Luis Suarez, Gary Neville, Paul Scholes, Clive Tyldesley - Quotes of the Year, part I

It was the year Luis Suarez ‘lost my balance and hit my face’, Phil Neville talked some nonsense in Brazil and pundits got us in a twist (again)

Click to follow
The Independent Online

PRINCES OF PUNDITRY

I think Villa, like in 1999, as Prince once said, will be too strong for Newcastle.

Steve McManaman

 

Wenger and Mourinho were acting like a couple of teenage 12-year-olds.

John Hartson

 

I’ve got one word for Wenger and Mourinho: grow up.

Hartson

Wenger-2048.jpg
Arsene Wenger and Jose Mourinho clash on the touchline

 

Aston Villa have been out in the bewilderness for a few years.

Dwight Yorke

 

Not many players get three cracks of the cherry.

Adrian Chiles

 

Özil did everything right. He just missed the ball.

Michael Owen

 

A few expletatives being shouted there.

Owen

 

Many of the Iranian players show their Christian names on their shirts.

Clive Tyldesley, ITV commentator

Iran-v-Nigeria.jpg
Iran during the World Cup

 

Legia Warsaw fielded an illegitimate player.

Mick Quinn

 

Your chest is different to your head.

Glenn Hoddle

Alexis Sanchez is a little man but he’s a big man.

Martin Keown

--

NEVILLE’S ADVOCATE

The BBC have just made one change for the second half. They’ve taken off Phil Neville and brought on a speak-your-weight machine.

Danny Baker on Twitter during the World Cup

 

Phil Neville could make “Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah” sound like a cancer diagnosis.

Frankie Boyle

p38nevilleBBC.jpg
BBC co-commentator and pundit Phil Neville

 

The situation’s crying out for Danny Welbeck to break his neck.

Phil Neville

 

Sometimes you need the cherry on the cake to unlock a door.

Neville

--

KLOSE TO PERFECTION

It was always my dream to be up there just once getting the trophy, not having to stand around applauding others.

Miroslav Klose on Germany’s World Cup joy

 

We’re sorry for ourselves and for the people. The pain’s immense, the sadness for life.

Javier Mascherano of beaten finalists Argentina

 

There are good calibre players in my team but Messi is from Jupiter.

Stephen Keshi, Nigeria coach

 

I lost my balance, making my body unstable and falling on top of my opponent. I hit my face against the player, leaving a small bruise on my cheek and a strong pain in my teeth.

Luis Suarez explains why he bit Italy’s Giorgio Chiellini

 

Maybe Louis does have a golden willy.

Arjen Robben after Van Gaal’s Netherlands fortuitously beat Mexico

 

A crazy game. We could’ve scored five. Oh right, we did score five.

Robin van Persie after the Dutch routed Spain 5-1

 

I want to do things in my community, get out of the public eye, just be normal. You get your 15 minutes of fame, I hear, and I’ve had 14. The clock’s ticking.

Tim Howard, United States goalkeeper, on  his American cult status post-Brazil

Tim-Howard.jpg
Tim Howard's Wikipedia page was changed to claim he was the new Secretary of Defence of the USA

 

Some players act as if they’ve lost a limb when they get grazed by an opponent. Others spend so much time writhing on the ground it looks as though their jerseys are on fire.

Nancy Armour, ‘USA Today’ columnist

--

DEAD TO THE WORLD

I thought it was some of the best football England have played in a competitive game – and definitely in a World Cup – for 10 or 15 years.

Gary Neville, England coach... after defeat by Italy

 

The England coach said I was a proven Premier League player, but not world-class. So there is the answer.

Suarez on Roy Hodgson after scoring twice for Uruguay v England

England-squad.jpg
England players react after elimination from the World Cup

 

Flights to Rio £1,200

Enjoying the ambiance £2,000

Accommodation £2,000

Arriving after elimination – priceless

Sign at England’s game against Costa Rica

 

We go to a World Cup with a centre-forward scoring goals and play him left-wing. In which other country does the centre-forward and best goalscorer play on the left? None of them.

Paul Scholes on Hodgson’s use of Wayne Rooney

 

I swear all the time. I played non-league with dockers, whose every other word was a swear word. They didn’t even know they were swearing because they didn’t know any other words.

Hodgson after using profanities before an England Euro qualifier

Phil Shaw is the author of ‘The Book of Football Quotations’ (Ebury Press, £14.99)

Comments