Flaws of the fantasy final

IT IS part of the FA Cup's rich folklore that few outside their own support remember the losing semi-finalists. Fewer still remember semi- finals. They are means to an end, usually memorable days but forgettable matches. It may be that the neutral will be willing to endure such today should the result be what is perceived as the dream final of Manchester United v Tottenham.

It assumes much. Crystal Palace should have little chance, in theory, of overcoming a United whose appetite for the competition will have increased as the defence of the Premiership has waned but a case for the London team has emerged. Everton's artisans, meanwhile, are well suited to the tense scuffle that a semi-final often is and which can paralyse such artists as Tottenham.

The final four are a little like the choice of numbers facing the contestant in that Channel 4 game show Countdown: one from the top, one from the second row and two from the bottom. But suspensions, injuries, the odd big ban - not to mention the enormity of the occasion - render today a more egalitarian experience than league positions would indicate.

Take Crystal Palace. On Friday, as encouragement, they watched at their south London training ground a videotape of one of the few semi-finals that do stand out, their 4-3 upset of a then rampant Liverpool five years ago. That, too, was at Villa Park. "There was a pattern to the goals," said the Palace manager, Alan Smith, enigmatically.

All cup runs are based on sound defence, and Palace's away record, believe it or not, is the second best - behind Blackburn's - in the Premiership, having conceded only 15 goals. Indeed, remarkably for a team in such deep relegation trouble, theirs is the fourth best defensive record overall in the league.

Scoring goals, or more accurately not doing so, has been the reason for their league travails: 25 in 34 matches. Then again, they have scored that many in 13 cup games in a schizophrenic season that carries echoes of Brighton's Cup final and relegation season of 1983. It should be pointed out that both Brighton and Palace, in the 1990 final, came to grief at United's hands.

Smith believes that the naivety and immaturity his players have shown this season will be cast aside this afternoon. "The players will lift themselves," he said. "It's the bread and butter games we don't do well in." He has set his side a target of 12 points to stay in the Premiership - four wins and no funeral.

Recent additions to the team fuel their cause. In midfield Ray Houghton - whom Smith did not know would be eligible when he was signed from Aston Villa on deadline day - has brought guile and much-needed help to the captain, Gareth Southgate, an often over-willing shoulderer of burdens. "He tends to take things personally and is such a bearer of responsibility," said Smith of the team's heartbeat. "It's a good thing but sometimes he has to be hard enough to look after number one."

Up front, the arrival of the under-rated Iain Dowie, available after suspension, has brought Palace a streak of meanness they have lacked. "He is much more manly than what we have had," said Smith. "And he is at the stage of his career where semi-finals count for a lot. When you are 23 you think you are going to have loads of them and that's not often true." Dowie's muscular presence has also eased pressure on Chris Armstrong, whose flirtation with cannabis and subsequent suspension has undermined his season. Palace will need the form he showed in his comeback when he scored two goals at Wolverhampton in the last round.

They are likely to be at full strength, with an important figure in the left-winger John Salako having recovered from a hamstring tweak. The defenders Chris Coleman and Eric Young spent Friday in oxygen tanks seeking to speed recovery of ankle ligament and groin strains respectively.

Any healing of the rift between Smith and Ron Noades, which seems to centre on the size of the chairman's Bentley being in inverse proportion to the depth of the squad, has been deferred. "The players are very tight. They're in a separate world and won't let it affect them," said Smith. It may, however, do so; it could have the desired effect of uniting them.

Manchester are the more disunited on the pitch at present. Their primary influence, Steve Bruce, is suspended, while further forward Andy Cole is cup-tied and the unsettled Andrei Kanchelskis "highly doubtful" with a stomach injury. Though they have deep reserves, with the lively young Paul Scholes an example, this is a troubling time with goals at a premium lately as the loss of Eric Cantona has caught up with them. It was against Palace that l'affaire Cantona began, which should make for an interesting atmosphere today. And something from which Alex Ferguson might make capital with one of his celebrated Agincourt managerial addresses along the lines of "How much do you want to be winners?"

Everton's position resembles Palace's in that they would gladly swap it for one in the comfort zone of the Premiership. Their manager, Joe Royle, remembers only too vividly the effect of losing a semi-final on his Oldham Athletic team last season when they were relegated. He is again likely to cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war, with five players unleashed across the midfield to bite at the heels of Tottenham's pedigree breed. As many snappers as he can muster, that is, as the aggression Royle has instilled since taking over last November has led to five suspensions.

Duncan Ferguson remains unavailable, as do John Ebbrell and Vinny Samways. In addition, Earl Barrett is cup-tied and Stuart Barlow has an ankle injury. More heartening for them is the recovery from a knee ligament injury of Paul Rideout while Anders Limpar and David Unsworth return from suspension. Limpar is likely to be Rideout's partner up front, though coming from midfield.

Tottenham have their own set of problems, notably at left-back where Justin Edinburgh is suspended and Sol Campbell is struggling with a hamstring problem. Darren Anderton and David Howells walked gingerly around the club's training ground on Friday with heavy strapping to knees. The latter's absence was keenly felt at Southampton last Sunday when, with Gica Popescu also out - though available again today - Tottenham more resembled their old selves as the midfield opened up to allow the home side a path through to a 4-3 win.

It was thus back to basics on the training ground for the Spurs manager Gerry Francis last week, difficult as that was for him as his two-year- old son, Alan, had been admitted to hospital with gastro- enteritis. Francis has also been working on a strategy to cope with the devilish dead-ball kicking of Andy Hinchcliffe. "It worked very well at Goodison when we got a 0-0 draw," he said, though he admitted: "If the delivery is good and they attack the ball, they only need half a yard on a defender or a deflection." As for Everton's approach, he adds: "We are all going to scrap, because the prize is so high."

Should Tottenham counter Hinchcliffe and defend with the determination and organisation that has marked Francis's management of the club, their superior ability further forward should then take over, with Nick Barmby, Teddy Sheringham and Jrgen Klinsmann giving them more sources of invention and goals than Everton can muster. The same should be true of Manchester United, though expressed with less certainty.

A final of United v Spurs has considerable appeal, with both teams capable of fast, flowing football. But semi-finals are no respecters of fantasy, and today is a day for realism. Come to think of it, do we really want another dose of Status Quo and Chas 'n' Dave? On balance, yes we do.

Everton's best chance of a goal - their only chance sometimes it has seemed recently - lies in the dead-ball expertise of Andy Hinchcliffe and, in particular, his potent left foot. Hinchcliffe is to be feared from free kicks around the opposition's penalty area, as he showed in scoring a late winner against Queen's Park Rangers recently, and especially corners from the right. Though Duncan Ferguson is suspended, Hinchcliffe will still seek to whip in corners with the pace and trajectory that so unsettle goalkeepers for Paul Rideout, David Unsworth and Dave Watson, while other Everton players combine to cause as much confusion for defenders as possible to create opportunity for the three. It was the move that brought them victory over Newcastle United in the last round, when Watson scored the only goal.

Everton v Tottenham

Crystal Palace v Manchester Utd

If Crystal Palace are to trouble Manchester United, it will probably be with the pace of John Salako on the left and the finishing ability of Chris Armstrong, barely seen in the Premiership this season but illustrated to best effect in his two goals in the 4-1 replay victory over Wolverhampton Wanderers in the last round. The captain Gareth Southgate will look to feed Salako, who is likely to have the legs on United's inexperienced right-back Gary Neville. Iain Dowie, an underrated bits-and-pieces striker, will seek to get on the end of the cross by pulling away from United's totem Gary Pallister and go more head-to-head with either Roy Keane, deputising for the suspended Steve Bruce, or Denis Irwin. From any knock-down, Armstrong will be expected to pounce.