Avram Grant is tipped to be heading to West Ham, but what of another of Portsmouth's many managers in recent years, Tony Adams? Things seemed to have gone a bit quiet for the lad in recent times, but the former Arsenal hero is back. And how, with a reputed £1m-a-year contract to manage Gabala FC. What? You've never heard of them? How could you have missed a side sitting respectably mid-table in the Azerbaijan Premier League? Possibly picking his words carefully, one of Adams's new players said: "We welcome the great Tony Adams; we can be very proud to have such a great footballer as our coach." His name: Tarzen Jahangirov. Be careful, Tony, it's a jungle out there.
The sum fetched at a charity auction for the suit Harry Redknapp was wearing when he was drenched by his Spurs players as they celebrated qualification for the Champions' League next season. Dry cleaning extra.
Disorderly eating of the week
It's tamper time again at Wikipedia, judging by the entry for Neville Southall, the amply proportioned Everton and Wales goalkeeper of yore: "Neville Southall is a Whale of a former international footballer. He has been described as one of the fattest goalkeepers in history... He was famously sent off in an U-14 fixture for trying to eat the referee." More food for thought from China, where their Olympic judo champion Tong Wen has tested positive for the banned substance clenbuterol. This is used in pork production, and Wen blames eating a surfeit of pork chops for her plight. To no avail; she's been banned for two years. That's what comes of being a little piggy.
Good week for
Kevin Pietersen, celebrated the birth of his son by hitting the winning runs to take England into the World Twenty20 final... Matt Calland, Halifax rugby league head coach, reinstated two days after being suspended... and David Beckham, invited by Fabio Capello to join England's inner sanctum at the World Cup.
Bad week for
Bobby Zamora, striker lost the Europa League final with Fulham, and missed out on a possible England World Cup place through injury... Bangladesh cricket captain Shakib Al Hasan, caught chickenpox on tour in England... and Win McMurry, US TV golf reporter, inadvertently referred to Tiger Woods's neck injury on air as a "bulging dick" instead of disc.
Wonky steering of the week
Bad moon rising Down Under last weekend for Mark Tapper, who crashed out of Rally New Zealand after a spectator dropped his pants as Tapper approached a bend. "A very white bottom beside the road put me off for a fraction of a second, then I just ran wide and rolled," he said. "Possum Bourne [another driver] obviously got his nickname from a possum running out and crashing his car, so I hope my nickname isn't going to be Brown Eye." More wayward driving at Chesterfield FC last weekend, when a disabled Spireites spectator celebrating a late winner joined a pitch invasion in his wheelchair. No word yet whether he'll be getting a wheelie ban.