Outside Edge (14/02/10)

You wait for ages for a good Super Bowl/scrotum story, then two come along in swift succession. After last week's non-exclusive about the fan so keen to attend last Sunday's game that he advertised online to swap his left testicle for "two together" tickets comes eye-watering news of a post-Super Bowl punch-up in Florida. In the small hours of Monday morning, Y Le had an altercation with a party guest. It ended with Le grabbing his guest's gonads, "puncturing them with his fingers", according to the police report. The victim needed 52 stitches, but his tackle is apparently on the mend. Which is just as well; no replacements currently seem to be offered on the internet.

23

The size of Benin's football squad, who have been sacked en bloc, along with the five-man coaching staff, following their group-stage exit in the African Cup of Nations. Their nickname is The Squirrels. They're going nuts.

Points of view of the week

Only a cynic would suggest that Jochen Noeske, the organiser of Festival of Boobs, "one of Europe's premier topless sledging tournaments" (one of?), has timed the first leg, or chest, to cash in on the Winter Olympics publicity. But his chosen venue, Oberwiesenthal in Germany, seems strangely underwhelmed by the prospect. "The vast majority of residents oppose the idea," harrumphs the mayor, Mirko Ernst. "The good reputation of our town would suffer." Undaunted, Noeske ripostes: "If they ban us, we'll take the competition over the border to the Czech Republic." Just make sure you're invited this time, folks – those Czechs have long memories.

Good week for

Drew Brees, the New Orleans Saints quarterback, named Most Valuable Player after leading the team to Super Bowl victory... Bradley Wiggins, led Britain's cycling Team Sky to a win in the opening time-trial of the Tour of Qatar... and Amy Fearn, became the first woman to referee a League game after taking over Coventry v Nottingham Forest after the original referee was injured.

Bad week for

Nicky Hayden, MotoGP rider ruined his team Ducati's new-bike launch by posting advance pictures of it on his website... Kieren Kelly and Jamie Stevenson, British shot putters suspended for refusing to take out-of-competition drugs tests... and Chris Atkinson, a Manchester City fan who had Robinho's name tattooed on his chest just before the Brazilian left the club go back home.

Mucky story of the week

There have been the usual concerns about whether everything will be ready in time for the big kick-off in June, but the organisers are quietly confident they are on schedule. So the 200 or so teams competing for the Swamp Soccer World Cup on the 26 and 27 June in Strachur, Scotland, can look forward to a gloriously mucky time, though slick interpassing will probably be at a premium as sides such as Cowdungbeath, Swampdoria, Sporting Abeergut and Real Mudrid battle it out for the ultimate prize. If England get knocked out at the group stage in that other event in South Africa they would have just enough time get back and enter; certainly their name would be mud.

a.tong@independent.co.uk

PROMOTED VIDEO
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Caption competition
Caption competition
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Daily Quiz
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

Career Services
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Oracle DBA (Database Administrator, 10g, 11g, PL/SQL)

£45000 - £50000 Per Annum + £5k shift allowance, 12% bonus, benefits: Clearwat...

Drama Teacher required from January 2014

£6720 - £33600 per annum: Randstad Education Nottingham: Randstad Education is...

Oracle DBA (Database Administrator, 10g, 11g, PL/SQL)

£45000 - £50000 Per Annum + £5k shift allowance, 12% bonus, benefits: Clearwat...

Cover Supervisor

£45 - £65 per day: Randstad Education Chester: Job Opportunities for Cover Sup...

Day In a Page

Kate Bush, Hammersmith Apollo music review: A preamble, then a coup de théâtre - and suddenly the long wait felt worth it

Kate Bush shows a voice untroubled by time

A preamble, then a coup de théâtre - and suddenly the long wait felt worth it
Robot sheepdog technology could be used to save people from burning buildings

The science of herding is cracked

Mathematical model would allow robots to be programmed to control crowds and save people from burning buildings
Tyrant: Is the world ready for a Middle Eastern 'Dallas'?

This tyrant doesn’t rule

It’s billed as a Middle Eastern ‘Dallas’, so why does Fox’s new drama have a white British star?
Rachael Lander interview: From strung out to playing strings

From strung out to playing strings

Award-winning cellist Rachael Lander’s career was almost destroyed by the alcohol she drank to fight stage fright. Now she’s playing with Elbow and Ellie Goulding
The science of saturated fat: A big fat surprise about nutrition?

A big fat surprise about nutrition?

The science linking saturated fats to heart disease and other health issues has never been sound. Nina Teicholz looks at how governments started advising incorrectly on diets
Emmys 2014 review: Can they genuinely compete with the Oscars

Can they genuinely compete with the Oscars?

The recent Emmy Awards are certainly glamorous, but they can't beat their movie cousins
On the road to nowhere: A Routemaster trip to remember

On the road to nowhere

A Routemaster trip to remember
Hotel India: Mumbai's Taj Mahal Palace leaves its darker days behind

Hotel India

Mumbai's Taj Mahal Palace leaves its darker days behind
10 best pencil cases

Back to school: 10 best pencil cases

Whether it’s their first day at school, uni or a new project, treat the student in your life to some smart stationery
Arsenal vs Besiktas Champions League qualifier: Gunners know battle with Turks is a season-defining fixture

Arsenal know battle with Besiktas is a season-defining fixture

Arsene Wenger admits his below-strength side will have to improve on last week’s show to pass tough test
Pete Jenson: Athletic Bilbao’s locals-only transfer policy shows success does not need to be bought

Pete Jenson: A Different League

Athletic Bilbao’s locals-only transfer policy shows success does not need to be bought
This guitar riff has been voted greatest of all time

The Greatest Guitar Riff of all time

Whole Lotta Votes from Radio 2 listeners
Britain’s superstar ballerina

Britain’s superstar ballerina

Alicia Markova danced... every night of the week and twice on Saturdays
Berlin's Furrie invasion

Berlin's Furrie invasion

2000 fans attended Eurofeurence
‘It was a tidal wave of terror’

‘It was a tidal wave of terror’

Driven to the edge by postpartum psychosis