Football: Quotes Of the week

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Don't you get knighted if you score a hat-trick at Wembley?

Kevin Keegan, on Paul Scholes' three goals against Poland

That stands for Motivated Person, guru of personal re-invention.

Mr Mac Motivator, on the description of himself on his business card as "Watt Nicoll MP"

I'm going to get my teeth fixed then open an account with Ladbrokes.

Jockey Jamie Osborne, on announcing his retirement

I never asked to be a hero. I've never been asked to be put up there. I've never portrayed myself as being perfect.

Will Carling

I felt no pain at all. There was just a warm feeling where my ear was. I put my hand up and then blood started rushing out.

Rugby union player Steve Pearce, of Whitland in the Welsh National League, whose ear was ripped off when it got caught in another player's shorts pocket

I was freaking out. They were in a feeding frenzy just beneath me.

Surfer Taj Burrow after sharks interrupted the final of the Masters tournament in Australia

Being inside has given me a fresh perspective on life.

Dean Reynolds, who was released from prison to take part in the World Snooker Championship qualifiers this week