Football: The Sweeper - Mascot on the mat

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The Independent Online
Name: Rockin' Robin.

Club: Wrexham.

Appearance: A big, red-breasted bird with a yellow face and brown boots.

Crime sheet: A trouble-maker from the moment he was hatched, this rampant robin has left damage and destruction wherever he's gone. The Welsh wildman (if that's not tautological) has set off a fire extinguisher before a game, ridden onto the pitch on a bike and tried to run over a linesman (for which he was sent off by the club's managing director) and dug huge divots from the ground with a pitchfork. Among his other acts of skulduggery are poking fun at the linesmen - he waves his own flag when the ball goes out of play - and running onto the pitch waving a pole (another early bath offence). It is to be hoped that marriage to his girlfriend Tina Turfit (Simply the Red Breast) will tame this rascal.

In mitigation, Your Honour: Since the announcement of his marriage, Rockin' has promised to become a reformed bird.

Other information: He may seem a nasty piece of work, but Rockin' Robin is just a big-hearted, big-breasted tweetie-pie who wants to be loved by an ageing rock star.