Newcastle boss Alan Pardew has admitted he feared the sack after head-butting Hull midfielder David Meyler.
The 52-year-old was this week handed a three-match stadium ban and a further four-match touchline suspension after admitting a Football Association misconduct charge.
Pardew was also fined £60,000, some £40,000 less than the punishment imposed on him by his club within hours of the incident at the KC Stadium on March 1.
However, owner Mike Ashley opted not to dismiss him and that was a source of huge relief.
Asked if he had feared for his job, Pardew said: "You have to. When you are in the public eye, like I am, and an incident like that [happens], you have to fear for your future.
"Of course it's a relief because when you have made a mistake - and men make mistakes - my mistake was in front of millions of people, but you have to pay a price and there was a hefty price to pay.
"Mike acted swiftly and I accepted that, and we go forward. I have to say that in this interim period since the incident, the backing I have had from the club in particular has been a really big help to me because obviously, it's been difficult."
Pardew revealed he has written to Tigers boss Steve Bruce to reiterate the apology he offered immediately after the game, and to insist he bears no ill-feeling towards former Sunderland player Meyler.
Asked if he was embarrassed by his behaviour, he said: "Yes, of course.
"Everybody has had varying opinions, but what you can't get away from is the fact that most of the opinions have been pretty much that it was a situation I can't get involved in.
"As the manager of Newcastle United, I need to make sure that never happens again.
"At the time, I didn't think it was as bad as it appeared on TV - and I must have watched it 2,000 times now.
"But the bottom line is I should never have walked forward and got involved in that situation when he pushed me.
"I sent a letter to Steve to say there was no animosity on my side towards David and to say sorry, basically, for the incident that happened. I deeply regret it."
Pardew, who requested a personal hearing, insisted he was always going to accept whatever penalty came his way and has already contacted the League Managers' Association amid suggestions he could benefit from anger management training.
He said: "It's something I went to the board for because what I must do when I come out of this situation is become a better manager.
"I have had something like 678 games, I have only had one touchline ban before this one, but that doesn't mean to say what I did had any justification.
"I spoke to the LMA about maybe some management consultant issues that I could look at that might help.
"But the bottom line, for me, is quite obvious, which I said straight after the game, that if I am going to be on the edge of the technical area, I am putting myself in that situation I don't need to be in, so I am going to sit down.
"In the short term, I'm in the stand - and actually for three games, not even in the stadium - so that has been put in place already.
"That will give me, actually, a period to get my head around it in terms of how I take the team forward because one thing you will never take out of me is my desire to win and my hunger to win.
"Newcastle fans know that that is what drives me and drives this club, so that I have to keep. But I have to channel it in the right way."
Luis Suarez and other lengthy bans
Luis Suarez and other lengthy bans
1/11 Eric Cantona – nine months
Perhaps the most famous kung-fu kick of all time, and it didn’t occur in a karate ring. Instead, Selhurst Park was the venue. When Eric Cantona took offence to obscenities being shouted from an individual in the crowd – Mark Simmons – he launched an attack on him that a ninja would do well to better. He was rightly given a worldwide ban from football that lasted nine months, which must’ve felt like football maternity leave.
2/11 Mark Bosnich – nine months
The former Man United and Chelsea goalkeeper didn’t exactly receive kind words from Sir Alex Ferguson in the legendary manager’s recently released autobiography – and none of that had anything to do with his nine month ban for testing positive for cocaine.
3/11 Rio Ferdinand – eight months
Another Manchester United legend has spent a long spell on the sidelines, but this was slightly different circumstances. After failing to appear for a drugs test in September 2003, he was made an example of by the FA and missed eight months through suspension, including Euro 2004.
4/11 Tran Dinh Dong – 28 game ban
This Vietnam international has been given an unprecedented 28-game ban following a horror tackle that left the player on the receiving end with a broken leg. The Vietnam Football Federation have also forced him to pay Nguyen Anh Hung’s medical bills - but on a positive note, his fine only amounted to £567 pounds. The VFF are quoted as saying the ban is “a warning to all players across the nation”. They believe foul play has become “popular” in the V-League.
5/11 Luis Suarez – Nine games, four months
An unprecedented nine-match suspension plus a four-month ban from all football activity was handed to the striker by Fifa for biting Giorgio Chiellini during Uruguay's 1-0 victory over Italy in the group stage. He will not be able to play again until 26 October.
6/11 Joey Barton – 12 games
Barton’s last appearance in England’s top division is possibly the most famous match ever played in the top flight. With QPR still not safe from relegation but leading at the Etihad 2-1 when City needed a result to win the title, the former Newcastle player was sent for an early bath after he elbowed Carlos Tevez. But as he left the field, he wanted to “take one of them with him”, as he once said, so he kneed Sergio Aguero and clashed with Vincent Kompany. Mario Balotelli tried wade in, it’s probably best for both parties that there was someone that to restrain them.
7/11 Paolo Di Canio – 11 games
Di Canio re-announced himself to the Premier League this term at north-east side Sunderland but it ultimately ended in tears after he was shown the door following a player revolt on Wearside. It’s not the first time he’s caused controversy, with his shove on Premier League Paul Alcock at Hillsborough during his Sheffield Wednesday’s one of the most famous meltdowns ever seen in England’s top division resulting in a hefty 11-game suspension.
8/11 Dave Prutton – 10 games
Judging by Prutton’s actions at St. Mary’s for Southampton in 2005, you could speculate he had a poster of Di Canio on his bedroom wall growing up. After being sent off for a tackle on Arsenal’s Robert Pires, Prutton went mad; he shoved referee Alan Wiley before heading for a confrontation with the linesman. He was rightly banned for 10 matches, and fined £6,000.
9/11 Luis Suarez – eight games, 10 games
Suarez makes the list again for these two incidents. Firstly, during a Premier League encounter with the Reds’ bitter rivals Man United, he was found guilty of racially abusing Patrice Evra and subsequently banned for eight games. He wasn’t quite satisfied with that, so decided to sink his teeth into Branislav Ivanovic in a league match with Chelsea during the culmination of last season. Despite receiving a 10-game ban that overlapped into this season, he’s still top of both the goal-scoring and assist-making charts.
10/11 Alan Pardew - seven matches
Pardew already been banned for two games for pushing a linesman, and was recently reminded of his responsibilities following a volley of abuse directed at Manuel Pellegrini. He has now been banned for seven matches for his butt on Hull's David Meyler, the first three being stadium bans.
11/11 Paul Ince – five game stadium ban
In the only incident that can be significantly compared to that of Pardew’s misconduct, Ince was given a five-game ban from all stadiums after he ‘violently shoved’ a fourth official following his former club Blackpool’s game against Championship newcomers Bournemouth. He also threatened to “knock him out” according to the FA.
The Magpies are yet to finalise the logistics of exactly how their manager will watch Saturday's Barclays Premier League clash with Fulham at Craven Cottage, ahead of which he will deliver his pre-match address at the team hotel before handing control to number two John Carver.
Pardew said: "He [Carver] knows what I expect and I don't envisage, for three games, it being a massive problem, if I am honest."
Carver will have to deal with a double injury blow, however, with in-form striker Loic Remy and full-back Mathieu Debuchy each having been ruled out of the next three games with calf and groin injuries respectively.