The Sketch: Tired Labour gazes into the abyss

The world is changed, our political world at least, but it was hard in the House to tell the survivors from the victims.

The Tories managed not to crow, and government MPs were valiantly normal. In parentheses, it must be said that Labour politicians have behaved with more sangfroid than their fellow travellers in Fleet Street – The Guardian in particular has been describing Boris in terms inspired by The Protocols of the Elders of Zion. I now understand what "rabid hate speech" means; I'd never come across it before.

But there in the House, very little of that penetrated. Equable Alan Johnson lazed on the bench: nice Ben Bradshaw (he's aged five years in the past decade) answered affably. Out of the mild, conversational buzz we heard the usual administrative arguments but our thoughts were all elsewhere.

Alan Johnson didn't get up to answer a question until 2.59. That's his particular strength, supporters say. He can't take over, I keep saying, he's admitted he's not up to it. "Exactly!" they reply: "That's what people like about him. He'd have to run a collegiate cabinet."

"But remember," I come back with my unanswerable point, "He was beaten in the deputy election by Harriet Harman." That gives them a moment's pause. "But Harman called in the union vote through Jack Dromey. That wouldn't happen again."

Here's Alan Simpson asking about something: "GP-led health services. Urgent transport prioritisation has been left out of, or wilfully inserted into, the Care Quality Commission's regional Assessment Protocol..." .

His amendment to the Energy Bill last week drew the biggest Labour rebellion of the year. The whips cunningly scheduled it for the night before the local elections otherwise a Tory presence would have carried it. It's a brilliant idea, to allow people to be paid for feeding electricity into the national grid. The Government's so exhausted it just can't cope with a new idea.

"C. Diff and MRSA. Half our hospitals have rates of infection 10 times higher than overseas..."

They've so had it. They wilfully destroyed their entire political strategy (summarised in four words: "Tony Blair: Gordon Brown").

The young class warriors thought they could do without their supple, Home Counties leader because they had locked in the vote for a generation. They believed the fairy tale about Tories feeding on the flesh of workers. Now, they're after policies to "shore up their core vote". Iain Duncan Smith has taught them nothing.

simoncarr@sketch.sc

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