Terence Blacker: They sell your books, your mum and dad
Madeley happened to mention that he was beaten by his father
Tuesday, 14 October 2008
The television presenter Richard Madeley was having lunch with his agent, discussing possible book projects. They had rejected ideas that had come in from publishers – "The Madeley Medley of Celebrity Gaffes" was probably there, not to mention "Sofa So Good: Behind the Scenes of Daytime TV" – and were discussing their families over coffee. in a casual aside (or so it is claimed), Madeley happened to mention that he was beaten by his father between the ages of eight and 10.
Kerrching! The agent's eyes turned into pound signs, and soon another tale of screwed-up family life was being written. The result, called Fathers and Sons, has just been published. A neat fusion of two successful genres, the misery memoir and the celebrity confession, it will sell well, and probably deserves to. Not only did Madeley actually write it himself, but its theme is very much of the moment.
There has surely been no generation quite as obsessed by the behaviour and misbehaviour of its parents than that which was born 50 or so years ago. it is a preoccupation which is different from the self-pitying and prurient memoirs of abuse that have littered the bookshops over the past decade. Serious writers, as they grow old, are remembering their parents, looking back with a sense of wonderment at the peculiarity of the family in which they grew up.
They are not exploiting this curiosity about 20th century domestic life so much as expressing it. There is, it seems, a real yearning to understand the generation which is now dying, which was connected to modern life and yet not of it. Thinking about Madeley and his father, I realised that, without particularly meaning to, I had been recently reading a lot of these books – parentlit, perhaps they should be called – and that, while the books told utterly different stories, each was unusually memorable and moving. Brave and interesting writers have been discovering that the most fascinating material for their work is to be found close to home, in their own past.
What can explain this obsession with fathers and mothers? The dysfunctional parents described in Alexander Waugh's familiarly titled Fathers and Sons; Miranda Seymour's in My Father's House; Julia Blackburn's The Three of Us, and AM Homes's The Mistress's Daughter, range from the insanely snobbish to the sexually incontinent, from the abnormally cold to the obsessively secret, but they have in common an uneasiness with themselves and with what family life demands of them.
These are such extraordinary books that it is tempting to conclude that the generation of writers, born after the war and now in late middle age, is ideally qualified to write intelligent, impassioned, wounded stories about their clenched and confused forbears. it understands psychology, and sympathises with men and women buffeted by the pressures of their extraordinary times.
But, above all, those writing, reading and thinking about the mess so many of their parents made of their emotional lives, have one eye on the present. "I wanted to explore how bad things can bleed down through the generations," Madeley has said, and others who have written about their parents would agree. There is an unspoken subtext to these accounts and it is about the writer, not the subject. it says, "I am saner, kinder, less irascible and uptight, than those who brought me into the world. I have come through".
It is a comforting thought, even if it is not always true.
-
Print Article
-
Email Article
-
Click here for copyright permissions
Copyright 2008 Independent News and Media Limited





Comments
15 Comments
Andrea, I've never ever bullied anyone in the entirety of my life. You throw out insults very easily and they keep on missing the mark.
I could have posted very rude and intellectually snobbish things about you in particular but I didn't. And pound to the penny, I'd have hit the mark.
You are the aggressive one.
You brought up school bullying. That could have been brought into the posts in a very interesting and purposeful way. But no. You used it to insult a stranger.
Reading books is one thing. Understanding and dealing with them, quite another.
But I'm glad your son's tormentors have been dealt with.
Posted by GBCB | 17.10.08, 15:14 GMT
GBCB, who says I don't value my own thoughts and words, just because I am vastly interested in other people's? One does not exclude the other.
Who is pretending to be intellectual? The article is about books, so, surprise, surprise, the postings on the message board are about books.
And what is wrong with being intellectual? My son, who was a very bright and able child, suddenly stopped doing well at school when he was about seven. When we got to the bottom of the problem it was because some older children had called him a swat and a geek, because he liked to learn and get on with his work. So, bullied by them, he stopped doing well. Whe the bullies had been tackled by the school, he started doing well again. You're like those kids who picked on my son. We all have to pretend to be dumb and anti-intellectual.
If you feel left out in the book discussion, then read some. I've never heard such nonsense in my life. Don't you discuss books wih your famuily and friends? Loan them?
Posted by Andrea | 15.10.08, 12:53 GMT
Andrea, you are quite right. The written word is powerful, beautiful, profoundly important (and that's an understatement) and books are wonderful things. But don't you value your own thoughts and words too? Can't we also argue with our own thoughts and observations instead of pretending to be ever-so intellectual? And as for 'Oh dear', oh dear! Therapy can help when the nurturing process goes wrong which I think it does for many disturbed and violent people. Unless you are just being flippant, could you expand your views on therapy? And also would anyone care to comment on the way the posts are skirting round the issue of violence in the home.
Posted by GBCB | 15.10.08, 09:43 GMT
funny title
Posted by Richard B | 14.10.08, 20:49 GMT
or is it simply that madeley has jumped on the bandwagon ... seizing an opportunity to make a bit of cash by revealing his parents alleged misdemeanours. Once it was "fashionable" for so called celebrities to reveal that they were homosexual, now how they were abused by their parents. (The latter notably proffered by criminals as an excuse for their nefarious activities)
Posted by basilisk | 14.10.08, 18:31 GMT
GBCB, you want people to stop 'name dropping books' because it is 'embarassing'. No, being ignorant and not reading books is embarassing. Maybe you feel threatened by people who read. To read is the cornerstone of civilisation and those who are against it, or think it should be hidden, are the ones with the problem.
Read and be proud. Or maybe you think everyone should pretend to be dumb. An inverted kind of snobbery.
I'll never stop reading and I'll never stop talking about books. If you don't read books then I pity you. It's been one of the biggest and best parts of my life.
Posted by Andrea | 14.10.08, 18:04 GMT
GBCB - nurturing and therapy are NOT the same thing. The former is a childhood necessity; the latter is a pointless and damaging business model. Perhaps you should buy a dictionary? Unless you've already ripped it up in rage that is...
Posted by Oh dear | 14.10.08, 16:44 GMT
Stop name-dropping books 'what I've read' etc, it's embarrassing. Just look around and be honest about our society. It's aggressive. We're an aggressive little island. We could do with more therapy, more nurturing and less spouting off about violence in violent terms. I don't care who it is who says beatings and harshness are not good things, it's a good and worthwhile thing to say and to read. And a big improvement on a lot of the silly postings here.
Posted by GBCB | 14.10.08, 16:37 GMT
Yes Andrea of course - but that's characters in fiction. What we have now is real life memoirs - Boo Hoo my daddy slapped me so aren't I brave to survive... VERY different. Ultimately a symptom of a self-obsessed me me me society - the same reason why we have jeremy kyle, oprah, loose women, psychologies magazine, cosmo, emotionalism in the news etc.
I see your point - and yes, story themes are eternal as in Aristotle's Poetics - only 7 plots - it's all Cinderella and Hansel and Gretal again - and goodness, I wish someone took a few slebrities out to the forest on a one way trip! They are rampant egomaniacs who think their lives worthy of reading about. They are not.
What amazes me is that anyone will pay good money to read celebrities attention-seeking and whingeing - I suppose I'm just better educated than most.
Posted by Sudsy | 14.10.08, 15:53 GMT
A great deal of fiction, especially children's fiction, is about the failure of parents, step-parents or those in loco parentis. Even in the Fairy Tales: Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, there is the wicked step-mother, through to to Jane Eyre and her dreadful aunt, and Harry Potter and his awful aunt and uncle. It's a common theme explored in literature. Poor old David Copperfield and his step-father. Where would all our fictional heroes and heroines be without cruel, uncaring, neglectful and downright pycopathic parenting?
All the celebrities do is semi-fictionalize an age old story and any writer will know that parents and families are a rich seam waiting to be mined when it comes to plots and villians.
Posted by Andrea | 14.10.08, 15:38 GMT
15 Comments