The Sketch: Labour's chickens are coming home, faster and faster

Relatives of the child abducted in Portugal were in the public gallery. So, many MPs were wearing yellow ribbons. Why? There isn't a tidy answer to that but... No, it's too difficult, we'll have to move on.

Presco was standing in for the PM. It may be his last official appearance in the House. Mrs Presco sat up in the gallery looking down on her husband, as did we all. He looked up to her. As did we all. What a glamour-pants she is.

The questions asked by the Opposition (about the Dome, doctors' training posts, Home Information Packs) were answered by the single word: "Tories!"

Personally, I've had enough of that class war rubbish, myself. But only because my lot won. So we should be grateful to Presco, it wouldn't have been such a clear-cut victory without his active collaboration. I hope he'll be all right back in the Prescopolis. I don't suppose there's a lamp-post that will bear his weight.

And in his defence: he did start the privatisation of bus services and the Private Finance Initiative was originally his idea. And he has stood by the war in Iraq. He supported marketisation of the health service, competition between schools, and top-up fees. He stopped just short of allowing MPs to wear sponsors' logos, true, but he has served us well.

The day developed a theme. Before the debate on Home Information Packs, the Speaker allowed an Urgent Question on Patricia Hewitt. The question was: "Why on earth is she still Minister of Health?" I thought the answer was obvious but Andrew Lansley muddied the waters sufficiently to let her escape into the murk.

The computer isn't that important to the doctors' training places fiasco. The first rule of computing is: sewage in, sewage out. It isn't the computer saying that one failed interview prevents you ever becoming a consultant.

No, it's Mrs Hewitt saying that, or someone very like her. It is she who should pick up the can of sewage and carry it outside, closing the door behind her.

We're at a point in the Government's history that's only useful to satirists, cynics and fatalists. The phase is characterised by design flaws, project failures, and administrative collapse. It's one of the few political advantages of losing three elections in a row. The Tories can now enjoy the sight of the first flock of chickens flying in low over the horizon. Rural payments. Tax credits. PFI payments. State employee pensions. Public pay inflation. The NHS data spine. The identity register. More and more, the chickens come home, faster and faster.

And now the Home Information Packs. Terrific attack by Michael Gove and a spirited defence of the indefensible by Yvette Cooper. The vote went with the Government but the Lords are set to throw it back so there'll be plenty more on that, when the time comes.

simoncarr@sketch.sc

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