: More a living will than a Queen's Speech

Thursday, 19 November 2009

"Check against delivery". That was the instruction on the front of the Queen's Speech. It's the one thing we don't have to worry about with our head of state. She won't get seized with inspiration and announce a "November Guarantee to create 30,000 jobs".

The Sketch: A public need to find a truth too secret to reveal

Friday, 13 November 2009

Secret inquests went to the Lords and yesterday came back. Poor Jack Straw regards himself as a champion of coroners' juries but has to introduce this new way because there are things too secret for ordinary people to hear.

The Sketch: Questions are not there to be dignified

Thursday, 12 November 2009

What is going through the Prime Minister's mind when he says of Cameron: "This is the man who made a cast-iron guarantee on a referendum on the Lisbon treaty!" He laughs lingeringly, and seems to enjoy the sally. His back benches roar away.

The Sketch: He's forgotten the first rule of leadership: indifference

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

They have strong stomachs in the lobby. I'm not sure I can go through another one of those press conferences.

Simon Carr: Trust him, he's the Justice Secretary ... Oh, if only we could

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

Sketch: We know that ministerial assurances at the despatch box aren't worth the air they're breathed into

Don't call me an alcoholic

Monday, 9 November 2009

Simon Carr: Binge-drinking, I can remember, was once praised as being safer than steady soaking

The Sketch: When goodbye seems to be the longest word

Friday, 6 November 2009

What a long goodbye it is. There are six months to go but the committee has started its farewells. They've had over a decade together and now they await the deluge. Some will be standing down, others put down. Some will be promoted, others discarded. Meanwhile, we are entering the pre-election period of nothing happening.

Simon Carr: Of course we're bad – but at least we admit it

Thursday, 5 November 2009

The Sketch

The Sketch: The joys of financial ignorance

Wednesday, 4 November 2009

These billions and those trillions, who's keeping track any more? How? Does the money matter, now that we're printing it? If overspending got us into this mess, how does overspending get us out? Who knows? Most of us are so ignorant we don't know that we don't know.