Matt Gatward: Chiles looks solid selection to keep lid on expectations
View From The Sofa: World Cup warm-up matches, ITV
Monday 31 May 2010
Steve Ryder must know how Jimmy Greaves feels. There he was happily playing up front for ITV, leading the line-up, playing in all the friendlies, fit and firing and looking forward to a starring role in the World Cup.
Then, with just two warm-up matches to go before the tournament proper gets going, Ryder opens the changing-room door, heads for his favourite corner and there's Adrian Chiles slumped in his spot, tracksuit top hanging on his peg. Ryder looks at the teamsheet pinned on the wall and, sure enough, he's not on it. Chiles is the new No 1. His shot at World Cup glory gone.
At least Greaves could point to an injury that so famously cleared the way for Geoff Hurst in 1966. Ryder, although no young dasher any more, was probably feeling as flexible as ever and would doubtless have backed himself to beat Chiles, who never looks in the best of shape, over a 100 metres dash. (Maybe ITV could set that up?) But such is life in international football. When the gaffer's made his mind up...
So, with Ryder elbowed to the dug-out, Chiles made his debut on Monday night as England took on Mexico at Wembley and then followed it up with yesterday's Japan match from Austria. And, as Steve had probably feared, he did a fine job, apart from the odd misplaced pass, in his understated way we're so used to from his Match of the Day Two days.
Although it can obviously do nothing about the Chiles slouch, ITV has tried to tidy him up. The slightly crumpled shirt from MOTD2 has been thrown into the corner of the bedroom and replaced by an ironed one with tie and jacket, although somehow Chiles still looks uncomfortable with his top button done up. But the low-key demeanour remains. Happily, and maybe deliberately, it seems to mirror the Fabio Capello-engendered mood of the England players who normally, about this time before a World Cup, are talking of winning the thing and whipping the nation's St George's flag wavers into a frenzy.
If only Peter Drury in the commentary box could be similarly calm. England had barely been swamped by the first Mexican wave before he was talking of Capello's boys lifting the trophy. With Andy Townsend at his side they make a slightly uncomfortable pair. It feels a bit like ITV's version of playing Emile Heskey and Wayne Rooney up front – it worked in qualifying so stick with it.
Townsend, though, does have a marvellous ability to mix his past and present tenses, which is not easy if you try it yourself. "Ledley King too easy got beat there as well," was just one example from Monday.
The pair also let themselves down when Mexico scored (so they know how Leighton Baines feels). It was obviously a goal but seemed to dumbfound the commentary box boys. Mind you, Guillermo Franco notched, which, as West Ham fans would attest, is a rare sight so maybe that explains the confusion.
Drury: "Marquez... off the line... and again. Leighton Baines."
A long delay. Townsend:
"He's give it." (There he goes again with his tense thing).
Drury: "He's given a goal. From Franco. Well, this is a tight, tight call. [No it's not, Peter, it's clearly gone in.] Leighton Baines was the man on the line, Guillermo Franco of West Ham is claiming it... [He's claiming it because he's scored it, Peter]."
Drury and Townsend want to be careful. As Ryder and Greaves will tell them, it doesn't take much for your parking spot to be handed to another.
Latest in Sport
Jay Hart sex tape: Clitheroe footballer sacked after being filmed having sex with unknown blonde woman in manager's dug-out
Floyd Mayweather vs Manny Pacquiao: What time does it start and where can I watch it?
Radamel Falcao to Liverpool: Agent of Manchester United striker 'makes contact' with Anfield
Cesc Fabregas in Premier League title dig at Arsenal after pointing out '27 year wait'
Mario Balotelli incident leaves Brendan Rodgers fuming after Liverpool's FA Cup exit to Aston Villa
- 1 Rarest Beanie Baby bought for just £10 at car boot sale could be sold for £62,500 on eBay
- 3 Giorgio Armani criticises the way some gay men dress saying 'a man has to be a man'
If I’m being racially abused I don’t need a stranger with a saviour complex to rescue me
The only black face in the Ukip manifesto is on the page about overseas aid
Ukip is the only main political party to not address LGBT rights in its manifesto
Food banks: One million Britons will soon be using them, according to Trussell Trust
Religion isn't growing, it is becoming vigorous in its demise, says philosopher AC Grayling
BBC election debate: The one photo that summed up the whole 90-minute leaders debate