Some parts, it seems, are more private than others. Sunderland may have declined to elaborate on the injury that kept Kevin Kyle out of Saturday's match at Everton, but the Premiership's bottom club are not pouring cold water on reports that the Scotland player's testicles were scalded by boiling water after his baby son kicked over a jug during a feed.
Kyle was cradling eight-month-old Max when the baby knocked into his lap a jug of water that was being used to warm his milk. His burns were bad enough for him to be kept in hospital overnight and to miss both the 2-2 draw at Goodison Park and training on Monday. A Sunderland insider claimed an embarrassed Kyle (right) was "walking like John Wayne".
Amazingly, he is not the first footballer to suffer in such a way. Kieran Durkan, of Rochdale, was rushed to hospital after a team "mate", Richard Green, accidentally discharged a freshly boiled kettle into his lap. Mart Poom, now with Arsenal, once hurt his genitals playing in a charity match against an Iron Maiden XI.
But Poom's fellow goalkeepers do not have to leave the house to inflict bizarre injuries upon themselves. Santiago Canizares missed Spain's 2002 World Cup campaign after dropping a bottle of aftershave in his bathroom sink. A shard of glass severed a tendon in his big toe. Dave Beasant, formerly of Wimbledon, suffered an identical injury after letting a jar of salad cream slip through his hands and land on his foot.
David Seaman pulled a back muscle while reaching for the remote control in order to video Coronation Street. Michael Stensgaard, the former Liverpool reserve, damaged a shoulder while lifting the ironing-board out of a cupboard. Richard Wright, of Everton, hurt his shoulder by plunging through a loft floor. And didn't David James injure his brain by playing too many computer games?
Other victims of domestic mishaps include the Wales defender Darren Barnard, who was out for five months after slipping when failing to notice that his puppy had weed on the floor; Rio Ferdinand, who injured a tendon behind the knee cap by resting his leg on a table during an evening's television; and David Batty, who aggravated an Achilles strain when his toddler's tricycle hit him.
In baseball, the Atlanta Braves' John Smoltz reputedly burnt his chest while ironing a shirt. Well, he was wearing it at the time. Adam Eaton, of the San Diego Padres, stabbed himself in the stomach while opening a DVD. Rugby union's Mike Tindall needed 30 stitches after trapping a hand between two weights. Then there was the Derbyshire cricketer Graeme Welsh, who injured an eye while impersonating John Travolta's disco moves in Saturday Night Fever.
Even the sedate sport of golf is not immune. Step forward Sam Torrance, but be careful how you go. The Ryder Cup-winning captain fractured his sternum in a collision with a potted plant while walking in his sleep. Sunderland supporters, having endured the sight of Kyle and company sleepwalking towards relegation all season, will know the feeling.Reuse content