England left in the dark by autumn schedule

Australia 296-8 England 185

What a joyous day it must have been in the fixtures division of the Cricket Research and Corporate Key Planning Office Trust (Crackpot). How they must have punched the air in triumph when one of their number hit on the idea, doubtless after a long brainstorming session.

"I know, after the Ashes is over let's play seven one-day internationals getting on until the end of September. We could go further and further north as the series progresses, so it's probably going to be played in Arctic temperatures by the time it finishes.

"Then the day after it's all over the teams could fly to the Champions Trophy in South Africa, where all the other countries have been acclimatising for a week. That should ensure that England have even less chance than they would have done, and it was never much, of winning the tournament and meeting one of the prime objectives of the England and Wales Cricket Board's mission statement."

This was met with a round of applause, the opening of a celebratory bottle of sponsors' grog and went through on the nod. Which is why, yesterday, England met Australia in the sixth and apparently penultimate match of this summer's NatWest Series. The home side entered it 5-0 down and even winning the toss on this occasion was beyond them.

They lost by 111 runs after a batting exhibition of ludicrous ineptitude, which left overs unused. England are bereft of confidence, strategy and common sense. They have not so much lost the plot as hurled it into the stratosphere, whence it may never be seen again. For this they can blame themselves to a large degree but the crackpot schedule is also culpable.

The proceedings have taken on a macabre fascination. England are now on the cusp of being the first side to lose a one-day series 7-0, there having been four previous 6-1 margins. The players of both sides are fed up at being involved in such a prolonged event and if they have to go to South Africa for a competition that is also not universally popular they would much rather be there now.

But England's malaise is suddenly deep and comical. Faced with making 297 to win, they lost Andrew Strauss unluckily when he was given out for edging a bouncer he expertly avoided. Rebuilding the innings after the subsequent loss of Joe Denly, Matt Prior and Ravi Bopara (the latter two both run out by Ricky Ponting, embodying the difference between the sides) was beyond them.

Prior was dismissed backing up as Australia's captain picked up, turned and threw as if in one movement. It was sensational. An over later Bopara and Owais Shah were mutually confused after Bopara seemed to call for a quick single then stopped as Shah flew past him, with dead-eye Ponting again hitting at the end to which Bopara was now forlornly running. It was laughable. Shah has now been involved in 14 run-outs in his one-day career.

Thereafter it was merely a case of seeing out the overs – or not. Australia's increasingly clinical approach is utterly at odds with England's chaos and was also rewarded yesterday by their return to the top of the one-day rankings. The tourists made 296 for 8, which looked as though it would be still more during the middle overs.

The innings was built on a partnership of 163 for the third wicket between Tim Paine and Mike Hussey, the highest for Australia's third wicket against England. Paine made his maiden ODI hundred and became Australia's third centurion of the series. England have none. Lest it be forgotten, Paine is Australia's second-string wicketkeeper and was in his seventh match.

The margin might have been uncommonly large but in the office of Crackpot it was exactly what they expected at this time of autumn by a touring side winning the toss in Nottingham.

Scorecard from Trent Bridge

Sixth one-day international. Australia won toss

Australia

S Watson b Anderson 4 9 balls 1 four

†T Paine c Prior b Mascarenhas 111 148 balls 14 fours 1 six

*R Ponting c Sidebottom b Anderson 6 14 balls 1 four

M Hussey c Denly b Swann 65 69 balls 3 fours 2 sixes

C Ferguson b Anderson 6 9 balls

C White c Denly b Anderson 35 23 balls 5 fours 1 six

J Hopes c Strauss b Sidebottom 38 22 balls 6 fours

B Lee run out (Anderson) 0 1 ball

N Hauritz not out 1 2 balls

P Siddle not out 8 3 balls 1 four

Extras (b 1, lb 7, w 14) 22

Total (8 wkts, 50 overs) 296

Fall: 1-19 (Watson), 2-40 (Ponting), 3-203 (Hussey), 4-206 (Paine), 5-220 (Ferguson), 6-273 (White), 7-281 (Lee), 8-288 (Hopes).

Did not bat: N W Bracken.

Bowling: J Anderson 10-0-55-4 (w2) (6-0-21-2, 1-0-4-0, 3-0-30-2), R Sidebottom 9-0-65-1 (w4) (4-0-23-0, 3-0-16-0, 1-0-14-0, 1-0-12-1), D Mascarenhas 10-0-49-1 (6-0-24-0, 2-0-14-0, 2-0-11-1), T Bresnan 9-0-60-0 (w3) (2-0-12-0, 4-0-25-0, 3-0-23-0), G Swann 10-0-48-1 (w1) (2-0-9-0, 4-0-25-0, 4-0-14-1), R Bopara 2-0-11-0 (one spell).

England

*A Strauss c Paine b Lee 0 2 balls

J Denly c Lee b Hopes 25 43 balls 3 fours 1 six

R Bopara run out (Ponting) 24 33 balls 1 four

†M Prior run out (Ponting) 6 8 balls 1 four

O Shah c Watson b Hopes 23 39 balls 1 four

E Morgan c Hussey b Bracken 23 28 balls 2 fours

D Mascarenhas b Hopes 11 20 balls 1 six

T Bresnan not out 31 38 balls 3 fours

G Swann b Bracken 12 15 balls 1 four

R Sidebottom b Siddle 15 16 balls 1 four

J Anderson b Lee 1 7 balls

Extras (lb 3, w 8, nb 3) 14

Total (41 overs) 185

Fall: 1-0 (Strauss), 2-45 (Denly), 3-59 (Prior), 4-60 (Bopara), 5-100 (Morgan), 6-114 (Shah), 7-125 (Mascarenhas), 8-159 (Swann), 9-182 (Sidebottom), 10-185 (Anderson).

Bowling: B Lee 8-0-48-2 (nb2) (4-0-26-1, 4-0—22—1), N Bracken 10-0-42-2 (w2) (1-0-6-0, 7-0-27-1, 2-0-9-1), P Siddle 8-1-22-1 (5-0-14-0, 3-1-8-1), J Hopes 9-0-32-3 (5-0-18-1, 4-0-14-2), N Hauritz 6-0-38-0 (w1nb1) (one spell).

Australia won by 111 runs and lead seven-match series 7-0.

Umpires: Asad Rauf (Pak) & N J Llong Match referee: N L Bainton

PROMOTED VIDEO
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Caption competition
Caption competition
Latest stories from i100
Daily Quiz
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

Career Services

Day In a Page

Isis hostage crisis: The prisoner swap has only one purpose for the militants - recognition its Islamic State exists and that foreign nations acknowledge its power

Isis hostage crisis

The prisoner swap has only one purpose for the militants - recognition its Islamic State exists and that foreign nations acknowledge its power, says Robert Fisk
Missing salvage expert who found $50m of sunken treasure before disappearing, tracked down at last

The runaway buccaneers and the ship full of gold

Salvage expert Tommy Thompson found sunken treasure worth millions. Then he vanished... until now
Homeless Veterans appeal: ‘If you’re hard on the world you are hard on yourself’

Homeless Veterans appeal: ‘If you’re hard on the world you are hard on yourself’

Maverick artist Grayson Perry backs our campaign
Assisted Dying Bill: I want to be able to decide about my own death - I want to have control of my life

Assisted Dying Bill: 'I want control of my life'

This week the Assisted Dying Bill is debated in the Lords. Virginia Ironside, who has already made plans for her own self-deliverance, argues that it's time we allowed people a humane, compassionate death
Move over, kale - cabbage is the new rising star

Cabbage is king again

Sophie Morris banishes thoughts of soggy school dinners and turns over a new leaf
11 best winter skin treats

Give your moisturiser a helping hand: 11 best winter skin treats

Get an extra boost of nourishment from one of these hard-working products
Paul Scholes column: The more Jose Mourinho attempts to influence match officials, the more they are likely to ignore him

Paul Scholes column

The more Jose Mourinho attempts to influence match officials, the more they are likely to ignore him
Frank Warren column: No cigar, but pots of money: here come the Cubans

Frank Warren's Ringside

No cigar, but pots of money: here come the Cubans
Isis hostage crisis: Militant group stands strong as its numerous enemies fail to find a common plan to defeat it

Isis stands strong as its numerous enemies fail to find a common plan to defeat it

The jihadis are being squeezed militarily and economically, but there is no sign of an implosion, says Patrick Cockburn
Virtual reality thrusts viewers into the frontline of global events - and puts film-goers at the heart of the action

Virtual reality: Seeing is believing

Virtual reality thrusts viewers into the frontline of global events - and puts film-goers at the heart of the action
Homeless Veterans appeal: MP says Coalition ‘not doing enough’

Homeless Veterans appeal

MP says Coalition ‘not doing enough’ to help
Larry David, Steve Coogan and other comedians share stories of depression in new documentary

Comedians share stories of depression

The director of the new documentary, Kevin Pollak, tells Jessica Barrett how he got them to talk
Has The Archers lost the plot with it's spicy storylines?

Has The Archers lost the plot?

A growing number of listeners are voicing their discontent over the rural soap's spicy storylines; so loudly that even the BBC's director-general seems worried, says Simon Kelner
English Heritage adds 14 post-war office buildings to its protected lists

14 office buildings added to protected lists

Christopher Beanland explores the underrated appeal of these palaces of pen-pushing
Human skull discovery in Israel proves humans lived side-by-side with Neanderthals

Human skull discovery in Israel proves humans lived side-by-side with Neanderthals

Scientists unearthed the cranial fragments from Manot Cave in West Galilee