Outside Edge (25/07/10)
Sunday 25 July 2010
Colourful golfer John Daly, fresh from his appearance at The Open in outfits which made Ian Poulter look like a Young Fogey, has released his second country album, ominously entitled 'I Only Know One Way'.
In the past, that way has included drunken brushes with the authorities, four marriages, gambling losses of about $60m and weight problems, so if he's looking for material for album No 3, Edge offers the following c&w ditties for consideration: "I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy"; "Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed"; and "Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye". Book that studio now.
Price of a limited-edition (10 copies) biography of Sachin Tendulkar, printed on paper mixed with the Little Master's blood. A cheaper, 1,000-copy run is planned, selling at between £1,300-£2,000 – the price appears to be fluid.
Long-playing record of the week
A bowling record was set last week that seems unlikely to be beaten – in his local alley in Plano, Texas, Stephen Shanabrook knocked down the tenpins continuously for five days and two hours, taking a mere five-minute break every hour, to beat the previous mark by three hours. Bowling of a different kind at the Stephen Joseph Theatre in Scarborough, which is staging a production of 'The Mikado' set on a cricket pitch, and in Manchester, where a group of Thai ladyboy cabaret performers have been turning their arm over at a local cricket club – "We got hooked on watching this strange game on TV," explained one of the artistes. No reports of any lost balls so far.
Good week for...
Muttiah Muralitharan , the Sri Lanka spinner took his 800th Test wicket with his final Test ball... Merlene Ottey, selected for Slovenia's 4 x 100m relay squad at the age of 50... Alan Wills, the Cumbrian archer won gold at the World Field Championships... and the England women's hockey team, earned their first-ever Champions Trophy medal (a bronze) by beating Germany, who had a goal controversially disallowed, 2-1.
Bad week for...
James Cracknell , double Olympic rowing gold medallist fractured his skull in a cycling accident... France's World Cup squad, all 23 members suspended by the new coach, Laurent Blanc, for the friendly against Norway on 11 August... and the vuvuzela, South Africa's noisy World Cup horns banned from eight Premier League grounds.
Snail male of the week
Travelling 13 inches in 3min 41sec may not sound impressive, but it was good enough to win the World Snail Racing Championship in Norfolk last weekend, so respect to a gasteropod named Sidney, and we hope he enjoys his prize of a silver tankard filled with lettuce. Competitors in the UK Backward Running Championships at Manchester on 22 August should travel a little faster; the world 100m record for this curiously underrated form of locomotion is 13.6sec, though snide suggestions that it was set by an Italian soldier in the Second World War are unworthy of comment. If you fancy putting your best foot backward, sign up at reverserunning.com. And mind the lampposts.
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