Smudger Smith: Cheerio, then, lad – it's been simply pants
The Journeyman Pro
Saturday 18 May 2013
In a professional career spanning almost two decades, Simon "Smudger" Smith has played for over 67 clubs and has reinvented himself time and again, from poacher to goalkeeper.
I never really thought David Beckham was the retiring type when I saw him standing around in his pants on massive billboards but apparently he’s packing it in.
I’ll never forget when I introduced a certain Man United midfielder to a certain Spice Girl. It was Scholesy and Mel C. Obviously they bonded due to their mutual love of sport but unfortunately it didn’t work out. Apparently, the shy lad just couldn’t get on with her friends.
Speaking of Scholes, all credit to the United fans for the standing ovation his substitution got last weekend. It was a pleasure to see a manager get so much credit for a shrewd change. Sometimes a player is just having a bad day at the office, be it his debut or final ever home match.
If ever a match was Wigan’s cup final, it was surely the clash with Arsenal last Tuesday night. Sadly, they lost and went down but they can take some consolation from winning the other cup final three days earlier. I’ll never forget my own perfect Wembley day. It really was an incredible display from Simply Red. Roberto Mancini will be disappointed to have lost both the game and his job but he can leave Manchester with his head held high – I’m told that scarf provides excellent neck support.
Poor old Benfica. Not only did they blow the league 2-1 in the 92nd minute, they did the same in the Europa League final. They missed so many chances and, listening to the commentary, it did make me think it’s surely advisable to wear your shooting boots every game as a professional footballer. Ivanovic had the good sense to pack his heading head at least and nodded home the winner. Congratulations to Chelsea and Luis Suarez – I gather he made a killing after putting a chunk of the defender’s arm on eBay soon after the match.
Follow me on @smudgersmithpro
Latest in Sport
Gareth Bale to quit Real Madrid? Wales international will 'resist' interest from Manchester United and Chelsea
Floyd Mayweather vs Manny Pacquiao: Zab Judah denies flooring Mayweather during sparring as he prepares for 2 May
Malaysian GP 2015: Silverstone chief warns European Grands Prix are in peril without government funding
Perro Aguayo Jr. dead: Funeral for Mexican wrestler Pedro Aguayo Ramirez as Rey Mysterio Jr. receives death threats
Malaysian GP 2015: One by one, the iconic venues fall silent as F1 follows the money east
- 2 Andreas Lubitz: Who is Germanwings co-pilot who 'locked out captain and crashed flight 9525'?
- 3 JK Rowling responds to fan tweeting she 'can't see' Dumbledore being gay
- 4 Germanwings crash: Descent may have been 'deliberate, suicidal choice' by pilot, claims experts
- 5 Woman held in psychiatric ward after (correctly) saying Obama follows her on Twitter
Nigel Farage brands LGBT activists 'filth' and 'scum' and accuses them of scaring away his children after they invade his local pub
Ukip supporters are 55 or older, white and socially conservative, finds British Social Attitudes Report
JK Rowling responds to fan tweeting she 'can't see' Dumbledore being gay
Russia threatens Denmark with nuclear weapons if it tries to join Nato defence shield
Jeremy Clarkson sacked live: Alan Yentob 'wouldn't rule out' ex Top Gear host's BBC return
Council tenant wins right not to be sent to Milton Keynes