Bonjour, Daveed! David Beckham puppet given a Parisian welcome
TV satire shows the PSG star as the Pope - and persuading the president to get a tattoo
Thursday 14 February 2013
David Beckham is officially part of French life. Becks has yet to play a single minute for Paris Saint-Germain but his effigy has made its debut on the popular TV satirical puppet show, Les Guignols de l’info.
A not entirely convincing Beckham puppet, speaking Franglais with a heavy English accent, dominated the 10-minute spoof news programme on Wednesday night.
A “new Pope” turned out to be Pope David. A puppet version of the French First Lady, Valérie Trierweiler, attempted to convince a puppet President François Hollande to visit a tattoo parlour because “Daveed’s” tattoos were “très sexy”. A suave Dominique Strauss-Kahn puppet, wearing a leopard-skin dressing gown, welcomed Beckham’s arrival in French football. Why? “He will attract a whole lot of sexy, excited, frustrated women,” the former head of the IMF cooed.
Even more excited was the puppet Nicolas Sarkozy. He and Beckham had lived parallel lives, he pointed out. “We are both good-looking boys with charisma and famous pop-singer wives.”
Just as Becks had made a comeback in 2013, he, Sarkozy, would make a comeback in the presidential election in 2017. The Sarkozy puppet pointed out that he had four years to “tattoo myself all over so that I can run for president wearing nothing but underpants”.
The real Beckham attracted photographers and TV crews from all over the world when he joined a Paris Saint-Germain training session for the first time on Wednesday. He could make his debut for PSG in a French first division match at Sochaux this Sunday – or more likely in a cup game the weekend afterwards. On his visits to Paris for matches and training sessions, Beckham will live – at PSG’s expense – in the €17,000 (£14,600) a night “imperial suite” at the Hotel Bristol near the Elysée Palace.
This is the Parisian hotel favoured by Hollywood stars and Arab princes. Beckham can claim to be a little of both. He used to play for LA Galaxy and PSG are the property of the government of Qatar. When he signed for the Paris club two weeks ago, it announced that Beckham would give his wages to a children’s charity in the Paris area. The name of this charity has still to be specified by PSG.
Puppet masters my brush with 'Les Guignols'
Beckham’s arrival on the satirical latex puppet show Les Guignols de l’info is a great personal disappointment. Six years ago, the show occasionally used a “British journalist” puppet, who looked and sounded remarkably like me.
The puppet’s name was John. His role was to comment disparagingly on the work of French journalists (something that the real me would never dream of doing).
The “John” puppet has not appeared for many years. All the same, with Beckham’s arrival, I have to acknowledge that I am now only the second most handsome Englishman to have had his own puppet on the Canal+ television show.
Latest in Sport
Commonwealth Games 2014: Australia launch Glasgow swimwear - but are criticised for drawing attention to the 'crotch' area
Borussia Dortmund vs Arsenal: Jurgen Klopp concerned with Dortmund injuries and praises signings of Danny Welbeck and Alexis Sanchez
Alexis Sanchez: The many (animated) faces of Arsenal's Chilean forward
Hull City vs West Ham match report: Enner Valencia stars as honours shared at the KC Stadium
Cristiano Ronaldo to Manchester United: Ramon Calderon claims Real Madrid star is 'fed up'
- 1 Scottish independence: Ireland since 1919 is a lesson for Scotland in what a Yes vote means
- 2 Thailand deaths: Pair's bloodied bodies found naked on Koh Tao beach
- 3 Lego breaks out of the toy box and heads for the gallery
- 4 Julian Assange and Edward Snowden join piracy mogul Kim Dotcom’s political campaign in New Zealand
Daniele Watts: Django Unchained actress detained by Los Angeles police after being mistaken for a prostitute
The political class is doing what Hitler couldn’t – destroying Britain
Scottish independence: Nationalist leader Jim Sillars threatens pro-union companies with 'day of reckoning' after independence
Scottish independence: Yes campaign feels the heat as Alex Salmond's NHS claims come under furious attack
£23m Birmingham cycle scheme is attacked by Tory councillor for not catering to the elderly
Salmond accused of laughing off national debt with ‘what are they going to do: invade?’ joke