Cricket: England fail to learn lessons in art of poise: The tourists stage their customary batting collapse as Malcolm underwhelms on his return

England . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .319

WI Board XI . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .260-5

BY WAY of preparation for the final two Test matches, England's pit stop in Grenada has not been a conspicuous success. If the general idea was to brush up on the things they are not very good at, collapsing with the bat, bowling dross and dropping catches merely re-emphasised qualities they already possess in some abundance.

From an overnight 281 for 4 against a West Indies Board XI, England managed to shed their last six wickets for 18 runs in 10.2 overs, and Philip Tufnell later dropped a return catch off his own bowling. However, as Tufnell had not previously delivered a first- class over since 13 February, he was probably entitled to put this down to loss of memory.

If Tufnell's lack of cricket is even more mysterious, given the general dross served up by the seamers, then England's team selection and strategy here bear the stamp of a side who are not too far away from choosing their next XI with a pin and a blindfold.

Seven batsmen was puzzlingly over the top (unless they felt that a draw would bring a major boost to morale), but not only did they shove their Test match alternatives (Nasser Hussain and Matthew Maynard) down to the Lord Lucan positions at Nos 6 and 7, but by ludicrously employing a nightwatchman on Saturday night, they slipped down another notch to Nos 7 and 8. More appropriate positions would have been the number of runs they ended up with, six and two.

The only batsman with an excuse yesterday was Graham Thorpe, whose limp edge to first slip was followed by a trip to the doctor's, a diagnosis of tonsillitis, and a trip back to bed. It is fast reaching the point when England will only solve their Test match confusion if the sick list expands fast enough to leave them with only 11 fit men.

The last England visit to Grenada was from Len Hutton's 1954 side, who battled back to a 2-2 draw from 2-0 down in the series. However, not only does Mike Atherton's team have the slightly tougher task of recovering from 3-0 down with two to play, but neither are there too many Truemans, Baileys, Mays, and Tysons on this tour.

Grenada, laid-back to the point of not possessing a single traffic light, is an island of outstanding natural beauty, although the cricket ground, incongruously, is a severe blot on the landscape. Its backcloth is a gravel quarry hacked out of the hillside, and the sickly green perimeter fencing is the kind where you half expect to see 'Grenada FC Rules OK' daubed all over it.

The press box is ideally situated, facing directly out to sea, but anyone who cared to swivel their neck 90 degrees on Saturday would have seen some entertaining batting from Alec Stewart and Graeme Hick, a block-and-nudge performance from Mark Ramprakash, and further evidence that Robin Smith looks no closer to emerging from his slump.

Yesterday's subsequent collapse was not so much unexpected as de rigueur, and the bleak scenario then continued when Devon Malcolm's first two serious deliveries since returning after knee surgery were both wide long-hops. Both were crunched to the cover boundary by Phil Simmons.

If Malcolm's line subsequently improved, his pace was hardly frightening, and he was at his liveliest when he picked up a young boy's kite after it had grounded itself on the square. Malcolm got it airborne again, which was a bold thing to do considering that the last England cricketer to fly a kite over a ground on tour (DI Gower) got fined pounds 1,000.

Malcolm (1 for 57 off 12 overs) looked way short of readiness for the Barbados Test, and this also applied to the rest of the attack when the Board XI, 126 for 4 at tea, cut loose to add a further 134 runs for the loss of one more wicket in the final session.

The assault began with a cameo from Philo Wallace, whose batting is usually as volatile as his temperament, and who once got so upset at an umpiring decision that he even outdid Chris Broad - not only demolishing his own stumps, but the set at the other end as well.

Ridley Jacobs, who uses a bat (3lb 5oz) most people would struggle to pick up without risking a hernia, employed it to club six fours and a six in his 41, but the major damage was inflicted by Roland Holder.

Holder was the man dropped by Tufnell when he was on 14, and it was Tufnell (2 for 84 off 26 overs and also plagued by no-balls) who largely suffered for his own lapse as the Barbados captain went on to plunder a violent, unbeaten century.

SCOREBOARD FROM ST GEORGE'S

(Second day of four: WI Board XI won toss)

ENGLAND - First Innings

(Overnight: 281 for 4)

G P Thorpe c Campbell b Cummins . . . . . . . . . . . . . .16

S L Watkin c Wallace b Lewis . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .18

N Hussain b Lewis . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6

M P Maynard c Williams b Cummins . . . . . . . . . . . . . .2

A P Igglesden st Browne b Lewis . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1

P C R Tufnell not out . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5

D E Malcolm b Cummins . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .0

Extras (lb5 nb14) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .19

Total . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .319

Fall (cont): 5-301 6-308 7-313 8-313 9-316.

Bowling: Cummins 21.5-0-82-3; Gibson

18-1-65-1; Antoine 15-1-54-1; Lewis 33-6-95-5; Simmons 6-1-18-0.

WEST INDIES BOARD XI

P V Simmons b Malcolm . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .18

S C Williams c Stewart b Watkin . . . . . . . . . . . . . .30

P A Wallace c Hick b Watkin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .25

* R I C Holder not out . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .108

S L Campbell c sub b Tufnell . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5

R D Jacobs b Tufnell . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .41

C O Browne not out . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .18

Extras (b1 nb14) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .15

Total (for 5) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .260

Fall: 1-40 2-62 3-100 4-121 5-174.

To bat: A C Cummins, E C Antoine, O D Gibson, R N Lewis.

Bowling: Malcolm 12-0-57-1; Igglesden

19-3-68-0; Tufnell 26-7-84-2; Watkin 11-0-43-2;

Hick 2-0-7-0.

Umpires: J W Holder and G Johnson.

(Photograph omitted)

Suggested Topics
Voices
The Sumatran tiger, endemic to the Indonesian island of Sumatra, is an endangered species
voicesJonathon Porritt: The wild tiger population is thought to have dropped by 97 per cent since 1900
News
news
Arts and Entertainment
Story line: Susanoo slays the Yamata no Orochi serpent in the Japanese version of a myth dating back 40,000 years
arts + entsApplying the theory of evolution to the world's many mythologies
Life and Style
Popular plonk: Lambrusco is selling strong
Food + drinkNaff Seventies corner-shop staple is this year's Aperol Spritz
PROMOTED VIDEO
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
News
Gardai wait for the naked man, who had gone for a skinny dip in Belfast Lough
newsTwo skinny dippers threatened with inclusion on sex offenders’ register as naturists criminalised
News
Shake down: Michelle and Barack Obama bump knuckles before an election night rally in Minnesota in 2008, the 'Washington Post' called it 'the fist bump heard round the world'
newsThe pound, a.k.a. the dap, greatly improves hygiene
Arts and Entertainment
La Roux
music
Arts and Entertainment
Graham Fellows as John Shuttleworth
comedySean O'Grady joins Graham Fellows down his local Spar
News
people
News
Ross Burden pictured in 2002
people
News
Elisabeth Murdoch: The 44-year-old said she felt a responsibility to 'stand up and be counted’'
media... says Rupert Murdoch
Arts and Entertainment
tv
Extras
indybest
Caption competition
Caption competition
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Daily Quiz
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

Career Services
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

QA Manager - North Manchester - Nuclear & MOD - £40k+

£35000 - £41000 per annum + competitive: Progressive Recruitment: QA Manager -...

Property Finance Partner

Very Competitive Salary: Austen Lloyd: LONDON - BANKING / PROPERTY FINANCE - ...

Agile Tester

£28000 - £30000 per annum + competitive: Progressive Recruitment: An ambitious...

Senior SAP MM Consultant, £50,000 - £60,000, Birmingham

£50000 - £60000 per annum + Benefits: Progressive Recruitment: Senior SAP MM C...

Day In a Page

A new Russian revolution: Cracks start to appear in Putin’s Kremlin power bloc

A new Russian revolution

Cracks start to appear in Putin’s Kremlin power bloc
Eugene de Kock: Apartheid’s sadistic killer that his country cannot forgive

Apartheid’s sadistic killer that his country cannot forgive

The debate rages in South Africa over whether Eugene de Kock should ever be released from jail
Standing my ground: If sitting is bad for your health, what happens when you stay on your feet for a whole month?

Standing my ground

If sitting is bad for your health, what happens when you stay on your feet for a whole month?
Commonwealth Games 2014: Dai Greene prays for chance to rebuild after injury agony

Greene prays for chance to rebuild after injury agony

Welsh hurdler was World, European and Commonwealth champion, but then the injuries crept in
Israel-Gaza conflict: Secret report helps Israelis to hide facts

Patrick Cockburn: Secret report helps Israel to hide facts

The slickness of Israel's spokesmen is rooted in directions set down by pollster Frank Luntz
The man who dared to go on holiday

The man who dared to go on holiday

New York's mayor has taken a vacation - in a nation that has still to enforce paid leave, it caused quite a stir, reports Rupert Cornwell
Best comedians: How the professionals go about their funny business, from Sarah Millican to Marcus Brigstocke

Best comedians: How the professionals go about their funny business

For all those wanting to know how stand-ups keep standing, here are some of the best moments
The Guest List 2014: Forget the Man Booker longlist, Literary Editor Katy Guest offers her alternative picks

The Guest List 2014

Forget the Man Booker longlist, Literary Editor Katy Guest offers her alternative picks
Jokes on Hollywood: 'With comedy film audiences shrinking, it’s time to move on'

Jokes on Hollywood

With comedy film audiences shrinking, it’s time to move on
It's the best of British art... but not all is on display

It's the best of British art... but not all is on display

Voted for by the British public, the artworks on Art Everywhere posters may be the only place where they can be seen
Critic claims 'I was the inspiration for Blanche DuBois'

Critic claims 'I was the inspiration for Blanche DuBois'

Blanche Marvin reveals how Tennessee Williams used her name and an off-the-cuff remark to create an iconic character
Sometimes it's hard to be a literary novelist

Sometimes it's hard to be a literary novelist

Websites offering your ebooks for nothing is only the latest disrespect the modern writer is subjected to, says DJ Taylor
Edinburgh Fringe 2014: The comedy highlights, from Bridget Christie to Jack Dee

Edinburgh Fringe 2014

The comedy highlights, from Bridget Christie to Jack Dee
Dame Jenny Abramsky: 'We have to rethink. If not, museums and parks will close'

Dame Jenny Abramsky: 'We have to rethink. If not, museums and parks will close'

The woman stepping down as chair of the Heritage Lottery Fund is worried