Football: The Sweeper: In t'net

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The Independent Online
Found on the Web: Hoddle's cartoon England.

THIS SITE provides evidence - via a South Park-style cartoon - that the England manager is an alien and that Wembley Stadium is his space ship. The site also features two games: in `Swedish balls-up', you control Michael Owen as he attempts to head meatballs - served across the screen by Ulrika Jonsson in a bikini - into Hoddle's mouth, and in `Kickham', you steer a Beckham lookalike around a pitch and help him trip Argentinian players while he is being distracted by Posh Spice flashing her underwear.

Seen but not bought

NEVER HAS there been a better time for Spurs fans to nip down to White Hart Lane and stock up on night attire. The series of games against Wimbledon is so soporific a few extra pairs of pyjamas won't go amiss and the club shop can provide many options. The real bargains come in the sale though, so what better for the retiring supporter than Tottenham leather moccasin slippers, in a range of sizes, originally costing up to pounds 14.99 per pair, but now reduced to as little as pounds 6? A win, perhaps?