Football Diary: Wrong said Fred

REPORTS of the death of Congleton Town's oldest supporter, 85-year-old former ambulance man Fred Cope, turned out to be exaggerated. Chris Phillips, the HFS Loans club's programme editor, was just about to hand out the programmes for the game with Rossendale last Saturday when 'the secretary informed me that Fred had died. So I wrote off an obituary, stapled it into the programme and informed the referee that we needed a minute's silence.'

Just as the players were about to ring the centre-circle, Fred ambled into the ground. 'I had to announce on the Tannoy that the minute's silence would be to honour Bobby Moore,' Phillips added. 'Fred said he wasn't quite ready to go yet.' The man himself said he 'had a few funny looks' when he arrived at Booth Street. 'It wasn't until I saw the programme that I realised why. I've been bad over the last week - but not that bad.' The day then went well: a relieved Congleton won 6-1 and, according to Phillips, 'Fred not only came back from he dead - he won pounds 10 in the half-time raffle'.

KEN BATES'S column in the Chelsea programme has been the most consistent part of the club this season. Consistently readable. In Monday's edition, the bearded bard had a pop at people who accused him of appointing 'puppets' as manager. To prove his point, Bates relates a tale about how hard David Webb has been working. 'At about 7pm last Tuesday I bade him good night, and went to start the Rolls Royce, and failed. After a bit of tinkering I went back upstairs and said 'here, you're supposed to be a second-hand car salesman, come and fix my car'. He followed me outside, and he tinkered with it and diagnosed a faulty starter motor (actually it was a flat battery). He gave the tyre a kick and said 'better call the RAC, guv, I'm a manager now'. Some puppet.'

AWAY TRIPS - Argentine style. Fifty fans of Chacarita Juniors hijacked two Buenos Aires buses to take them to Tigre FC in the capital's suburbs for a Third Division match last weekend. The passengers were kicked off, Chacarita's Barmy Army climbed aboard and then forced the drivers to watch the game before taking them home. Even though the freeloaders were unarmed, the drivers were wise to agree. Chacarita's fans are known as 'The Undertakers'.

PROMINENTLY displayed in a window full of porno videos (like 'Hooker' and 'Lingerie') at The Private Shop in Nottingham is . . . a County shirt. Hard core indeed.

TELEVISION trouble, parts 67 and 68. The organisers of the World Youth Cup are expecting two billion viewers to switch on - but none of them will be British, despite England's presence Down Under. The BBC has 'no plans to buy coverage in' although Match Of The Day may show snippets. BSkyB says the same. Expect frantic rescheduling if Nick Barmby and Co start banging them in.

The BBC also discussed the idea of showing England's 1970 match with Brazil as a tribute to Bobby Moore but considered their splendid midweek eulogy to be sufficient. Whenever a major fim star passes away, restrospective seasons normally follow. It seems sad that the Beeb cannot find a slot to honour Moore's finest moment, his Guadalajara duel with Pele.

ASTON VILLA have lowered prices to increase attendances; Barnet have achieved the same aim by transfer-listing all their players. Following Stan Flashman's offer of 11 together, scouts from Barclays and Premier League clubs have been rushing to Underhill - 34 attended Tuesday's win over Gillingham.

THE Aberlour Malt for alternative statistic of the week goes to Tony Beecroft, of Malvern, for this . . .

'By the end of last weekend, the clubs in the First Division had played 375 League matches this season. They had acquired 1,020 points and, in doing so, had scored 1,020 goals.'

All freak facts to Football Diary, The Independent, 40 City Road, London EC1Y 2DB.

News
Bobbi Kristina Brown with her mother Whitney Houston in 2011
people
News
The actress Geraldine McEwan was perhaps best known for playing Agatha Christie's detective, Miss Marple (Rex)
peopleShe won a Bafta in 1991 for her role in Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit
News
The guide, since withdrawn, used illustrations and text to help people understand the court process (Getty)
Ministry of Justice gets law 'terribly wrong' in its guide to courts
News
Starting the day with a three-egg omelette could make people more charitable, according to new research
scienceFeed someone a big omelette, and they may give twice as much, thanks to a compound in the eggs
PROMOTED VIDEO
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
News
newsPatrick Cockburn was able to update his agenda-setting 'The Rise of Islamic State' while under attack in Baghdad
News
Robert Fraser, aka Groovy Bob
peopleA new show honours Robert Fraser, one of the era's forgotten players
Life and Style
Torsten Sherwood's Noook is a simple construction toy for creating mini-architecture
tech
News
Top Gun actor Val Kilmer lost his small claims court battle in Van Nuys with the landlord of his Malibu mansion to get back his deposit after wallpapering over the kitchen cabinets
people
Sport
David Silva celebrates with Sergio Aguero after equalising against Chelsea
footballChelsea 1 Manchester City 1
News
i100
News
peopleHere's what Stephen Fry would say
Arts and Entertainment
tv
News
Richard Dawkins is known for his outspoken views
people
Life and Style
L’Auberge du pont de Collonges (AFP)
food + drinkFury at British best restaurants survey sees French magazine produce a rival list
Arts and Entertainment
Bourne's New Adventures dance company worked with 27 young Londoners to devise a curtain-raiser staged before New Adventures' performance of Edward Scissorhands
theatreStar choreographer Matthew Bourne gives young carers a chance to perform at Sadler's Wells
Caption competition
Caption competition
Latest stories from i100
Daily Quiz
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

Career Services
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Online Media Sales Trainee

£15000 - £30000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Now our rapidly expanding and A...

Recruitment Genius: Public House Manager / Management Couples

£15000 - £20000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Are you passionate about great ...

Recruitment Genius: Production Planner

£20000 - £30000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This fast growing reinforcing s...

Recruitment Genius: General Factory Operatives

£18000 - £35000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This fast growing reinforcing s...

Day In a Page

As in 1942, Germany must show restraint over Greece

As in 1942, Germany must show restraint over Greece

Mussolini tried to warn his ally of the danger of bringing the country to its knees. So should we, says Patrick Cockburn
Britain's widening poverty gap should be causing outrage at the start of the election campaign

The short stroll that should be our walk of shame

Courting the global elite has failed to benefit Britain, as the vast disparity in wealth on display in the capital shows
Homeless Veterans appeal: The rise of the working poor: when having a job cannot prevent poverty

Homeless Veterans appeal

The rise of the working poor: when having a job cannot prevent poverty
Prince Charles the saviour of the nation? A new book highlights concerns about how political he will be when he eventually becomes king

Prince Charles the saviour of the nation?

A new book highlights concerns about how political he will be when he eventually becomes king
How books can defeat Isis: Patrick Cockburn was able to update his agenda-setting 'The Rise of Islamic State' while under attack in Baghdad

How books can defeat Isis

Patrick Cockburn was able to update his agenda-setting 'The Rise of Islamic State' while under attack in Baghdad
Judith Hackitt: The myths of elf 'n' safety

Judith Hackitt: The myths of elf 'n' safety

She may be in charge of minimising our risks of injury, but the chair of the Health and Safety Executive still wants children to be able to hurt themselves
The open loathing between Barack Obama and Benjamin Netanyahu just got worse

The open loathing between Obama and Netanyahu just got worse

The Israeli PM's relationship with the Obama has always been chilly, but going over the President's head on Iran will do him no favours, says Rupert Cornwell
French chefs get 'le huff' as nation slips down global cuisine rankings

French chefs get 'le huff' as nation slips down global cuisine rankings

Fury at British best restaurants survey sees French magazine produce a rival list
Star choreographer Matthew Bourne gives young carers a chance to perform at Sadler's Wells

Young carers to make dance debut

What happened when superstar choreographer Matthew Bourne encouraged 27 teenage carers to think about themselves for once?
Design Council's 70th anniversary: Four of the most intriguing prototypes from Ones to Watch

Design Council's 70th anniversary

Four of the most intriguing prototypes from Ones to Watch
Dame Harriet Walter: The actress on learning what it is to age, plastic surgery, and her unease at being honoured by the establishment

Dame Harriet Walter interview

The actress on learning what it is to age, plastic surgery, and her unease at being honoured by the establishment
Art should not be a slave to the ideas driving it

Art should not be a slave to the ideas driving it

Critics of Tom Stoppard's new play seem to agree that cerebral can never trump character, says DJ Taylor
Bill Granger recipes: Our chef's winter salads will make you feel energised through February

Bill Granger's winter salads

Salads aren't just a bit on the side, says our chef - their crunch, colour and natural goodness are perfect for a midwinter pick-me-up
England vs Wales: Cool head George Ford ready to put out dragon fire

George Ford: Cool head ready to put out dragon fire

No 10’s calmness under pressure will be key for England in Cardiff
Michael Calvin: Time for Old Firm to put aside bigotry and forge new links

Michael Calvin's Last Word

Time for Old Firm to put aside bigotry and forge new links