Heaven is a place on earth...
THE OLD RECTORY, Beckingham, Lincoln
Tel: 01636 701 401
They say: An exquisite residence, situated in a popular village, this house has been restored to a high standard. There are nine bedrooms, three bathrooms, three reception rooms, a study and a garage for six cars. There's an entertainment suite with a 90in Sony cinema system too.
We say: This is like a hotel – and you could always turn some of those bedrooms into dressing rooms, nurseries and children's playrooms. Newark station is about 10 minutes away, and trains from there will take you to King's Cross in just over an hour. It's all beautifully presented.
PORT EAST APARTMENTS, Herstmere Road, Canary Wharf, London E14
Tel: 020-7531 2500
They say: Third-floor two-bed warehouse flat, with two en-suites, large lounge, concierge and parking.
We say: A big, flexible space – but Canary Wharf ain't Manhattan.
A cottage that needs industry...
LAUREL DENE, France Lynch, Gloucestershire
Agent: Jackson-Stops & Staff
Tel: 01285 653 334
They say: Rare example of an unspoilt Grade II-listed cottage in need of renovation. Detached and with views over a valley, it has a good-sized walled garden and potential to extend, subject to planning permission.
We say: At the moment there are two main bedrooms and a third in the attic. Outbuildings are attached but there's no access to them from the house. This place has lots of room for improvement.
Room for improvement...
ST ANNE'S COTTAGE, St Anne's Road, Mountnessing, Essex
Agent: Walkers Country & Equestrian
Tel: 01277 355 777
They say: Substantial detached five-bedroom cottage set in more than two acres in a sought-after village. The accommodation is in need of refurbishment, but there is excellent potential to improve, and planning permission has already been granted for a laundry room.
We say: It's amazing that a house this big can be classed as a cottage. With five bedrooms, would you really need to build an extension to make room for a laundry room? Anyway, the rooms are all well sized, and it's a blank canvas. And a possible clincher: the house is in the catchment area for the Anglo European school, which is offering the Baccalaureate Internationale.
Gardening in the Garden...
LAMB'S CONDUIT STREET, Covent Garden, London WC2
Tel: 020-3040 8300
They say: Two-bedroom flat with its very own private garden.
We say: In this location, with two bathrooms and a garden, who cares that the building's ugly?
Hide and seek...
LITTLE LODGE, The Avenue, Bucklebury, Berkshire
Agent: Strutt & Parker
Tel: 0118 984 5757
They say: A 1920s lodge with four bedrooms set in more than 6.5 acres.
We say: If you like having lots of hidden rooms to escape to, then this is the perfect house.