Nil-nil desperandum as Germans are given a thick ear

Imre Karacs
Monday 08 October 2001 00:00 BST
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It was not the legs that failed Bierhoff and Co, nor were the Germans lacking in their customary fighting spirit. The malaise, judging by the post-mortems in the domestic press, lay elsewhere: in the grey matter.

"You are too stupid for the World Cup," declared the tabloid Bild am Sonntag the day after the national team missed the easiest of chances to qualify for next year's finals. Or, to quote another Bild headline: "We are super-cretins." There was, of course, a master plan. Otto Rehhagel, one of the best German coaches around, had taken over the Greek national team. "Help us, Otto," a poster implored in the packed Schalke stadium in Gelsenkirchen on Saturday when Germany met Finland.

To everyone's amazement, Otto did just that: robbing England of the victory everyone had taken for granted. All the Germans had to do at this point was to scramble the ball once into the Finnish goal. They failed – the games ended in a 0-0 draw – and now they have been elected by the paper Welt am Sonntag "dummies of the nation".

Say what you like about German football, but stupidity has never been a problem in the past. There have been tournaments won with mediocre players marshalled by supreme strategists, some on the pitch. Opponents were often outsmarted rather than outplayed. Now, if we are to believe the German press, the nation that produced footballing brains of the calibre of Franz Beckenbauer and Jürgen Klinsmann has been dumbed down.

Whether this analysis can withstand closer examination remains doubtful. Germany keeps coming up with excuses for the evident decline of the national game, and every time the fault is fixed, a new one emerges. Rudi Völler is the third coach since the last World Cup. He was credited with restoring team spirit, rekindling the joy of skilful play, and he even won a lot of matches.

Then the sky caved in on 1 September, and a nation of 80 million self-declared football experts are now fumbling around in the dark for an explanation. The obvious one, namely that the country might not be able to muster 11 players capable of beating Finland on an off-day, is the hardest to accept. After all, this country still regards itself a football super-power. At half-time at the Schalke stadium on Saturday, the fans booed the players; not just because the scoreline was deadlocked at 0-0, but mainly because they were playing so badly. Today's players carry the burden of expectations ordained by a glorious history.

Of course they were not so stupid as to think that they could qualify by drawing with Finland. They did try very hard, but, presented with open chances, Oliver Bierhoff managed to hit only the woodwork and the Finnish goalkeeper. He is now vilified for the fiasco, even though he was the only player who could at least shoot on target.

The rest were simply dreadful, still caught in a daze from that terrible day in Black September. "In the first half, the 1-5 against England was still in the team's head," Völler admitted afterwards.

Now they must quickly shake off the blues, cancel the post-qualification friendlies, and get ready for a winter trip to Ukraine. By then some of their injured key players should be back, so there is hope.

Hope that by 2006, when Germany stages the competition, they will again have a world-beating team. For even if Germany qualifies through the back door for 2002, no one is so stupid as to suggest that the present crop of players can bring something back from Asia. Reality is slowly beginning to dawn.

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