ELEVEN ASIDES

Sharp shooters: The fastest goal in England yesterday was scored by Andy Hessenthaler of Gillingham after 16 seconds, as they won 2-1 at Cardiff. Watford's Michel Ngonge netted the first goal in the Premiership, although Sunderland won 3-2 at Vicarage Road.

Room for one more? While 276 delirious fans packed into Albion's stadium to watch the Bell's Scottish Third Division side lose 4-1 to Cowdenbeath, a mere 32,936 saw Manchester City surrender 1-0 at Maine Road to Steve Bruce's Huddersfield Town.

Boyling over: Denis Boyle, of Queen of South, lost his cool and was sent off for violent conduct in their 2-0 defeat by Ross County. He joined Cardiff's Russell Perrett, who had been given his marching orders earlier in the day, for serious foul play.

Look out, Beadle's about: Bristol City's Peter Beadle was here, there and everywhere in their match against Notts County. First he scored an own goal in the 29th minute, before making amends and netting City's third in their 4-4 draw.

It's a kid's game: Managerless Blackburn Rovers secured their second successive win, when they overcame Stockport County 2-0. Forget all the big names, why not persuade Tony Parkes?

Busy day for Jermaines: First, the football agent Mark Curtis was fined pounds 7,500 following an investigation into his conduct in the pounds 2m transfer of Jermaine Pennant, from Notts County to Arsenal. Then, QPR's Jermaine Darlington scored his team's first goal as the Londoners held Barnsley to a 2-2 draw.

Does he or doesn't he? "You don't know what you're doing," chanted the Boro crowd after Bryan Robson substituted Juninho. Fair enough, but who does he bring on? Robbie Mustoe of course.

Handbags, handbags: "George Boateng decided to be a ball-player on the edge of our box when he should have belted the ball. I was annoyed," said the Villa boss John Gregory about sending the physio's medical bag flying on the pitch near the end of the match.

Too close for comfort? "Razor said he slid alongside him and didn't make any contact," said Harry Redknapp of the disputed Owen penalty.

Niall on the head: "He's learned what his body is all about," remarked Graham Taylor of Mr Quinn after Watford's 3-2 loss to Sunderland.

Don't speak too soon: "I'm fed up with opposing managers saying we are the best team and we are sure to get promotion," explained Alan Curbishley of Charlton after their 2-2 draw with Port Vale.

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