The Week Ahead (25/07/10)

Today

Thierry Henry will show off his basketball skills as his new club, the New York Red Bulls, take on Manchester City, while Glasgow Rangers play Blackburn Rovers... in Sydney of course. And British players complain of burnout?

Tomorrow

You've been cycling non-stop for a month, round a decent-sized country known as France, so which bright spark said this was a good time to stage Tour de Wallonie in Belgium?

Tuesday

They will be dancing in the streets of TNS if the Welsh side can see off Anderlecht in the Champions' League qualifier tonight. And the drinks will be on Lisburn Distillery if they can overcome St Johnstone in their slightly less glamorous friendly.

Wednesday

Manchester City now come up against the might of Club America. Perhaps Roberto Mancini will have to pit his wits against the South Park management duo, who are expected to play Cartman in the hole, Stan and Kyle alongside each other (as ever) in midfield, and Kenny will be the goalkeeper until he's killed by a freak strike from Craig Bellamy.

Thursday

It's sloppy journalism to say you never know what to expect from mercurial Pakistan. So how can the same team go from being routed at Lord's to skittling the Aussies for 88 at Leeds? They're mercurial, I tell you, mercurial. England play them today.

Friday

The War of the Roses is re-enacted on the fields of Headingley as Leeds and Wigan do battle in Super league.

Saturday

Quiet day, although you could always enjoy watching Wallabies and the All Blacks beat each other to a pulp.