The Sketch: Dirty secrets and the evil that men do
Simon Carr
The Independent's parliamentary sketch writer and columnist since 2000, Simon Carr was described by Tony Blair as "the most vicious sketch writer working in Britain today". "Poison," said Charles Clarke. In the 1980s he helped launch The Independent, and was a speech writer for the prime minister of New Zealand from 1992 to 1994. His working principle is "Indignation keeps us young."
Tuesday 27 November 2007
Latest in Simon Carr
Opinion blogs
Circular firing squad at a crossroads
Politico has identified seven dreadful clichés of campaigning in and commenting on the Republican pr...
Reminders of Iraq
I was sorry to learn from Paul Waugh of the death of Brian Jones, the former Defence Intelligence Se...
Mervyn King is more than keeping up on Gilt purchases
The Bank of England is taking more UK government bonds out of the market each month than the Debt Ma...
Dirty, dirty, dirty! Or in that way horrified mothers used to pronounce it: "Dutty!" Denis MacShane was lambasting men. Not all men, just the dutty ones. Dutty old men. Dutty middle-aged men. Dutty young men. These men who go to massage parlours were more than dutty; by the middle of his question they had become "desperately evil". No punishment is too harsh for evil duttiness. "Naming and shaming" is surely just the start. Denis wants any man paying for sex in a massage parlour to be named, shamed and (I think) prosecuted. It would be hard to let a "desperately evil" man go uncharged, when we're prosecuting women for reading out the names of the war dead in Whitehall without permission.
Trafficked women had prompted Den's duttiness. No one can be in favour of trafficking women so maybe he was indulging himself. Lathering himself up. Exciting himself. In public. Using the House as an ego massage parlour. It's bigger than the normal massage parlour but then Denis is built abnormally large in the ego department. Some questions, though. If, as a minister said, "we don't want to see brothels operating" why aren't they closed down? If trafficked women are suffering, why aren't the places raided? And why haven't we signed the treaty relating to trafficking? But that's all difficult. And not the fun of naming and shaming.
It wasn't the only moral exhibitionism of the day – the government front bench and one ambitious PPS were wearing white lapel twists. What did that mean? They were supporting the Eradication of Violence Against Women. They should be named and shamed.
David Davis is making excellent progress on his umpteenth home secretary. What, he asked her, about Project Stork (or possibly Stalk), an EU-wide data project run by the Home Office to test ID cards' fit with other countries? Could we be sure of data security with 27 countries being involved? Who knows? The Home Secretary didn't because she had clearly never heard of the project.
John Randall asked her to say if she had heard of Project Stork (or Stalk). She said, "No". Obviously she didn't say "No" as such but when she sat down she hadn't said, "Yes".
Is it significant? They can spin their way out of it. But those who like collecting evidence that the Government suddenly isn't up to it will go to bed happy.
PS: "This House is the guarantor of our liberties"– Liam Byrne. There, I've named him. He can shame himself.
- 1 Matthew Norman: There's always the Human Rights Act, Trevor
- 2 Mark Steel: If religion is 'marginal', I'm the Pope
- 3 Hamish McRae: Living standards will start to get better sooner than you think
- 4 Christina Patterson: The struggle against police racism has just got a lot harder
- 5 Kate Allen: It's time for America to put an end to this shameful scandal
- 6 The Daily Cartoon
- 7 Dominic Lawson: Spare me these orgies of self-congratulation
- 1 Spotify: 1 million plays, £108 return
- 2 How Koscielny became prince of the Emirates
- 3 Apple admits it has a human rights problem
- 4 Mark Steel: If religion is 'marginal', I'm the Pope
- 5 No secularism please, we're British
- 6 Lightning kills an entire football team
- 7 Matthew Norman: There's always the Human Rights Act, Trevor
- 8 Special report: The hungry generation
- 9 I was born to be a killer. Every night I see the Devil in my dreams
- 10 Six Grammys, five years off: Adele puts love before career
Free trial of new Independent iPad app
Get your daily dose of the best of British journalism, sponsored by American Airlines
Win a three-week coastal jaunt
Spend three weeks exploring every nook and cranny of gorgeous Atlantic Canada.
Amazing restaurant offers
Three glasses of free champagne and a special menu at 46 top London restaurants.
Latest Independent competitions
Win anything from gadgets to five-star holidays on our competitions and offers page.
Commercial thought leaders
Watch the best in the business world give their insights into the world of business.
Career Services
Day In a Page
How an abortion divided America
Did they all live happily ever after? That's up to you...




Comments