The Sketch: Ming hounded by the merciless as Blair breezes on to the end

Whatever else he has done, Ming has made a unique contribution to the Commons for the Liberal Democrats. In his field he is the champion, the man who causes a hot flush of anticipation when he stands up. He's prompted better heckling than anyone else in Parliament. No one will ever break this record, I suspect.

In his first outing he caused a parliamentary collapse with the merest pause. He had begun to denounce the government for the number of acting headteachers in place and in a silent microsecond the House realised he was an acting head himself. The laughter went on for a full minute. It seemed like a month. In some sense it's still going on. The following week he began an attack on pensions and Eric Forth (RIP) called across with cheerful cruelty: "Declare your interest." Yesterday he started speaking on nuclear power when an outbreak of laughter interrupted him. A colleague in the press gallery deduced someone had said "fossil fuel". No one had, in fact, but it was something like.

But no, it is impossible for the poor fellow to keep on top any more. He has always looked like the 1950s Chalky from the Giles cartoons. Unless he keeps better order he can't last long in his current position; he will pass on leaving only the heckles behind him. The tragedy is, it's only funny while he's leader.

Blair. What can one say. They must be so fed up with him jaunting round the world visiting various dictators, dropping in on Iraq, commissioning a £100m jet for Downing Street, leaving carbon footprints the size of Paddington Station with every step. How they must wish he'd buzz off. And yet he still gets the bench monkeys cheering. He can still make them proud. He is going out in his own time, on his own terms leaving behind him a massively increased public sector and public spending higher than it's been in living memory, with the cheers of his sullen and rebarbative party in his ears.

He leaves saying "we are getting on with the serious business of politics" while Cameron is still concerned with dragging his party out of the Stone Age. That's the rhetorical strategy. There's enough truth in it to make it hurt.

I was determined to stay for Alastair Darling's nuclear statement. But then he started speaking. His first words filled the chamber, as of a pair of bagpipes groaning into action. We all left. One of the most important announcements, probably, of a generation. Strategic energy supplies. Life-threatening emissions. Ageing power stations. Challenges at home and abroad.

Lunch. No one can listen to Alastiar Darling talking about these things. But that, of course, is the point. That's how the consultation process will come out as the Government wants. That's how the public will be excluded, for once and for all.

sketch@simoncarr.com

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