Cracking up in Moscow

Muscovites were stunned by the sight of the Scots' kilts this week, but not nearly so much as the Tartan Army were to find a Scottish- run nightclub and casino in the Russian capital. "Jacko's Bar", run by a Kilmarnock exile, is in one of the neo-gothic skyscrapers ordered by Stalin after a trip to New York. Pre-match fare featured "lesbian strippers and all-day buffet", though needless to say a few drams were also consumed. So much so that Radio Five Live had to scrap its live phone link-up with the bar, due to what is known in the trade as "a terrible line".


Some way south in Georgia, the build-up to the visit of Jrgen Klinsmann and Co was rather more wholesome. Dropping in on Tbilisi's Paychadze Stadium the day before the game, German reporters found local musicians and dancers rehearsing with several hundred students. They were chanting: "Long live sport! We love sport! We love Georgia!" As if to underline that, 75,000 Georgians paid $1.20 per ticket - a sum not to be scoffed at in a country where wages average $2 a month.


Barry Hearn, now chairman of Leyton Orient, intends to fill Brisbane Road through promotions, including offering under-16s season tickets for £10. That forward-thinking plan might avoid the problems that family enclosures can run into, as happened at Twerton Park this week. Birmingham fans, desperate to see their Second Division side play Bristol Rovers, tried to borrow "spare" kids from families as a ruse to get into the special section. Stewards were wise to them.

Hearn's plan to stir up Orient is based on expanding the club's good work with the local community. There is a chance to discuss their plans with the man responsible, Neil Watson, at the Football Supporters' Association question time evening at the Ebury Arms, London SW1 on 13 April (All welcome, entrance free).


Leicester's promotion to the Premiership may not have been successful but they won the Programme of the Year Award from the Football Programme Directory, beating Norwich, and Middlesbrough, who won the First Division award. Stockport County edged Plymouth Argyle in the Second and Fulham picked up the Third Division prize.


Plymouth are facing programme problems, however. The Pilgrims had two home matches called off at short notice in mid-winter. If they re-use the original programmes, punters for Tuesday's game against Bristol Rovers will be greeted by manager's notes penned by Peter Shilton, while Steve McCall's thoughts will be in the programme for the 19 April game against Birmingham. Words of wisdom from the new man in charge at Home Park, Russell Osman, will have to wait.


A Wolverhampton barber thinks Wanderers fans will let their admiration of Steve Bull go to their head. An ad in the Express and Star shows one style in a sketch of what looks remarkably like Bully's bonce. It might go down well with the youngsters, but what about the OAPs? Well, the robust Bully might just be thinning on top and and is the colour fading?

Plenty of Kings of the road, a few Dolly Barton's and a Witschge Line Man, But the Wild Turkey Bourbon goes to a Country & Western XI wrapped into a song, by Phillip Hill, of Leicester:

BUTCHER sweet lips a LIDDELL closer to the phone, Let's pretend that WEIR together HALL ALLON, I'll tell AMMAN to THERN the juke box way down LOWE, and you CAN-TWELL your friend there WITHE you he'll have to GOW.

Next week: A Broadcast XI. Entries to: Team Spirit, Football Diary, The Independent, One Canada Square, London E14 5DL.

Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Caption competition
Caption competition
  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Daily Quiz
Independent Dating

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

Career Services
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Ashdown Group: Data Scientist - London - £50,000 + bonus

£35000 - £50000 per annum + generous bonus: Ashdown Group: Business Analytics ...

Ashdown Group: IT Project Coordinator (Software Development) - Kingston

£45000 - £50000 per annum: Ashdown Group: IT Project Coordinator (Software Dev...

Ashdown Group: Editor-in-chief - Financial Services - City, London

£60000 - £70000 per annum + benefits : Ashdown Group: A highly successful, glo...

Ashdown Group: Junior Application Support Analyst - Fluent German Speaker

£25000 - £30000 per annum + benefits: Ashdown Group: A global leader operating...

Day In a Page

General Election 2015: Ed Miliband's unlikely journey from hapless geek to heart-throb

Miliband's unlikely journey from hapless geek to heart-throb

He was meant to be Labour's biggest handicap - but has become almost an asset
General Election 2015: A guide to the smaller parties, from the the National Health Action Party to the Church of the Militant Elvis Party

On the margins

From Militant Elvis to Women's Equality: a guide to the underdogs standing in the election
Amr Darrag: Ex-Muslim Brotherhood minister in exile still believes Egypt's military regime can be replaced with 'moderate' Islamic rule

'This is the battle of young Egypt for the future of our country'

Ex-Muslim Brotherhood minister Amr Darrag still believes the opposition can rid Egypt of its military regime and replace it with 'moderate' Islamic rule, he tells Robert Fisk
Why patients must rely less on doctors: Improving our own health is the 'blockbuster drug of the century'

Why patients must rely less on doctors

Improving our own health is the 'blockbuster drug of the century'
Sarah Lucas is the perfect artist to represent Britain at the Venice Biennale

Flesh in Venice

Sarah Lucas has filled the British pavilion at the Venice Biennale with slinky cats and casts of her female friends' private parts. It makes you proud to be a woman, says Karen Wright
11 best anti-ageing day creams

11 best anti-ageing day creams

Slow down the ageing process with one of these high-performance, hardworking anti-agers
Juventus 2 Real Madrid 1: Five things we learnt, including Iker Casillas is past it and Carlos Tevez remains effective

Juventus vs Real Madrid

Five things we learnt from the Italian's Champions League first leg win over the Spanish giants
Ashes 2015: Test series looks a lost cause for England... whoever takes over as ECB director of cricket

Ashes series looks a lost cause for England...

Whoever takes over as ECB director of cricket, says Stephen Brenkley
Fishing for votes with Nigel Farage: The Ukip leader shows how he can work an audience as he casts his line to the disaffected of Grimsby

Fishing is on Nigel Farage's mind

Ukip leader casts a line to the disaffected
Who is bombing whom in the Middle East? It's amazing they don't all hit each other

Who is bombing whom in the Middle East?

Robert Fisk untangles the countries and factions
China's influence on fashion: At the top of the game both creatively and commercially

China's influence on fashion

At the top of the game both creatively and commercially
Lord O’Donnell: Former cabinet secretary on the election and life away from the levers of power

The man known as GOD has a reputation for getting the job done

Lord O'Donnell's three principles of rule
Rainbow shades: It's all bright on the night

Rainbow shades

It's all bright on the night
'It was first time I had ever tasted chocolate. I kept a piece, and when Amsterdam was liberated, I gave it to the first Allied soldier I saw'

Bread from heaven

Dutch survivors thank RAF for World War II drop that saved millions
Britain will be 'run for the wealthy and powerful' if Tories retain power - Labour

How 'the Axe' helped Labour

UK will be 'run for the wealthy and powerful' if Tories retain power