Outside Edge (25/07/10)
Sunday 25 July 2010
Colourful golfer John Daly, fresh from his appearance at The Open in outfits which made Ian Poulter look like a Young Fogey, has released his second country album, ominously entitled 'I Only Know One Way'.
In the past, that way has included drunken brushes with the authorities, four marriages, gambling losses of about $60m and weight problems, so if he's looking for material for album No 3, Edge offers the following c&w ditties for consideration: "I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy"; "Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed"; and "Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye". Book that studio now.
Price of a limited-edition (10 copies) biography of Sachin Tendulkar, printed on paper mixed with the Little Master's blood. A cheaper, 1,000-copy run is planned, selling at between £1,300-£2,000 – the price appears to be fluid.
Long-playing record of the week
A bowling record was set last week that seems unlikely to be beaten – in his local alley in Plano, Texas, Stephen Shanabrook knocked down the tenpins continuously for five days and two hours, taking a mere five-minute break every hour, to beat the previous mark by three hours. Bowling of a different kind at the Stephen Joseph Theatre in Scarborough, which is staging a production of 'The Mikado' set on a cricket pitch, and in Manchester, where a group of Thai ladyboy cabaret performers have been turning their arm over at a local cricket club – "We got hooked on watching this strange game on TV," explained one of the artistes. No reports of any lost balls so far.
Good week for...
Muttiah Muralitharan , the Sri Lanka spinner took his 800th Test wicket with his final Test ball... Merlene Ottey, selected for Slovenia's 4 x 100m relay squad at the age of 50... Alan Wills, the Cumbrian archer won gold at the World Field Championships... and the England women's hockey team, earned their first-ever Champions Trophy medal (a bronze) by beating Germany, who had a goal controversially disallowed, 2-1.
Bad week for...
James Cracknell , double Olympic rowing gold medallist fractured his skull in a cycling accident... France's World Cup squad, all 23 members suspended by the new coach, Laurent Blanc, for the friendly against Norway on 11 August... and the vuvuzela, South Africa's noisy World Cup horns banned from eight Premier League grounds.
Snail male of the week
Travelling 13 inches in 3min 41sec may not sound impressive, but it was good enough to win the World Snail Racing Championship in Norfolk last weekend, so respect to a gasteropod named Sidney, and we hope he enjoys his prize of a silver tankard filled with lettuce. Competitors in the UK Backward Running Championships at Manchester on 22 August should travel a little faster; the world 100m record for this curiously underrated form of locomotion is 13.6sec, though snide suggestions that it was set by an Italian soldier in the Second World War are unworthy of comment. If you fancy putting your best foot backward, sign up at reverserunning.com. And mind the lampposts.
Latest in Sport
Mario Balotelli: Time running out for ‘lost boy’ to shine
Liverpool fans applaud Cristiano Ronaldo after master-class for Real Madrid, despite his Manchester United ties
In other places I would have been sacked straight after 8-0 Southampton defeat, says Sunderland manager Gus Poyet
Angel Di Maria injury latest: Argentina international set to play in Manchester United vs Chelsea match
Liverpool vs Real Madrid match report: Cristiano Ronaldo and Karim Benzema run Reds ragged at Anfield
- 1 This 'woman calls police to order pizza' story isn't going where you're expecting
- 2 Watch what happened when food critics were unknowingly served McDonald's
- 3 Jimmy Carr's controversial Oscar Pistorius joke goes a bit too far at the Q Awards
- 4 Ottawa shootings: Bruce MacKinnon's cartoon is the perfect tribute to soldier Nathan Cirillo shot dead at war memorial
- 5 Of course, teenage girls need role models – but not like beauty vlogger Zoella
Of course, teenage girls need role models – but not like beauty vlogger Zoella
Cameron is warned 'no possibility' of UK reducing immigration and that bid to bring in quota on migrant workers would be illegal
Support for EU membership 'at highest level since 1991' with most Brits wanting to stay 'in'
Thousands with degenerative conditions classified as 'fit to work in future' – despite no possibility of improvement
Residents should throw a street party and mix with immigrant neighbours, councils told
London bus driver 'kicks gay couple off for kissing'
£50 per day: Randstad Education Cheshire: SEN Teaching Assistant EBD , Septemb...
£7 per hour: Randstad Education Cheshire: We are a large and successful recrui...
£50 per day: Randstad Education Cheshire: SEN Teaching Assistant We are curr...
£45000 per annum: Ampersand Consulting LLP: Datacentre Consultant (Datacentre,...