Outside Edge

There was bewilderment at the news that Diane Keaton had been rushed to hospital after hitting her head while doing a sumo wrestling scene for the film 'Morning Glory'. Then Outside Edge heard she was wearing a "fat suit" and everything seemed perfectly normal again. But sport is so bad for your health. The University of Cordoba in Spain has found that men who cycle more than 180 miles per week are damaging their fertility. Professor Diane Vaamonde suggests they freeze their sperm early doors. Then we hear that St Sidwell's Primary School, Exeter, has banned swimming goggles because of the risk of "serious injury" when children adjust them. The mind boggles.

£12,700

Another tenuous sports-related injury. Sally Price received this in compensation after being hit on the head by a football kicked by Rod Stewart at a concert in Dublin – it's been part of his act for 20 years. So did he sing 'You wear it well'?

Rules of thumb of the week

Sport is not only bad for your physical health, it can cause serious psychological damage too. In Gainsville, Florida, the Kyrgyzstan marathon runner Irina Bogacheva, who competed at three successive Olympics, was found rather the worse for wear by a policeman. He offered to drive her home; she tried to bite his thumb off. And Bruno Esposito, 68, shot his laptop five times in Cavasso Nuovo, Italy, after his online chess game "froze". But it seems help is at hand. A family doctor in Suffolk, is prescribing free golf lessons to patients who suffer from depression or anxiety, "helping them to socialise and build confidence". Clearly Dr Richard West has never played golf, or spent time with any golfers.

Good week for

Graham Taylor, nominated by Sir Elton John as his "Gay Icon" for an exhibition at the National Gallery... Phil and Nick McCorry, Matt Helier and Ian Allen, British rowers became the first four to row 3,132 miles from Australia to Mauritius – in 68 days... and Marseille Vitrolles, the French third division rugby team recruit All Black Jonah Lomu.

Bad week for

Gica Popescu, former Spurs player admits acting as an informant for the Romanian secret police Securitate in the 1980s... Sara Campbell, freediver blacked out two metres from the surface on the way back up after trying to break her own world record at a depth of 100m... and Scott Nicholls, Great Britain speedway captain, axed from World Cup due to poor form a day after he got into a fight with Emil Sayfutdinov at the British Grand Prix.

Familiar failings of the week

It's that time of year when happy couples can enjoy a day out together in Sonkajarvi, Finland, for the 13th annual World Wife-Carrying Championships. But recent years have seen the introduction of a relay which has complicated matters. The wife acts as a baton and is passed between three runners. But whose wife is it, anyway? The prize is her weight in beer so presumably the trio share that, if not the conjugal duties. If the burden of marriage isn't for you, head off to the Kirkpinar Oil-Wrestling Championship, a 650-year-old Turkish festival for glistening men in leather shorts. But it's not homoerotic. Oh no. Although one shock tactic is to stick your hands inside your opponent's pants...

a.tong@independent.co.uk