Find a No 2: If Robson, 66, opts for Don Howe - who assisted him when England manager - their combined age, 130, would far exceed the club's, 118.
Make Shearer smile: Apparently Colin Montgomerie does one-to-one tutelage.
Make "Big Dunc" score: Just two league goals since his pounds 8m arrival from Everton last November. That's pounds 4m per goal. Maybe new blood? How much for the lad Guivarc'h?
Avoid promises: "No sexy football please, we're British."
Brush up on foreign languages: Having taken charge of clubs in Canada, England, Holland, Portugal and Spain, he has sound language skills, which are vital in a multi-cultural dressing-room. Oh, and he speaks fluent Geordie too.
Plug the leaky defence: The team have conceded 18 goals in their first five matches. Why not revert to the Kevin Keegan philosophy: attack is the best form of defence?
Radical thinking: Promote Ruud's mate Rob Lee and relegate Kieron Dyer to the reserves. That'll confuse 'em.
Avoid long-distance travel: Following Gullit's controversial comings and goings, it is crucial to live locally. So will it be the cottage in Suffolk or the villa in Spain?
Get win under belt: Oh, that. Maybe not on Saturday at Chelsea. Must be The Owls at home on the 19th. He'd luv it.Reuse content