England left with a million regrets

Ina grotesque fashion, England spent a week here offering an object lesson. It may be seized on by sports coaches or indeed management gurus in years to come and it could easily be a chapter in a self-help book. It might even be a whole book: How not to win a million.

Everything that England did in conception and preparation for the Stanford Twenty20 seemed to be devised with that objective in mind. As for the eventual execution, it was perfectly conformed to pour money that you do not have down the drain.

The Stanford Twenty20 for $20m (£12.4m) in the Stanford Cricket Ground on Saturday evening went like this: England were all out for 99 in 19.5 overs, the Stanford Superstars reached 101 without loss in 76 balls. It was as rampant a victory and as abject a defeat as those figures suggest, merely exacerbated by the fact that England had been favourites to take the loot.

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Each member of the winning team received $1m – in almost every case for the Superstars a life-altering amount. There was also $1m for the rest of the squad and $1m for the management team, with $7m to be divided between the cricket boards of England and West Indies comprising the rest of the pot. The losers received nothing and, in truth, should have been charged for taking part.

There were at least no excuses. Perhaps there could be none because there were none, but Kevin Pietersen, the losing captain, admirably made no attempt to disguise his side's shortcomings. "I think there is disappointment at just how we as a team have handled the week," he said. "I've said before how we would be diving into the deep waters of uncertainty and we jumped in but not in the right way. We have concentrated too much on peripheral things, listened and read too much in terms of outside distractions. It is our own fault."

From the start, England wanted the money – who wouldn't want a million dollars? – but did not want to be seen to want it. They were painfully aware that the mood among many commentators was that the Big Match was an abomination of sport, existing only to fuel the ego of its architect, the Texan multibillionaire, Allen Stanford, and lacking context in a sporting sense.

This undoubtedly got to England and the cack-handed justifications of their paymasters at the England and Wales Cricket Board must have scrambled their brains further. Is it about the money or isn't it? What is it about? Why am I here?

England and the legions of critics, whose censoriousness could hardly have been matched by a nun in a bordello, forgot one crucial point. There was fun to be had here. It was to be seen in the faces of the crowds throughout the week of the Stanford Super Series, it was obvious in the approach of the Superstars and it was embodied by the man himself. Say what you like about Stanford – and many did – but he knows how to have a good time and how to give others a good time. It was some show on Saturday at the ground he built. The result was perfect and it was of no importance that the Superstars so monopolised the match that it was rendered a non-contest.

The distractions, as Pietersen all but conceded, were of England's own making. The slow pitch was the same for everybody, as were the low-slung floodlights. But by the night of the colloquially known Twenny-twenny-twenny itself both had been fixed. If it was harder to ignore other matters, England should not have been so submerged. "Nobody in the world has ever played for $20m in three hours so as much experience as we've got, coming into this week was huge uncertainty," said Pietersen. "We need to make sure it's a huge learning curve in the next 10 months. We have got some huge series – India in two weeks, the West Indies, who as you've seen are much improved, then the Twenty World Cup and the Ashes.

"There's been a lot of stuff the guys have read, ins and outs, and when we do this next year we have to make sure we buy into and and give it a heck of a go. It hasn't done English cricket any damage, absolute zero." Warming to the ambassadorial nature of his role, Pietersen extended his graciousness to being happy for the winners. "To see a guy fall over in front of me at the end of the game with a million dollars in his bank account and crying is absolutely fantastic. I'm a human being and these guys are fellow professionals. Quite a few are a lot less privileged than me and a lot of our lads. To see them so happy is wonderful."

Chris Gayle, the cool dude who led the Superstars and fashioned them into a unit befitting their extravagant title, propelled them irresistibly to victory. He made 65 from 45 balls after the meat-and drink-accuracy of Darren Sammy and Sulieman Benn exposed England's brainless, helter-skelter batting. "England were distracted and I said to our guys that they shouldn't pay any attention to anything outside cricket," Gayle said. "Pietersen told me he didn't really need the money and we needed it more. Who doesn't need a million? You've got to be crazy. If they didn't want that, you can give it to us and we'll take it."

How they took it, though Gayle confessed to feeling the pressure as the Superstars' six-week training camp went by. "This is better than anything in the world. I'm not going to lie to you."

England at least should have few enduring regrets. Had they lost by a run in a nerve-shredder they might have lamented it for the rest of their lives. But on Saturday night they were as far away from $20m as it is possible to be.

Antigua Scoreboard

*Stanford Superstars v England

Stanford S'stars won by 10 wkts

England Innings

I R Bell b Taylor 7

M J Prior b Taylor 12

O A Shah c D Mohammed b Sammy 4

K P Pietersen b Sammy 7

A Flintoff b Pollard 8

P D Collingwood c Sarwan b Benn 10

S R Patel run out 22

L J Wright c Sammy b Pollard 1

G P Swann b Benn 3

S C J Broad not out 9

S J Harmison b Benn 6

Extras (lb1 w9) 10

Total (19.5 overs) 99

Fall: 1-21 2-22 3-29 4-33 5-51 6-54 7-59 8-64 9-92

Bowling: Sammy 4-0-13-2; Taylor 4-0-25-2; Powell 4-0-18-0; Benn 3.5-0-16-3; Pollard 4-0-26-2.

Stanford Superstars Innings

C H Gayle not out 65

A D S Fletcher not out 32

Extras (lb1 w3) 4

Total 0 wkts (12.4 overs) 101

Did not bat: S Chanderpaul, R R Sarwan, S C Joseph, K A Pollard,

D J G Sammy, S J Benn, D B L Powell, J E Taylor, D Mohammed.

Bowling: Harmison 3-0-30-0; Broad 3-0-24-0; Flintoff 3.4-0-25-0; Patel 1-0-9-0; Collingwood 1-0-4-0; Swann 1-0-8-0.

Umpires: R E Koertzen (South Africa) and S J A Taufel (Australia).

The million dollar men

*Chris Gayle Typically flash, he said he would spend the money, and some of it he will – to fund heart treatment for his brother and father.

*Sylvester Joseph Known hard times and as Antiguan has spent much of career living in Sir Viv Richards' shadow. Not any longer.

*Andre Fletcher Flamboyant batsman-keeper from Grenada. Should now be easily able to afford to come to the London Olympics to watch his sister, should she compete in the 100 metres as she did in Beijing.

*Ramnaresh Sarwan An international for 10 years, this may match the Guyanan's career earnings.

*Shiv Chanderpaul Overdue reward for having carried West Indies' batting for the last three years.

*Kieron Pollard Made his name in the original Stanford Twenty20. Now has a fortune and fame should also await the Trinidadian.

*Darren Sammy Made history by becoming the only West Indian to take seven wickets on Test debut.

*Dave Mohammed Is known as Tadpole because of his physique – can now swim with the sharks.

*Sulieman Benn The left-arm spinner is almost 6ft 8in and should have no trouble in affording trousers to fit from now on.

*Daren Powell He worked for a Kingston paint company. Can now paint the town red.

*Jerome Taylor Picked for West Indies at 18, he was then injured for two years, nearly ending his career.