Ashes Diary: Never pass up a chance to wallow in Aussie misery

Given how considerate of Englishmen's feelings Australians were during their 15-year Ashes tyranny, perhaps it would be better to draw a veil over their current soul-searching. After all, it's not like they rubbed it in every chance they got between 1989 and 2005. Oh, actually they did. In that case let's have a good, heart-warming wallow in Baggy Green misery.

Ron Reed in the Melbourne Herald Sun has decided to cheer up his readers the best way he knows – by clutching at straws. "Not for nothing is 'funny game, cricket' the most well-worn cliché in the whole spectrum of sport," he writes (is it?). "Strange things happen. People find form and they lose it. Nervous tension creeps in – and there's no one more nervous than a nervous Pom."

Others are angrier. One letter writer to The Australian believes the English have been handed a big advantage in terms of support. "Almost as embarrassing as the performance of the Australian cricketers has been the 'home-town' atmosphere the England team has been able to enjoy," writes Trevor Hay, of Western Australia. "Cricket Australia needs to do something to redress the balance. If this means giving away tickets to pensioners, the unemployed or schoolchildren to lift Australia's support in the stands, then so be it."

Spoof advert makes 'good call'

Most of us will have seen adverts for a well-known brand of lager in which two Australians hand out advice to pasty English pillocks. Given Australia is now officially the world's fattest country, it's a somewhat inaccurate representation of the England-Australia relationship, but this should redress the balance: youtube.com/watch?v=3evE7s2LOu8. I like the bit when he gives Ricky Ponting's face the V-sign.

Warne under-funded

And what of the "Bring Back Shane Warne" campaign? The website ( bringbackwarne.com) has been inundated with Aussies pledging their hard-earned since it went up earlier this week but they still look some way short of the sort of dough that might tempt an international jet-setter like Warne back into the game: just over A$4,000 (£2,500) at the time of writing.

Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
News
Jerry Seinfeld Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee
peopleSitcom star urges men to be more supportive of women than ever
Life and Style
Living for the moment: Julianne Moore playing Alzheimer’s sufferer Alice
health
News
Jay Z
businessJay-Z's bid for Spotify rival could be blocked
Sport
footballLouis van Gaal is watching a different Manchester United and Wenger can still spring a surprise
News
The spider makes its break for freedom
VIDEO
Caption competition
Caption competition
Latest stories from i100
Daily Quiz
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

Career Services

Day In a Page

War with Isis: Iraq's government fights to win back Tikrit from militants - but then what?

Baghdad fights to win back Tikrit from Isis – but then what?

Patrick Cockburn reports from Kirkuk on a conflict which sectarianism has made intractable
Living with Alzheimer's: What is it really like to be diagnosed with early-onset dementia?

What is it like to live with Alzheimer's?

Depicting early-onset Alzheimer's, the film 'Still Alice' had a profound effect on Joy Watson, who lives with the illness. She tells Kate Hilpern how she's coped with the diagnosis
The Internet of Things: Meet the British salesman who gave real-world items a virtual life

Setting in motion the Internet of Things

British salesman Kevin Ashton gave real-world items a virtual life
Election 2015: Latest polling reveals Tories and Labour on course to win the same number of seats - with the SNP holding the balance of power

Election 2015: A dead heat between Mr Bean and Dick Dastardly!

Lord Ashcroft reveals latest polling – and which character voters associate with each leader
Audiences queue up for 'true stories told live' as cult competition The Moth goes global

Cult competition The Moth goes global

The non-profit 'slam storytelling' competition was founded in 1997 by the novelist George Dawes Green and has seen Malcolm Gladwell, Salman Rushdie and Molly Ringwald all take their turn at the mic
Pakistani women come out fighting: A hard-hitting play focuses on female Muslim boxers

Pakistani women come out fighting

Hard-hitting new play 'No Guts, No Heart, No Glory' focuses on female Muslim boxers
Leonora Carrington transcended her stolid background to become an avant garde star

Surreal deal: Leonora Carrington

The artist transcended her stolid background to become an avant garde star
LGBT History Month: Pupils discuss topics from Sappho to same-sex marriage

Education: LGBT History Month

Pupils have been discussing topics from Sappho to same-sex marriage
11 best gel eyeliners

Go bold this season: 11 best gel eyeliners

Use an ink pot eyeliner to go bold on the eyes with this season's feline flicked winged liner
Cricket World Cup 2015: Tournament runs riot to make the event more hit than miss...

Cricket World Cup runs riot to make the event more hit than miss...

The tournament has reached its halfway mark and scores of 300 and amazing catches abound. One thing never changes, though – everyone loves beating England
Katarina Johnson-Thompson: Heptathlete ready to jump at first major title

Katarina Johnson-Thompson: Ready to jump at first major title

After her 2014 was ruined by injury, 21-year-old Briton is leading pentathlete going into this week’s European Indoors. Now she intends to turn form into gold
Syrian conflict is the world's first 'climate change war', say scientists, but it won't be the last one

Climate change key in Syrian conflict

And it will trigger more war in future
How I outwitted the Gestapo

How I outwitted the Gestapo

My life as a Jew in wartime Berlin
The nation's favourite animal revealed

The nation's favourite animal revealed

Women like cuddly creatures whilst men like creepy-crawlies
Is this the way to get young people to vote?

Getting young people to vote

From #VOTESELFISH to Bite the Ballot