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All eyes on the Twenty20 this week; certainly Bumble's are fully focused after his visit to an optician in the Sky ads. But keep an eye on the England team's eyewear too, as Dr Nick Dash (or it might be Dick Nash), an optometrist at Loughborough University, has prescribed a range of different-coloured lenses depending on the conditions which he claims can improve their vision by up to 28 per cent: orange for dusk, silver for glare, that sort of thing. More help is available from Tel Aviv University, whose researchers claim that playing violent computer games can also improve sight. Of the two games they used in their tests, 'Call of Duty' has perhaps a slightly more stirring ring to it than 'Unreal Tournament' for England's purposes.

194

The number of prison inmates riding in the first Penal Tour de France, escorted by 127 guards. Over 2,400km they will stop in 17 towns, each with a jail, will not be classified and have to ride in a pack; strictly no breakaways allowed.

Autograph hunters of the week

You want that signature, but where to have it written? A piece of paper? So low-rent. A book? So passé. Danica Patrick, the US Indycar driver famous for being female and, er, winning one race, has the answer for chubby males in her latest mobile phone ad, as she inscribes her moniker on a pair of man boobs. At least the actor could rub it off, which is more than Glenn Timmermann, a fan of the Chicago Bears American football team, can do with the signatures of the 92 players past and present he has had tattooed all over his body. As he's a biker with an aversion to shirts, some get plenty of display. Stay classy, America.

Good week for

Andy Robinson, appointed as Scotland's rugby union head coach after being sacked by England in 2006... Casey Stoner, Australian rider, heads the MotoGP standings after ending Valentino Rossi's seven straight wins at Mugello... GB rowing squad, won nine of the 14 gold medals on offer at the opening World Cup regatta in Spain... and Alistair Brownlee, British triathlete, won his first World Championship Series event in Madrid.

Bad week for

Andrew Symonds, Australian cricket's serial bad boy, sent home from the World Twenty20 Cup after breaking the team's alcohol rules... Shanaze Reade, Crewe cyclist, misses chance of third successive BMX world title in July after falling and damaging a shoulder... David Haye, British heavyweight, forced out of a world-title fight against Wladimir Klitschko because of injury... and Laura Robson, British No 1 girl's seed, crashed out in second round of French Open.

Wet 'n' wild action of the week

Two more diary dates in our tireless, some would say tiresome, quest to bring you the wilder fringes of sport. Next Saturday sees the 44th running of Yorkshire's Great Knaresborough Bed Race, which last year attracted 67 entries. One team member stays in the wheeled bed, six propel it, and the course includes a river crossing. A month later in East Dublin, Georgia, it's the 14th Summer Redneck Games, where for a paltry $5 you can take on America's good ol' boys (and gals) at old favourites such as the cigarette flip, mudpit belly flop, armpit serenade and hubcap hurl. Bed Race details at knaresborough.co.uk; the Bubba brigade hang out at summerredneckgames.com.

a.tong@independent.co.uk

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