What happens when you leave Football Manager running for 58 consecutive days and 1,000 Premier League seasons?
That's what Reddit user Lorf_Yimzo set out to achieve in an exhaustive study... and, sadly for Chelsea supporters, the results are astonishing.
According to the game, the Blues will win just one top flight title in the next thousand years, the same amount as Forest Green Rovers, Alfreton Town and Halifax Town. In fact, Chelsea's spiralling debts are so crippling that they only play another 88 seasons in the top flight and quickly become a non-League fixture.
Enjoy it while it lasts, Roman and Jose.
Club-by-club guide to the 2015-16 season
Club-by-club guide to the 2015-16 season
Position last year: 3rd Players in: Petr Cech (Chelsea). Players out: Ryo Miyaichi (St Pauli), Abou Diaby (Marseille), Lukas Podolski (Galatasaray), Carl Jenkinson (West Ham, loan), Wojciech Szczesny (Roma, loan). Missing link: A world-class centre forward perhaps, although some claim Alexis Sanchez will fit that bill. Prospects: Only four points off second place last time, as well as FA Cup winners again. With the attacking players free of injury and Petr Cech at the back, this could see Arsenal’s best title challenge for a while. Key man: Alexis Sanchez. Prediction: 2nd
2/19 Aston Villa
Position last year: 17th Players in: Rudy Gestede (Blackburn), Scott Sinclair, Micah Richards (both Man C), Mark Bunn (Norwich), Idrissa Gueye (Lille), Jordan Amavi (Nice), Jordan Ayew (Orient), Jose Crespo (Cordoba), Jordan Veretout (Nantes). Players out: Fabian Delph (MC), Christian Benteke (Liv), Darren Bent, Andreas Weimann (both Derby), Ron Vlaar (unatt), Matt Lowton (Burnley), Antonio Luna (Eibar), Shay Given (Stoke). Missing link: Benteke’s goals, Delph’s creativity. Prospects: Tim Sherwood needs all his ability to lift them any higher. Key man: Gabriel Agbonlahor. Prediction: 16th
Position last year: 1st [Championship]. Players in: Artur Boruc (S’hampton), Adam Federici (Reading), Josh King (Blackburn), Tyrone Mings (Ipswich), Sylvain Distin (Everton), Christian Atsu (Chelsea, loan). Players out: Ian Harte (unatt), Ryan Fraser, Brett Pitman (Ipswich, loan). Missing link: Premier League experience, which can be partially offset by the confidence gleaned from success over the last six years. Prospects: Don’t underestimate their quality, bright young manager and financial firepower. Can surprise many people and stay up. Key man: Harry Arter. Prediction: 15th
Position last year:1st Players in: Radamel Falcao (Monaco, loan), Asmir Begovic (Stoke), Nathan (Paranaense). Players out: Didier Drogba (Montreal), Petr Cech (Arsenal), Josh McEachran (Brentford), Filipe Luis (Atletico), Christian Atsu (B’mouth, loan), Gael Kakuta (Sevilla), Marco van Ginkel (Stoke, loan), Patrick Bamford (C Palace, loan). Missing link: Cover in key areas, including defensive midfield. Prospects: Torn between retaining the title and a first Champions League win, Jose Mourinho could fall between two stools if last season’s luck with injuries changes. Key man: Diego Costa. Prediction: 3rd
5/19 Crystal Palace
Position last year: 10th Players in: Yohan Cabaye (Paris Saint-Germain), Patrick Bamford (Chelsea, loan), Alex McCarthy (Queens Park Rangers), Connor Wickham (Sunderland). Players out: Stephen Dobbie, Jerome Thomas (both unattached). Missing link: They possess lots of strikers but, unlike last season, one of them must hit double figures. Prospects: Both excellent signings, Cabaye and Bamford were just what Crystal Palace needed to maintain the momentum established under Alan Pardew. Further progress is possible. Key man: Yohan Cabaye. Prediction: 8th
Position last year: 11th Players in: Tom Cleverley (Man United), Gerard Deulofeu (Barcelona), David Henen (Olmpiakos). Players out: Antolin Alcaraz (unatt), Sylvain Distin (Bournemouth). Missing link: Some excitement, much missed by supporters who want to believe in Roberto Martinez but often found the football dull. Prospects: Having dropped out of the top 10 for the first time since 2006, Everton have not strengthened sufficiently to convince that they can improve. Things may get worse before they do. Key man: Ross Barkley. Prediction: 13th
7/19 Leicester City
Position last year: 14th Players in: Christian Fuchs (Schalke), Robert Huth (Stoke), Shinji Okazaki (Mainz). Players out: Chris Wood (Leeds United), Esteban Cambiasso (unattached). Missing link: The players they haven’t managed to sign yet after sacking last season’s successful manager rather late in the day. Prospects: A relegation struggle in prospect for Claudio Ranieri on his return to management in England after 11 long years. Unlike Nigel Pearson’s sterling effort, it may not succeed. Key man: Jamie Vardy. Prediction: 17th
Position last year: 6th Players in: Christian Benteke (Aston Villa), Nathaniel Clyne (Southampton), Roberto Firmino (Hoffenheim), James Milner (Man City), Danny Ings (Burnley), Adam Bogdan (Bolton), Joe Gomez (Charlton). Players out: Steven Gerrard (LA Galaxy), Glen Johnson (Stoke), Brad Jones (unatt), Sebastian Coates (Sunderland), Raheem Sterling (Man City), Andre Wisdom (Norwich, loan). Missing link: One missing in LA, another in east Manchester. Prospects: Will surely score more goals than last season’s feeble 52. Key man: Christian Benteke. Prediction: 5th
9/19 Manchester City
Position last year: 2nd Players in: Raheem Sterling (Liverpool), Fabian Delph (Aston Villa), Patrick Roberts (Fulham), David Faupala (Lens). Players out: Scott Sinclair (Villa), James Milner (L’pool), Dedryck Boyata (Celtic), Stevan Joveitc (Inter, loan) Missing link: None apparent, until Joe Hart, Vincent Kompany or Sergio Aguero are injured. Prospects: Spending another £50million-plus in defiance of those irritating Financial Fair Play rules should help them become top scorers again and quite possibly to regain the title. Key man: Sergio Aguero. Prediction: 1st
10/19 Manchester United
Position last year: 4th Players in: Memphis Depay (PSV Eindhoven), Matteo Darmian (Torino), Bastian Schweinsteiger (B Munich), Morgan Schneiderlin (Southampton), Sergio Romero (Sampdoria). Players out: Tom Cleverley (Everton), Nani, Robin van Persie (both Fenerbahce), Ben Amos (Bolton), Will Keane (Preston, loan). Missing link: A settled squad with clearly defined first-team and tactics. Prospects: Having been fourth in such an uneven campaign under a new manager, should be able to hold off Liverpool and do the same again. Key man: Too many to name. Prediction: 4th
11/19 Newcastle United
Position last year: 15th Players in: Georginio Wijnaldum (PSV Eindhoven), Aleksandar Mitrovic (Anderlecht), Chancel Mbemba (Anderlecht). Players out: Davide Santon (Internazionale),Jonas Gutierrez (unatt), Ryan Taylor (Hull), Sammy Ameobi (Cardiff, loan). Missing link: Confidence, initially, after winning two games out of 15 from the end of January onwards. Quality will take longer. Prospects: A new start under Steve McClaren, who may have pulled out a plum in young Serbian striker Aleksandar Mitrovic. Key man: Chieck Tioté. Prediction: 14th
12/19 Norwich City
Position last year: 3rd [Championship]. Players in: Graham Dorrans, Youssouf Mulumbu (both West Bromwich), Robbie Brady (Hull), Andre Wisdom (Liverpool, loan), Jake Kean (Blackburn Rovers). Players out: Mark Bunn (Aston Villa). Missing link: The men who will score the sufficient amount of goals and those who will keep them out. Prospects: Heavy and consistent scorers last season in the Championship, but the fact that they conceded 48 goals at a lower level does not bode well for the newcomers this season. Key man: Bradley Johnson Prediction: 19th
13/19 Stoke City
Position last year: 9th Players in: Jakob Hau-gaard (Midtjylland), Philipp Wollscheid (Bayer L), Joselu (Hannover), Marco van Ginkel (Chelsea, loan), Shay Given (A Villa), Glen Johnson (Liverpool), Ibrahim Afellay (Barcelona). Players out: Thomas Sorensen (retired), Wilson Palacios (unatt), Steven Nzonzi (Sevilla), Asmir Begovic (Chelsea). Missing link: Without Mame Biram Diouf’s late flurry of goals, nobody would have managed even 10. Prospects: Will need decent contributions from those new to the League, and could remain top Midlands club. Key man: Jack Butland. Prediction: 11th
Position last year: 16th Players in: Sebastian Coates (Liverpool), Adam Matthews (Celtic), Jeremain Lens (Dynamo Kiev), Younes Kaboul (Tottenham). Players out: El-Hadji Ba (Charlton), Santiago Vergini (Getafe, loan). Missing link: Goals, goals, goals. And Connor Wickham, joint top scorer (with five) has left the club. Prospects: Dick Advocaat may have stayed after all but uninspiring signings to add to a team three points off relegation suggest that it may have been only a postponement; like his departure. Key man: Jermain Defoe. Prediction: 18th
15/19 Swansea City
Position last year: 8th Players in: Andre Ayew (Marseille), Franck Tabanou (St Etienne), Kristoffer Nordfeldt (Heerenveen), Eder (Braga). Players out: Alan Tate (unattached), Gerhard Tremmel (unattached), Jazz Richards (Fulham). Missing link: A midfield hard-man alongside all the neat footballers. Prospects: Wilfried Bony’s departure in January did not have the feared effect and, if Andre Ayew proves a good foil for Bafetimbi Gomis, they will remain in good shape as well as easy on the eye. Key man: Bafetimbi Gomis. Prediction: 7th
16/19 Tottenham Hotspur
Position last year: 5th Players in: Kevin Wimmer (Cologne), Kieran Trippier (Burnley), Toby Alderweireld (Atletico Madrid). Players out: Vlad Chiriches (Napoli), Paulinho (Guangzhou E), Lewis Holtby (Hamburg), Etienne Capoue (Watford), Younes Kaboul (Sunderland), Benjamin Stambouli (PSG). Missing link: Any sort of striking back-up to Harry Kane – and a midfield enforcer. Prospects: Mauricio Pochettino appears to be putting all his eggs in a Kane basket, while jettisoning the bad buys of the past two years. Key man: Harry Kane Prediction: 6th
Position last year: 2nd [Championship]. Players in: Sebastian Prodl (W Bremen), Giedrius Arlauskis (S Bucharest), Jose Holebas (Roma), Matej Vydra (Udinese), Etienne Capoue (Tottenham), Valon Behrami (Hamburg), Allan Nyom (Granada), Miguel Britos (Napoli), Jose Jurado (S Moscow), Steven Berghuis (Alkmaar). Players out: Jonathan Bond (Reading), Lewis McGugan (Sheff Wed), Diego Fabbrini (Middlesbrough, loan). Missing link: Likely to concede too many goals. Prospects: Avoiding an immediate descent would appear the only target. Key man: Heurelho Gomes. Prediction: 20th
18/19 West Bromwich Albion
Position last year: 13th Players in: James McClean (Wigan), James Chester (Hull), Rickie Lambert (Liverpool). Players out: Graham Dorrans, Youssouf Mulumbu (both Norwich), Chris Baird (Derby), Georgios Samaras (unattached). Missing link: Apart from Saido Berahino, nobody scored more than four league goals, which Rickie Lambert now has to do. Prospects: Having a key man who could yet depart is a concern, even with Lambert on board. As long as Berahino stays, Tony Pulis should keep them steady. Key man: Saido Berahino Prediction: 12th
19/19 West Ham United
Position last year: 11th Players in: Darren Randolph (Birmingham), Pedro Obiang (Sampdoria), Dimitri Payet (Marseille), Angelo Ogbonna (Juventus), Carl Jenkinson (Arsenal, loan), Manuel Lanzini (Al-Jazira, loan). Players out: Stewart Downing (Middlesbrough), Dan Potts (Luton), Carlton Cole, Guy Demel, Jussi Jaaskelainen, Nene (all unattached). Missing link: Unknown element to signings makes assessment difficult. Prospects: The Europa League has given Slaven Bilic time to assess his squad, but Downing will be missed. Key man: Diafra Sakho. Prediction: 10th
Other key findings:
● Sheffield United are the dominant team at home, winning the Premier League a record 167 times.
● Burnley are their only rivals, and the only other team with more than 100 titles, finishing with 138 trophies.
● The Clarets are the cream of England, with 100 FA Cups (the only century) and 42 Champions League wins (one more than Sheffield United) out of a record 75 appearances; they also finish in the top three more than any other club.
● Swansea become the Premier League's great losers, failing to win a title in any of their 236 seasons in the top flight, the longest drought in the game.
● There's a new power in the South East with Southend United eventually winning the title 87 times with a further 32 Champions League wins.
● West Ham eventually win just two titles and Tottenham only five.
● A trio of former north west Premier League clubs - Wigan Athletic, Bolton Wanderers and Blackpool - never make it back into the Premier League.
● Portsmouth return for just one season in the top flight.
● Some modern records remain, however with Manchester United's 9-0 win over Ipswich in 1995 still the record score and Arsenal's 49-game unbeaten run not bettered.
● Dimitar Berbatov's five goals against Blackburn for United in 2010 is not beaten either.
● At 43 years and 162 days, former Manchester City player goalkeeper John Burridge's record stands from 1995 until at least 3015.
● Preston striker Cardo Kiaku will score a Premier League record 36 goals in 2606/07.
● Cardiff City are the great losers in the FA Cup, never winning once despite appearing in the final 12 times.
● Onto stadiums and Burnley (112,278-capacity) and Rotherham United (105,915) have the two biggest and only 100,000-plus arenas.
● Bromley, improbably, are third playing in front of up to 87,436.
● Arsenal now play at the 81,170-seat Wenger Arena and Tottenham at New White Hart Lane, which holds 70,312.
● Liverpool's attempts to find a new home have been stifled - they are still playing at Anfield. Built in 1884, that would make it 1,131 years old (let's hope there has been some maintenance work done).
● Population numbers appear to have gone through the roof in Europe - Celtic boast the biggest ground in the world and played a Europa League tie against APOEL in front of a mind-boggling 583,214 in the year 2979.
● Real Madrid are still the dominant force in the Champions League. By 3015 they will have won Europe's premier competition 108 times.
● A lot of people will also be pleased to read that hipster icon Andrea Pirlo returns to Europe to play with Young Boys Bern in Switzerland - the Italian plays well into his 40s with the club.
● Forty years of hurt (and the rest) is soon over for the Three Lions - they go onto completely dominate the international scene (although this is because Lorf_Yimzo set the game in England).
● England eventually win the World Cup a whopping 41 times - losing in the final another 40 times - well ahead of Brazil (23) and rivals Germany (22).
● Venezuela become a world power and win 24 times.
● Even Scotland have their moment of glory, winning the World Cup once.
Top work all round - you can even download the save and carry on playing if you really wish.
- More about:
- Aston Villa
- Chelsea F.c.
- Crystal Palace FC
- Leicester City
- Liverpool FC
- Manchester City
- Manchester United
- Newcastle United
- Norwich City
- Southampton Fc
- Stoke City
- Sunderland AFC
- Swansea City
- Tottenham Hotspur
- Watford Fc
- West Bromwich Albion
- West Ham United