The textbook for normal footballing etiquette (post-goal revelry) recommends a handshake or a hug at the most - but no mention of lip contact. The televised smacker brought the obligatory Mary Whitehouse-style jamming of the TV station's switchboard.
JACK CHARLTON, a former Newcastle United manager, has bestowed his greatest seal of approval on the current incumbent. 'If Kevin Keegan fell in the Tyne,' Big Jack relates in the latest GQ magazine, 'he would come up with a salmon in his mouth.'
THE DAY of Mark Robins's return to Old Trafford with the Premier League leaders, Norwich City, it seems a fitting time to list a Lilleshall XI, a very attack- minded side led by the 22-year-old Robins, who was in the first batch of graduates from the FA School of Excellence.
LILLESHALL ALUMNI XI: Walker (Tottenham); Small (Aston Villa), Pitcher (Charlton Athletic), Myers (Chelsea), Ebbrell (Everton), Stuart (Chelsea), Flatts (Arsenal), Robins (Norwich), Cole (Bristol City), Littlejohn (Sheffield United), Barmby (Tottenham Hotspur). Substitutes: Miller (Arsenal; gk), Drysdale (Watford), Kavanagh (Derby County), Flitcroft (Manchester City), Turner (Tottenham Hotspur).
LITTLE largesse floating around Underhill nowadays but plenty of large men, according to a full- page advert in the Barnet programme. Who could the following be aimed at? (it's certainly not small Fry): 'Larger Gentlemen - Knitwear up to XXXXXL; Blazers up to 56in; Car coats up to 60in; Shirts up to 21in collar'. You could probably get two together in a pair of the trousers offered - which boast a '60in waist'.
THE Magic Of The Cup, part 657. Forty West Brom fans turned up at Brighton on Saturday, to support non-League Woking. This strange allegiance evolved last year when the unheralded Surrey side knocked the Baggies out of the Cup, performing so attractively they were applauded off the field. 'Whenever we play in the Midlands we're guaranteed to have at least some West Brom fans cheering us on,' Phil Ledger, the Woking secretary, said.
The association grows closer - after the draw at the Goldstone Ground, half the West Brom contingent returned to the Kingfield clubhouse to celebrate. What next? Swapping Christmas presents? Taking holidays together?
ARSENAL and Liverpool will play in the Cup-Winners' Cup next season. The African Cup-Winners' Cup. The Lesotho side, Arsenal, known as the Gunners and proud owners of a Highbury-style strip, have qualified along with Namibia's Prime Press Liverpool.
THERE IS no stopping the spread of Norwich's name. The Canaries have just heard that the Islamabad (Pakistan) Branch of the Norwich City Supporters Club has been inaugurated.
GARY LINEKER'S name keeps cropping up in London's Theatreland. 'An Evening' is returning to the Vaudeville on The Strand and, a short sprint away in Drury Lane, the Oxfam shop has five footballs to give away all emblazoned with Lineker's autograph. Everyone making a purchase next week from Tuesday at the Covent Garden store will receive a raffle ticket and a chance to win a ball.
THE bottle of Aberlour Malt Whisky for alternative fact or figure of the week goes to Jon Ladd, of Bedford, for this Blues news . . .
'Subsequent to their victory against Oldham Athletic on 21 December 1991, Chelsea have played 50 League and Cup matches, scoring 61 times. However, Eddie Newton's brace of goal against Tottenham last Saturday was the first time one of their players had scored more than once in a game during this period.'
Clive Allen was the last. All freak facts and figures to Football Diary, The Independent, 40 City Road, London EC1Y 2DB.Reuse content