Penny farthings to Vin Cox, who has broken the record for the fastest bicycle ride around the world. The 34-year-old cycling proficiency instructor from Cornwall proved his proficiency amply as he completed the 18,225-mile trip in 163 days – thrashing the record of 195 days set by another British rider, Mark Beaumont, in 2008 – to raise funds for the Geoff Thomas Foundation, a charity set up by the former Crystal Palace and England footballer to fund the fight against cancer. More insanely, Jeremy Burfoot of New Zealand is trying to jet-ski 32,000km from London to his homeland. The airline pilot, 51, will travel 12 hours a day for four months. He knows they don't really have jets then.
Goals scored by Ickenham Under-6s in West London last season, averaging 10 per game. Alfie Burgess top-scored with 144 and even keeper Dennis Codling netted 11 for the seven-a-side team. How many would a full XI have got?
Sickly slicks of the week
It's definitely not cricket. Baseball fan Matthew Clemens of New Jersey has been jailed for up to three months for deliberately vomiting on a spectator sitting next to him – an off-duty police officer – and his 11-year-old daughter during a Philadelphia Phillies game. Meanwhile a baseball coach in Alberta, Canada, decided that the best way to dry out a rain-sodden outfield was to pour diesel over it and set fire to it. Gerry Peterson boasted: "What usually takes a day, a day and a half for Mother Nature to take care of, we did in half an hour." Officials have closed the field for the rest of the season because of health and safety fears about fuel contamination. But the coach hasn't been fired.
Good week for
Rammie the Ram, Derby County's mascot, won the inaugural Daffodil Derby football mascot race in aid of Marie Curie Cancer Care... Bob and Mike Bryan, US tennis players, became the most successful doubles pair in history with their 62nd ATP title... Willie Wood, Scottish bowler selected for a record eighth Commonwealth Games aged 72... and Paul the Octopus, World Cup pyschic, signed up to do an album of Elvis songs.
Bad week for
Azeem Rafiq, England Under-19s captain was banned from all cricket for a month for a foul-mouthed rant at manager John Abrahams on Twitter... Joe DiMaggio, baseball legend was revealed to have had a "defective attitude towards the service", feigning illness while he was a PE instructor in the US Army during World War Two... and Bulgarian football after a match between Galatasaray and Stara Slava in Kaspichan was called off because two donkeys started mating on the pitch.
Flight of fancy of the week
Fowl play in Germany, where a couple have decided to embark on a river-swimming holiday with their seven pet ducks. Pia Marie Witt and Wilfried Arnold will leave Kassell and navigate 500km down the Fulda and Weser rivers with their brood of Indian Runners, covering 10 to 15km a day in a bid to reach the North Sea by mid-September. But the ducks are only able to swim for about 20 minutes a day so they will be picked up and transported downstream by car or boat. Meanwhile the World Hen-Racing Championships were held yesterday at the Barley Mow pub in Bonsall, Derbyshire. Spectators must remain silent in order not to scare the birds – just in case you wanted to egg them on.