Something for a Wednesday

It's Squeaky Bum Time For... Lady Luck

The good Lady has got her work cut out tonight to hand Man U victory against all the odds once again. But she's done it three times down the years so she's well versed. In '68, with the score 1-1 at 89 minutes, Benfica's Eusebio should have beaten Alex Stepney when one-on-one only for the great striker to scuff his lines. United won 4-1 after extra time. In '99, Bayern had all but tied the ribbons on the Cup before Teddy and Olly popped up in injury time to steal it 2-1. And, of course, last season if John Terry had worn boots rather than slippers to take his pen, it would have been oh so different. One more slice of lucky pie, anyone?

I Don't Want That One... The Man Utd muscle top

Fergie must have had a good lunch before yesterday's presser, to judge by the way he's bulging out of his special Champions League final polo shirt. The top is bad enough but when tucked so tightly into his shell-suit tracky trousers it's not a good look. What would United's fashion guru Rio say?

You What? Anderson

Obviously thinking he's more Pamela Anderson than just plain old Anderson, the United midfielder has promised to "strip myself butt-naked and run round the stadium if I score" in tonight's final. Those of a sensitive nature should be OK, though, the Brazilian has yet to find the net in two years at the club.

Cheeky Flutter... Making money

Ronaldo to be booked for diving: 10-1