Cracking up in Moscow

Muscovites were stunned by the sight of the Scots' kilts this week, but not nearly so much as the Tartan Army were to find a Scottish- run nightclub and casino in the Russian capital. "Jacko's Bar", run by a Kilmarnock exile, is in one of the neo-gothic skyscrapers ordered by Stalin after a trip to New York. Pre-match fare featured "lesbian strippers and all-day buffet", though needless to say a few drams were also consumed. So much so that Radio Five Live had to scrap its live phone link-up with the bar, due to what is known in the trade as "a terrible line".

***

Some way south in Georgia, the build-up to the visit of Jrgen Klinsmann and Co was rather more wholesome. Dropping in on Tbilisi's Paychadze Stadium the day before the game, German reporters found local musicians and dancers rehearsing with several hundred students. They were chanting: "Long live sport! We love sport! We love Georgia!" As if to underline that, 75,000 Georgians paid $1.20 per ticket - a sum not to be scoffed at in a country where wages average $2 a month.

***

Barry Hearn, now chairman of Leyton Orient, intends to fill Brisbane Road through promotions, including offering under-16s season tickets for £10. That forward-thinking plan might avoid the problems that family enclosures can run into, as happened at Twerton Park this week. Birmingham fans, desperate to see their Second Division side play Bristol Rovers, tried to borrow "spare" kids from families as a ruse to get into the special section. Stewards were wise to them.

Hearn's plan to stir up Orient is based on expanding the club's good work with the local community. There is a chance to discuss their plans with the man responsible, Neil Watson, at the Football Supporters' Association question time evening at the Ebury Arms, London SW1 on 13 April (All welcome, entrance free).

***

Leicester's promotion to the Premiership may not have been successful but they won the Programme of the Year Award from the Football Programme Directory, beating Norwich, and Middlesbrough, who won the First Division award. Stockport County edged Plymouth Argyle in the Second and Fulham picked up the Third Division prize.

***

Plymouth are facing programme problems, however. The Pilgrims had two home matches called off at short notice in mid-winter. If they re-use the original programmes, punters for Tuesday's game against Bristol Rovers will be greeted by manager's notes penned by Peter Shilton, while Steve McCall's thoughts will be in the programme for the 19 April game against Birmingham. Words of wisdom from the new man in charge at Home Park, Russell Osman, will have to wait.

***

A Wolverhampton barber thinks Wanderers fans will let their admiration of Steve Bull go to their head. An ad in the Express and Star shows one style in a sketch of what looks remarkably like Bully's bonce. It might go down well with the youngsters, but what about the OAPs? Well, the robust Bully might just be thinning on top and and is the colour fading?

Plenty of Kings of the road, a few Dolly Barton's and a Witschge Line Man, But the Wild Turkey Bourbon goes to a Country & Western XI wrapped into a song, by Phillip Hill, of Leicester:

BUTCHER sweet lips a LIDDELL closer to the phone, Let's pretend that WEIR together HALL ALLON, I'll tell AMMAN to THERN the juke box way down LOWE, and you CAN-TWELL your friend there WITHE you he'll have to GOW.

Next week: A Broadcast XI. Entries to: Team Spirit, Football Diary, The Independent, One Canada Square, London E14 5DL.

PROMOTED VIDEO
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Life and Style
tech
News
The 67P/CG comet as seen from the Philae lander
scienceThe most important scientific breakthroughs of 2014
Arts and Entertainment
Ian McKellen as Gandalf in The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies
film
Arts and Entertainment
Sarah Koenig, creator of popular podcast Serial, which is to be broadcast by the BBC
tvReview: The secret to the programme's success is that it allows its audience to play detective
News
Ruby Wax has previously written about her mental health problems in her book Sane New World
people
Caption competition
Caption competition
Latest stories from i100
Daily Quiz
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

Career Services
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Sales Executives - OTE £60,000

£25000 - £60000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Are you passionate about Custom...

Recruitment Genius: Care Workers Required - The London Borough of Bromley

£15000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This homecare agency is based in Beckenh...

Recruitment Genius: Sales Executives - OTE £50,000

£25000 - £50000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Are you passionate about Custom...

Recruitment Genius: Sales Executives - OTE £50,000

£25000 - £50000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Are you passionate about Custom...

Day In a Page

Homeless Veterans appeal: 'You look for someone who's an inspiration and try to be like them'

Homeless Veterans appeal

In 2010, Sgt Gary Jamieson stepped on an IED in Afghanistan and lost his legs and an arm. He reveals what, and who, helped him to make a remarkable recovery
Could cannabis oil reverse the effects of cancer?

Could cannabis oil reverse effects of cancer?

As a film following six patients receiving the controversial treatment is released, Kate Hilpern uncovers a very slippery issue
The Interview movie review: You can't see Seth Rogen and James Franco's Kim Jong Un assassination film, but you can read about it here

The Interview movie review

You can't see Seth Rogen and James Franco's Kim Jong Un assassination film, but you can read about it here
Serial mania has propelled podcasts into the cultural mainstream

How podcasts became mainstream

People have consumed gripping armchair investigation Serial with a relish typically reserved for box-set binges
Jesus Christ has become an unlikely pin-up for hipster marketing companies

Jesus Christ has become an unlikely pin-up

Kevin Lee Light, aka "Jesus", is the newest client of creative agency Mother while rival agency Anomaly has launched Sexy Jesus, depicting the Messiah in a series of Athena-style poses
Rosetta space mission voted most important scientific breakthrough of 2014

A memorable year for science – if not for mice

The most important scientific breakthroughs of 2014
Christmas cocktails to make you merry: From eggnog to Brown Betty and Rum Bumpo

Christmas cocktails to make you merry

Mulled wine is an essential seasonal treat. But now drinkers are rediscovering other traditional festive tipples. Angela Clutton raises a glass to Christmas cocktails
5 best activity trackers

Fitness technology: 5 best activity trackers

Up the ante in your regimen and change the habits of a lifetime with this wearable tech
Paul Scholes column: It's a little-known fact, but I have played one of the seven dwarves

Paul Scholes column

It's a little-known fact, but I have played one of the seven dwarves
Fifa's travelling circus once again steals limelight from real stars

Fifa's travelling circus once again steals limelight from real stars

Club World Cup kicked into the long grass by the continued farce surrounding Blatter, Garcia, Russia and Qatar
Frank Warren column: 2014 – boxing is back and winning new fans

Frank Warren: Boxing is back and winning new fans

2014 proves it's now one of sport's biggest hitters again
Jeb Bush vs Hillary Clinton: The power dynamics of the two first families

Jeb Bush vs Hillary Clinton

Karen Tumulty explores the power dynamics of the two first families
Stockholm is rivalling Silicon Valley with a hotbed of technology start-ups

Stockholm is rivalling Silicon Valley

The Swedish capital is home to two of the most popular video games in the world, as well as thousands of technology start-ups worth hundreds of millions of pounds – and it's all happened since 2009
Did Japanese workers really get their symbols mixed up and display Santa on a crucifix?

Crucified Santa: Urban myth refuses to die

The story goes that Japanese store workers created a life-size effigy of a smiling "Father Kurisumasu" attached to a facsimile of Our Lord's final instrument of torture
Jennifer Saunders and Kate Moss join David Walliams on set for TV adaptation of The Boy in the Dress

The Boy in the Dress: On set with the stars

Walliams' story about a boy who goes to school in a dress will be shown this Christmas