The Third Leader: Footballers' lives

Footballers tend to get a bit of stick, both on and off the pitch. Currently, it's their architecture that is under scrutiny. And what architecture! Where else will you encounter such a hectic, eclectic mix of Spanish colonial, neo-classical and vernacular newbuild, accommodating conservatory, Jacuzzi, snooker room, ample garaging and signature fountain?

There are some, of course, who shake their heads at this. So do I. In awe. Who else in Britain displays the innovation and style of our footballers? Think what the game has given us. Marvellously graphic terms like "gutted", lively new constructions like "the boy done good" and even a new tense, the past apostrophe, "he's come in behind the defence and he's caught them cold", all invigorating a language in danger of losing its creativity to the blanding effect of improved communications.

Where would car salesmen, jewellers and carrier-bag manufacturers be without footballers and their much-derided partners? Think of the boost to the construction industry, particularly the indoor swimming pool sector. Think, too, of the sneers that Nebuchadnezzar, Louis XIV and Frank Matcham encountered while creating the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, Versailles, and the Tower Ballroom, Blackpool, all inspirations for premiership stars. Will future archaeologists get more excited by the Prince of Wales's Poundbury, or Wayne Rooney's palace in Prestbury?

Tom Wolfe pointed out the beauty of Las Vegas; Betjeman wrote that architecture declines when it becomes self-conscious. Wayne, next time you see a lip begin to curl, simply say: "De gustibus non est disputandum."

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